The Simpsons

Season 17 Episode 9

Simpsons Christmas Stories

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Dec 18, 2005 on FOX
out of 10
User Rating
255 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Simpsons Christmas Stories
When Reverend Lovejoy and Ned Flanders are unable to deliver the Christmas sermon, Homer steps in and tells the story of the birth of the baby Jesus (Bart), King Harod’s (Mr. Burns’) attempt to have the baby killed and the creation of the first Christmas tree. Grandpa relates to Bart and Lisa the story of how in the Navy he and his older brother Cyrus were fighting in the Pacific in World War II. During a battle Cyrus’s plane is lost and Abe and Mr. Burns (his co-pilot) crash land their own plane. At Christmastime while awaiting rescue, Burns, anxious to shoot at something, shoots down Santa Claus. Abe and Burns help Santa to rebuild his sleigh (only for Burns to later steal.) After Abe gets it back, Santa promises to come back for a follow-up rescue, but never does. After Abe has finished relating the story to the kids, Santa makes his overdue appearance and takes Abe to Tahiti to be reunited with his brother. The kids at Springfield Elementary perform “Perhaps the worst version ever” rendition of “The Nutcracker” ballet according to Superintendent Chalmers. When it is revealed that you don’t have to pay for the music rights it leads to a montage of citizens of Springfield going about their usual Christmas activities to the more familiar pieces of music from “The Nutcracker,” including a sequence where Moe tries to kill himself, and Homer (forgetting as usual) tries to get Marge her present at the last minute.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

No results found.
  • Christmas gets the Treehouse of Horror treatment as The Simpsons tells three stories of Christmas.

    This episode started off great. The opening scenes at the First Church of Springfield were very well done. The same can be said for the first story of the episode. The story had a very well written script with great jokes and some very clever sight gags. It had an ending that nobody suspected which makes it all the more enjoyable. Who would ever guess that Homer would come up with such a clever idea to defeat King Herod and his army. I wish I could say the same for the other two stories. The second story concerning Abe Simpson's less that factual account of why he hates Santa Claus has its moments but overall it was not that good. A few laughs here and there help the story a bit. The third and final story is a definite improvement. I was very entertained by the clever songs set to the music of "The Nutcracker" as well as Moe's failed suicide attempts. There have been better Christmas themed episodes of "The Simpsons". The best is "I Won't Be Home for Christmas". However "Simpsons Christmas Stories" is not too bad of en episode that has enough laughs to make it worth your time. Merry Christmas!moreless
  • Christmas Stories

    The First D'oh-el- Bart is baby Jesus and Mary and Joseph fight to save him from those who want him dead. Kind of a weird plot, but good. B+/A-

    I Saw Grampa Cussing Santa Claus- Grampa reveals why he does not like Santa in a flashback story. Grade- C

    The Nutcracker... Sweet- A hilarious story that is a musical, which to be honest, I think is the reason some people did not like it. Oh well, I still did, A.

    Overall, last was the best, first was the middle one and the second was the worst, all in my opinion of coursemoreless
  • First two great. The last one?... Eh,

    The Story of Baby Jesus This had to be the best of the episode. The story of Baby Jesus as a funny verson. I love the line, "Shalom everybody! "Shalom Dr. Nick!" Final rating: B-

    I saw Grampa cussing Santa Claus

    This is the real title of the episode. It's as good as "The story of Baby Jesus. But, short. So, that's why they could do better.

    Final rating: C

    Nutcracker SWEET!

    Ugh! I did'nt really care for this episode! Why?


    Too musical.

    And, led no where! That's why those two other ones are much better than this episode. Merry Christmas, readers.

    Final rating: F+

    Final Rating: C, 6moreless
  • Bart is Jesus, Grampa Simpson trys to kill Santa Claus, and characters sing tunes from "The Nutcracker"

    I got to hand this one to the writers, probably the best Christmas episode. I usually am impressed with the trilogy episodes but these I thought were spectacular.

    My favorite was "The Nutcracker...Sweet", I was surprised I liked it because I usually find songs in "The Simpsons" kind of boring, but this was good. My favorite part of this and maybe even the whole episode was Moe. Moe said it was his tradition on Christmas to kill himself and it never happened, when I first heard that I thought it would be stupid. But it was hilarious, he tried hanging himself in the bar, sleding in the middle of the highway and such. It was great!

    Nice episode!!!

    Hope you enjoy the review!moreless
  • In my opinion? Best. Parody. Of the Bible. Ever.

    In my opinion? Best. Parody. Of the Bible. Ever. Without a doubt. The whole Jesus being born thing, and Mathew Mark Luke and John beoing Papparazis for Jesus was great. I also really enjoyed seeing Abes brother, and enjoyed the musical of Homer freaking out becuase he couldn't find prestnts for the kids/marge on the night before christmas.

    Some of my choice quotes include:

    I need a present for my wife, or ill have no sex for life

    There he is! I see his head thingy!

    Lisa/Gabriel: Holy Mary! Full of grace! The lord is with you! You carry in your womb the son of god!

    Marge/Mary: So, not a doctor?

    Well, thats it for this episode (without a doubt, the best ep) so,

    See yas!moreless
Dan Castellaneta

Dan Castellaneta

Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others

Hank Azaria

Hank Azaria

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others

Harry Shearer

Harry Shearer

Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others

Julie Kavner

Julie Kavner

Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier

Nancy Cartwright

Nancy Cartwright

Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others

Yeardley Smith

Yeardley Smith

Lisa Simpson

Pamela Hayden

Pamela Hayden

Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others

Recurring Role

Tress MacNeille

Tress MacNeille

Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

    • The swing tune played by Cyrus's watch during the aircraft carrier sequence is Glenn Miller's "American Patrol", an appropriate song for a bunch of pilots about to take to the skies.

  • QUOTES (13)

    • (Santa Claus, Grampa, and his brother, Cyrus, are relaxing on the beach)
      Grampa: Why did you never come back to pick me up?
      Santa: Oh, I kept putting it off and putting it off.
      Cyrus: And I'm sorry for not calling, I was too busy with my fifteen native wives.
      Grampa: Fifteen?! Ooh, that's a lot of sex.
      Cyrus: I said 'wives', not 'girlfriends'.

    • Professor Frink (as Wise Man): I have myrrh, which I'm re-gifting, because who needs myrrh?

    • (Lenny the Shepherd is playing with Baby Jesus)
      Lenny the Shepherd: I got the Messiah's nose. I got the Messiah's nose.
      Carl the Shepherd: Give it back, give it back, he'll kill us all!

    • (Mary is trying to calm a crying baby Jesus)
      Marge (as Mary): Anytime anyone suffers in the world he starts crying again. (to Joseph) Can you do something?
      Homer (as Joseph): Me? But I'm watching the Orange Bowl.
      (he is looking at a bowl of oranges).

    • Abe: Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned back into days…

    • Burns (as Herod): He put his halo on a duck. The oldest trick in the book.

    • Cyrus: Kamikazes at two o'clock.
      Abe: Well I usually don't drink after lunch but… Oh, my God. The Sky's full of that kind of plane that crashes into the boat.

    • Homer: And did you know…that little baby Jesus grew up to be…Jesus? (everyone gasps) I know, it's weird, isn't it?

    • Lisa as the Angel: (appearing as Joseph goes to strangle Jesus) Joseph, no! He has to stay alive till he's thirty-three when he'll be renounced by his friends and crucified!
      Bart as Baby Jesus: Huh?
      Lisa as the Angel: Sorry kid.

    • Moe as the Innkeeper: Now don't you worry, I got plenty of rooms in my inn. (gives key to Joseph) All with brand new carpeting.
      Marge as Mary: I think my water just broke!
      Moe as the Innkeeper: (snatches key back and points to barn outside) You can have the barn. Now feel free to come by the main house for breakfast. There won't be any.

    • Lisa as the Angel: Hail Mary, full of grace.
      Homer as Joseph: (muttering) That's not all she's full of.
      Lisa as the Angel: Quiet, you! Mary, you carry in your womb the son of God, who will grow up to become King of the Jews.
      Marge as Mary: So, not a doctor.
      Lisa as the Angel: Well, he will be able to heal the sick.
      Marge as Mary: But nothing to hang on the wall?

    • Homer: (addressing the congregation) You know how your paperboy always sends you a Christmas card with his home address on it? What's up with that?
      Paperboy: I wanted you to tip me!
      Homer: No tip till they bring back Hagar the Horrible!
      Paperboy: That's not my decision.
      Homer: Oh it's never anybody's decision.

    • Marge as Mary: Husband, as you know, I have never been with a man.
      Homer as Joseph: (scoffs) Tell me about it.
      Marge as Mary: And yet I am with child! (she reveals she is pregnant)
      Homer as Joseph: A pregnant virgin? Ohh! That every man's worse nightmare!

  • NOTES (5)


    • Three Stooges
      Homer and Skinner partake in some Three Stooges comedy while trying to entertain baby Bart.

    • Betty Grable pin-up picture: When Grandpa first pictures Burns as a woman, Burns is in the same pose as this famous WWII pin-up photo.

    • When Bart (Jesus) turns Homer's (Joseph's) wine into to water he crosses his arms in a similar way to the genie, Jeannie, from I Dream of Jeannie, a popular American sitcom, which aired from 1965-1970.