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Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Martin Prince, Sherri, Terri and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
When grandpa is defending Bart his last words are said underwater- but when the scene changes- the ship is still on the water.
This is one of three title puns on Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea; the two other are "The Old Man and the Lisa" and "The Old Man and the Key."
When the person changes the "Lap Dancing" sign to "Lapland Dancing" the letters L-A-P are still there but they moved to the side.
At dinner time after Bart's first day at the Retirement Castle, you can see the house at night time. But, when Homer answers the door for the delivery guy, it is clearly daytime.
The sizes of springs are very inconsistent
When Grampa talks at the very end, his mouth doesn't move.
Not one person fell off the sinking boat despite the fact that the deck was as vertical as a steep cliff.
Captain McAllister's having a glass eye is inconsistent with many past episodes, as well as his ability to see none of the elders were "lookers" earlier in this episode.
When Homer sings, he's up to 999 springs. When Marge stops him there's no flushing or singing heard, yet when he continues, he's up to 996.
When Lenny has the spring get caught in his eye, it mysteriously switches from the right eye to the left.
The sign in front of the Springfield Tire Yard says "since 1989". But in episode 45 (Flaming Moe's) a news broadcast celebrates the 25th anniversary of the Tire Yard, giving its dates as 1966-1991.
Bart: Hey, Chalmers, where are you from?
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, I was born in Queens, went to Ball State, then made the move to Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Uh, why do you ask?
(Bart is about to say something when Principal Skinner quickly puts his hand over his mouth.)
Principal Skinner: Uh, don't worry, sir. I'll teach these children some respect for their town. I'm assigning each of you 20 hours of community service.
(The children walk offstage, groaning and moaning.)
Superintendent Chalmers: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my vacation at Lake Titicaca. Try to make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy.
(Bart looks at Skinner, and Skinner waves his hands "no.")
Bart: I'm not supposed to die now! I'm supposed to die in a foolish motorcycle stunt at the age of fifteen!
Bart: But I set you free! No more nap time. No more bingo. You can do whatever you want …
Old Lady: Let's play Bingo!
Jasper: You sunk my battleship! (everybody laughs)
Grandpa: I haven't felt this relaxed and carefree since I was watch commander at Pearl Harbor.
Bart: Full speed ahead. Damn the torpedoes!
Grandpa: What'd he say? "Put on our tuxedos?"
Crazy Old Man: I want some Taquitos.
Lisa: Now we're pulling into port … and who's waiting for us at the dock? Why, it's all your childhood dogs! I see Petey, and Blackey, and Schnoodle …
Bart: Oh no! Pirates!
Bart: Ahoy Mateys, it's me, Long Bart Silver. And I'm gonna rip you a new IV hole.
Lisa: Picture yourself on a beautiful sailboat. Ah, can't you just feel the sea breeze in your hair … or scalps?
Bart: Hey, I hear a foghorn BOOOR-RRRRRING!
Nurse: Come on, Bart, we don't want to over-stimulate these people. They just had pudding.
Marge: So, Bart how was your first day of forced volunteerism?
Bart: That place sucks! The nurses don't let Grandpa do anything. They practically chew his food for him.
Homer: (struggling to chew his steak) Lucky stiff! I'm working my ass off here. (looks at Marge. who gives him a mean look) Good steak, honey!
Skinner: Milhouse, do you like the beach?
Milhouse: Who doesn't?
Skinner: Good! I want you to pick up all this medical waste that's washed up on the shore here.
Milhouse: Ow! I pricked myself!
Skinner: Well, just keep working. You'll prick yourself with the antidote sooner or later.
("Listening to the Children are the future song")
Homer: I've never wanted a beer worse in my life.
(Marge pulls a beer from her purse)
Homer: I love you, honey!
Marge: Are you talking to me, or the beer?
Homer: To you, my bubbly long-neck beechwood aged lover!
Quimby: And that's not all … we've just chosen our official Olympic Mascot.
(a big curtain is pulled, revealing Springy)
Homer: They picked Springy! In your face, Patty and Selma!
Patty: Well we still love ya, Ciggy.
Homer: A mascot contest! I'm sure to win that … unless one of you jinxes me.
Marge: No one's gonna jinx you Homer. In fact, we're rooting for you.
Bart: Yeah, go for the gold dad!
Homer: Shut up, Shut up, Shut up!
Students: Children, children,
Milhouse: Are you ready for the...
Students: ...children, whoa whoa whoa!
Lisa: The future is a...
Students: ...coming, hey hey hey!
Students: Children, children,
Children are the future!
(In the kitchen, Homer is frying some hamburgers.)
Homer: Welcome to the kitchen of tomorrow ... today! Marge, how much would you pay for a self-flipping hamburger pan?
Homer: Don't answer yet. Watch how easy it is to flip hamburgers with the help of God's greatest creation ... the spring!
(Homer has attached springs to the bottom of a pan. Homer uses them to flip it. The burgers fly up vigorously, and then land right back on the pan, splattering grease everywhere. Then the grease sets on fire. Homer screams, and starts rolling around on the kitchen floor, trying to put the fire out. Marge gets the fire extinguisher, and puts out the curtains, the pan, and Homer...in that order.)
Marge: Are you okay?
Homer: Some second-degree burns…but some first-class burgers!
Captain McCallister: (Checking out the old folks) Yarrgh, not a looker among them!
Bart: (seeing Lisa through the telescope) Ahh! Sea hag!
Bart: What are you gonna do to me?
Principal Skinner: Bart, not all Community Service is gang warfare and dangerous infection, and to illustrate that point here's where you'll be working.
(Principal Skinner points in the direction of a storefront)
Bart: The Fireworks, Candy, and Puppy dog store!?
Principal Skinner: No, no, no. Next to it.
(Jasper and Old Jewish Man are sitting outside. Grampa comes out)
Grampa: Settle a bet: Boil or mole?
(Smithers draws a sketch of Mr. Burns)
Mr. Burns: Now Smithers, you say you've painted all your navy buddies this way?
Smithers: Until I was discharged, sir.
Bart: Awww, this place used to be crawling with Russian subs. Now there's just four.
Lisa: Are you crazy? We've got the get the old folks home to the Old Folks Home!
(Bart pushes Grampa's skin back to make him look like Homer and then lets go to revert back to his normal face. Bart does this a few times.)
Bart: Grandpa, Homer, Grandpa, Homer.
Nurse: Please don't play with the faces.
Homer: ...you flush one down; it swirls around, 999 springs to flush down...
(Marge knocks on the door)
Marge: You're not flushing those springs down the toilet, are you?
Homer: Of course not!
(Marge walks away, as if to say, 'I give up)
Homer: 996 springs to flush down, 996 springs...
Blackboard Joke: Loose teeth don't need my help.
Couch Gag: The living room is now a theater with all the secondary characters on the show. The family take their seats and Homer eats from Comic Book Guy's tub of popcorn.
One of the seniors on the yacht looks like an aged John Swartzwelder, who is a writer for the show.
NRBQ performs a cover of "Can't Buy Me Love" and "Children are Our Future" was choreographed by George Meyer.
Throughout the show, Jasper says "You sunk my battleship." This is an allusion to the game Battleship. When one player's ship is "sunk" they must say the phrase "You sunk my battleship."
99 Bottles of Beer
When Homer is flushing the springs down the toilet, he is singing a variation on the song "99 Bottles of Beer."
When Homer is bouncing and doing tricks with Maggie in the springs like a basketball, he is humming the tune to "Sweet Georgia Brown". Both actions are allusions to the basketball entertainment act known as the Harlem Globetrotters.
Gone With the Wind
The movie that the old people watch where the guy is dubbed over and says "Frankly Scarlet, I love you, let's remarry," is an allusion to the movie Gone With The Wind. The line that was dubbed over was the famous line from the movie, "Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn."
The final bass riff in "Children Are The Future" was taken from the Ike & Tina Turner cover of "Proud Mary".
A Hard Day's Night
The scene where Bart frees the seniors and they "frolic" outside of the home is a parody of The Beatles' 1964 film A Hard Day's Night.
The Old Man and the Sea
The title of this episode is a play on the title of the Ernest Hemingway novel, The Old Man and the Sea. This was the second such episode, after season 8's
Old Man: You know the door was open, Chief Break Everything!
This was a spoof of the Ken Kesey novel and film One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest; at the end, the Chief breaks a window with a water fountain and runs away.
Titanic (1997 film)
Smithers draws Mr. Burns in much the same way that Jack drew Rose.
Also, the old folks' party boat, like the ship, sinks vertically with people hanging from it.
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