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Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
According to this episode, Homer uses contacts.
Sign seen on the church marquee: "Watch Ally McBeal - it's great!"
It is revealed that Lenny and Carl are Buddhists in the episode.
Homer's credit card number: 5784 3653 4341 0709.
Mr. Burns: This is Lindsay Naegle. Don't let the skirt fool you; she'll have this place making money in no time!
Marge: Fixing this church is going to be very expensive.
Reverend Lovejoy: Yes...barring some miracle (looks up to sky, arms wide open for the Lord's help) (beat). Alright, we'll help ourselves. YET again.
(Close-up of Homer at breakfast)
Homer: So, you think you know better than this family, huh? Well, as long as you're in my house, you'll do what I do and believe what I believe! (it turns out that he is talking to Bart) So butter your bacon!
Bart: Yes, father. (does so)
Lisa: (walking in) Mom, Dad, my spiritual quest is over!
Homer: Hold that thought... (to Bart) Bacon up that sausage, boy!
Bart: But, Dad, my heart hurts!
(Homer glares at him; Bart reluctantly wraps a slice of bacon around his sausage and eats it.)
Richard Gere: I am dreaming of a free Tibet.
Lenny: We are dreaming of free sandwiches.
Carl: Hey, Richard, in An Officer and a Gentleman, did you really do all those sit-ups?
Richard Gere: I wish! I did one, and they just showed it a thousand times.
Marge: (Cheerfully) Who wants some astro-lemonade?
Nerd: What precisely makes it "astro"?
Marge: Look, I don't want to start a whole thing with this.
Kearney: Fixing this church should be our top priority. And I say that as a teenager and a parent of a teenager.
Marge: (whispering) Here she comes! And a-one, and a-two, and...
Family: (singing) We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish -- (stop as Lisa enters)
Marge: ...oh. Hello, Lisa.
Lisa: I just came down for a glass of water.
Marge: Oh. Well, you do have a present under the tree. I guess no-one told Santa you were a Buddhist.
Lisa: Well, Santa can take it back, because I'm not ruled by material desi-- (gasps when she sees the "present") Is that a pony!?
(Homer and Bart stand beside it)
Homer: I don't know what Santa left you! I just know his name is Clip-Clop and he loves sugar. (holds out some sugar cubes to the pony)
Marge: Lisa, we love you, and we're not trying to put any pressure on you!
(She sets Maggie, carrying a candy cane, down on the floor, and nudges her with her foot. Maggie walks over to Lisa and holds out the cane.)
Lisa: (touched) Aww!
(Reverend Lovejoy peers through the living room window as Lisa takes the cane)
Reverend Lovejoy: Lick it! Lick it!
Lisa: (noticing him) NO! (runs out of the house)
Lenny: Richard Gere! The world's most famous Buddhist!
Carl: What about the Dalai Lama?
Lenny: Who's the Dalai Lama?
Carl: You know, the 14th Reincarnation of Buddha?
Lenny: Who's Buddha?
Richard Gere: It's a good thing Buddhism teaches freedom from desire, 'cause I've got the desire to kick your ass!
(Lenny and Carl meditating.)
Lenny: Who likes short shorts?
Carl: I like short shorts.
Richard Gere: Those guys are way off.
Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done!
Homer: You know, you say that so much it's lost all meaning.
Bart: He didn't say science... he said, um, pie pants!
Homer: Mmm... pie pants.
Homer: The word un-blow-upable is thrown around a lot these days.
This episode was nominated, but did not win an Emmy Award in the "Outstanding Animated Program (For Programming Less Than One Hour)" category at the 54th Annual Prime time Emmy Awards.
Blackboard Joke: I do not have a cereal named after me.
Couch Gag: The couch is replaced by a giant slot machine. The slots spin and land on pictures of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa. A "7" shows up in Maggie's place and a bell sounds as coins fall out of the slot machine and onto the floor.
The little red guy called the Noid is a reference to an old advertising campaign used by Domino's Pizza. The Noid is a gremlin-type creature that would make pizzas cold before delivery. Their slogan was "Avoid The Noid".
While cleaning his teeth, Homer sings a song parody of the Devo hit "Whip It" entitled "Floss It".
While Lenny and Carl are meditating, they chant, "Who likes short shorts? I like short shorts." This is a reference to the 70's commercial for Nair, a leg hair removal product.
When Lisa appears on the Jumbotron at church, she looks sulky and a caption reads, "Pouting Thomas." This is a play on the biblical story of "Doubting Thomas." Thomas was one of the Apostles. He saw Jesus after the Resurrection and had to touch him before he would believe that Jesus had actually risen from the dead.
Homer: It's time to slip the surly bonds of gravity and punch the face of God!
Homer is trying to quote the poem "High Flight" by John Gillespie Magee, an RCAF pilot in World War II. The poem begins, "For I have slipped the surly bonds of earth," and ends with, "Put out my hand, and touched the face of God."
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