Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
The ragtime music video playing during the montage of Homer and Bart at the catholic school is called "Maple Leaf Rag," a public-domain ragtime piano piece composed by Scott Joplin in 1899.
After Bart speaks Latin at the dinner table, Lisa states that Latin is Plutarch's language. However, Plutarch was a Greek who wrote in Greek during the Roman Empire.
Statue plaque: "St. Jerome. He died for our sins. Now it's your turn."
It took Marge five years to toilet-train Bart.
Catholic Springfielders: It is made clear in this episode that most of the main characters in Springfield are Protestants, who attend Rev. Lovejoy's church. The episode does give some insight into who are the (probable) Roman Catholics in Springfield. At the church's pancake dinner one can spot: Bumblebee Man (Hispanic); Mayor Quimby (Irish, but he may only be attending a community event for political reasons); Luigi and two members of Fat Tony's crew (Italian). Fat Tony is sitting at a different table as his fellow mob members.
(After shaking Father Sean's hand)
Ned's mind: Note to self: Have hand re-blessed.
Abe: I need two double A batteries now.
Homer: Get them from the smoke detector.
Marge: What if there's a fire?
Homer: The smoke will wake us up.
Homer: Bart I can't believe you got expelled, don't think you're going to be lying on the couch all week long cos that's my thing.
Bart: Easy on the zeal Churchos… I've got something to say. Don't you get it? It's all Christianity, people! The little stupid differences are nothing next to the big stupid similarities!
Lisa: Everyone should be able to choose their faith, just like I chose Buddhism.
Father Sean: Buddhism? (laughs) Well, I guess lots of kids have imaginary friends.
Lisa: I'll ignore that.
Homer: Marge you bring Bart home now! Once you go Vatican, you can't go back again.
Ned: We gotta stop them now! Once they seal the deal, there's no turning back; just like the Jews with their snippety-snip.
Marge: Homer, you've been out all night and you look like you've accepted someone as your personal something. Were you at that Catholic Church?!
Homer: Look Marge, I know I was supposed to yell at that priest, but he's so cool! He plays drums in a band with a bunch of other priests!
Marge: I knew they'd try to convert you! That's what they do! Well I'm not having another twelve kids.
Homer: Marge, no one is saying twelve. (gets out a pamphlet called 'Plop till you drop') Nine, ten, tops!
Homer: Bingo? That's my favorite game. I just can't remember what to yell out when you win.
Father Sean: Bingo.
Homer: That's my favorite game. I just can't remember what to yell out when you win.
Father Sean: (sighs) How about you just say 'Yay, I won!'
Father Sean: We're having our monthly pancake dinner. Care to join us?
Homer: You've transformed breakfast into dinner… It's a miracle! (kneels and starts to pray) Log cabin, full of taste, my stomach is with thee. Blessed art thou among syrups and bless…
Sister Thomasina: No prayin' to the condiments! (whacks Homer with a yard stick)
(flashback to Father Sean and his father fighting in the street)
Father Sean's Dad: Yer just like your mother... can't take a punch.
Father Sean: I was laying in the gutter picking up me teeth when St. Peter himself appears before me. 'Sean, yah wanker', he says, 'repent of your wicked ways or sod off!'. Then he gobbed in my face and turned back into a streetlight.
Sister Thomasina: In the old days we'd use a ruler to deal with incorrigibles like you.
Bart: Thanks for the history lesson, sis.
Sister Thomasina: These days we use a yard stick! (whacks Bart with a yard stick)
Bart: I'll show you! I'll move thirty three inches away. (moves his desk back)
Sister Thomasina: A yard's thirty six! (whacks Bart again)
Marge: Bart, this could be a good new school. Oakwood Academy. Huh?
Bart: Mom, that's a school for the blind.
Marge: Think of the leg-up you'd have.
(to the huge pie he's stuffed with live rats)
Groundskeeper Willy: Quiet my pretties. Soon we'll have revenge on those who mocked me. Also on those who were kind to me. And on the parents who took time from their busy schedules to make today such a success… Ooh I hate them all!
(about to beat up Martin for being made king in the medieval festival)
Mrs Krabappel: Not so fast Nelson! You're one of King Martin's Guards… HA HA!!!
Nelson: You'll pay for this… (bows) My liege.
Marge: Homer you're a grown man and you can make your own decisions about your religion. But I didn't change Bart's diapers for five years to see him become a Catholic!
Bart: I thought there was a monster in the potty.
Bart Soldier: We believe that God's last prophet, Bart Simpson preached a message of tolerance, and love.
Bartman Soldier: We believe the holy Bartman preached a message of understanding and peace, before he was betrayed by his follower, Milhouse! And pulled apart by snow-mobiles, until he died.
Bart Soldiers: Eat my shorts!!!
Bartman Soldiers: Cowabunga!!!
(Both sides wage war)
Skinner: Now kids, since the middle ages had no compact disks or Super Mario Men, people found entertainment in abusing the village idiot. So, let history come alive.
(Kids start throwing fruit at WIllie, who is hoisted in a small cage)
Willie: Wait! Let me take out my contact lenses. (Willie is hit int he eye with a tomato) Ahhh! (Kids laugh) Pelt all you want. Revenge will be Willie's. (A stapler hits Willie in the face) Ahhhg, that was a stapler!
Father Sean: But if you do break a rule, you can always find absolution in the sacrament of confession.
Homer: Wait, wait, wait wait wait. No matter what I did, no matter how many people lost their pensions, it's forgiven like that?
Father Sean: If you truely repent, then, yes.
Homer: Oookay, let's make some magic here. I wiped a booger on your shirt, made a dog and a cat kiss, I swiped a bolted-down TV from a Holiday Inn (Cut to Homer in confessional box) I coveted the wife in Jaws 2, I lied to a waiter, I masturbated eight-million times, and I have no plans to stop masturbating in the future. (Darts out confessional door) Wahoo I'm clean! In your face Lord!
Marge: Bart, I love you. But sometimes I don't love your choices. (Sighs) Now we have to find another school for you.
Homer: Yeah, and if you get kicked out of that one, you're going straight in the army. Where you'll be sent straight to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything's possible with with Commander Koo-Koo-Bananas in charge!
This episode was nominated for the 2006 WGA Award (TV) for Animation.
Bart's Book: Who Made The Barrel? You Did.
This is the third time a Simpson family member attempts to convert to a new Religion and Marge, Ned, and Reverend Lovejoy attempt to bring that family member back. The previous episodes were The Joy of Sect and She Of Little Faith.
This is the second time in the series that Bart is expelled from school since the episode Wacking Day.
It is made clear that the Simpsons and most of the characters in Springfield are Protestant.
Originally scheduled to air April 10, 2005. It was pulled due to the death of Pope John Paul II the previous week.
Blackboard Joke: None.
Couch Gag: The family float into the living room as balloons and Snowball II pops the one that looks like Homer.
When Bart sings "Don't have a cow, man" he does it to the tune of "Hava Nagila", a traditional Jewish song.
After Homer answers a question (the answer to which was written on his arm), he says to a classmate who complains, "Welcome to the Jungle, Kevin." This alludes to the Guns 'N' Roses song "Welcome to the Jungle."
The song Quiet/Pious Riot sings is a parody of the song "Cum On Feel the Noize."
Skinner: Now kids, since the middle ages had no compact disks or Super Mario Men...
"Super Mario Men", as Skinner calls them, is an obvious reference to Nintendo's long-running Super Mario Bros. franchise.
Reverend Lovejoy: Back off, Popé Le Pew.
A quick and funny reference to the Looney Toons character Pepé Le Pew.
Lisa: It's the language of Plutarch.
Homer: Mickey Mouse's dog?
A quick and funny reference to the animated dog Pluto.
Milhouse: My shield is a Spider-Man...
A quick reference to the comic book hero Spider-Man.
Michael Flatley: Now dance you heavenly gobs!
In Marge's vision of a Catholic heaven, the residents there do a dance similar to Flatley's "Riverdance."
Episode Title: The Father, The Son, & The Holy Guest Star
The title of the episode references the Holy Trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.
Otto: Lute solo!
Otto recreates Jimi Hendrix's setting fire to his guitar, only Otto burns his lute.
Van: The Ministry Machine
A quick parody of The Mystery Machine from the cartoon show, Scooby Doo, Where Are You?
Homer: Man, you guys have got crazier rules than Blockbuster Video
A quick and funny reference to the "No Late Fees" promotion from Blockbuster in late 2004. The deal involved the price of the film being charged to your credit card if you didn't return the movie within a certain time. Occasionaly included was a "restocking fee."
Marge's Ringtone: Hawaii Five-O
The ring on Marge's phone is the theme to the late 60's show, Hawaii Five-O.
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