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Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, Kearney, Various
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Judge Constance Harm
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
Music From This Episode
"Dang Me" by Roger Miller (The song playing on the car radio at the end of the episode.)
In this episode, Judge Synder's first name is revealed to be Roy.
Judge Harm was born as a man.
Homer: Hey, knock it off! These pants cost $600.
Homer: Yeah, they're Italian.
Moe: (Points a gun at Homer) All right, hand 'em over.
Homer: Moe, what the--
Moe: Yeah, I rob now.
Homer: Say, is that our house!?
Bart: I don't think our house has a steeple.
Homer: Oh yeah. I forget things sometimes.
Judge Harm: Grand theft auto!?
Bart: It was an accident, ma'am!
Judge Harm: Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it's frosting!
Homer: (Angrily) What did she say about cupcakes?
Bart: You there! Put your hands up!
Ned: Me? Okay.
Bart: Now, drop your pants!
Ned: But my hands are up!
Bart: Hula out of them!
Ned: Alright, officer.
Judge Harm: Well, I thought Dad was the probelm, but apparently Mom is no prize pig herself. It's a miracle poor Bartholomew isn't robbing banks and chasing sweet Lady H.
Bart: I'm a latchkey kid.
Lisa: You are not!
Bart: Come on, Dad. I got to go to the bathroom.
Homer: Oh, I just got comfortable! Use the bottle.
Marge: No, I don't want you using the bottle. That's what hobos do.
Bart: Come on, Homer!
Marge: Aw geez, Homer, just take him to the bathroom.
Homer: Fine! I don't know why we even have a bottle! Somebody tell me!
Bart: The town keeps getting bigger. Will there always be enough electricity?
Homer: (Laughs) Ah, son, you know that's none of your business.
Officer: Sir, you are not a size 4.
Homer: I used to be! (Starts crying)
Judge Harm: You have got a boy here who is crying out for adult supervision!
Homer: I couldn't agree more. Perhaps some sort of court-appointed babysitter or au pair?
Judge Harm: Sorry, bub, that crow won't caw.
Homer: It won't?
Homer: I love our court days.
Marge: It's about the only thing we do as a family anymore.
Milhouse: If we're late for school, we'll miss our free federal breakfast.
Bart: Big deal. It's just saltines and fig paste.
Milhouse: Ew, saltines!
Judge Harm: (to Bart) According to this, your father was driving you to school. Then where was he when you stole the police car?
Homer: Uh, your honor? I was chasing the KBBL Party Penguin Price Patrol.
Judge Harm: You abandoned your son to win forty dollars!?
Homer: And a Blue Oyster Cult medallion (Takes out the medallion) Cool.
Judge Harm: And that was more important than keeping your son out of trouble?
Homer: Your honor, if I may sing a little bit of, "Don't Fear The Reaper", I think you'll agree that--
Judge Harm: I'm familiar with B.O.C.!
(Homer, tethered to Bart, enters Moe's.)
Moe: Hey, hey, no kids in the bar!
Homer: Since when?
Moe: Oh, the heat's been on since them Bush girls were in here.
(Lisa comments on Homer being tethered to Bart.)
Lisa: Creative sentencing is common these days. That's why Bill Clinton is our new mailman.
Judge Harm: Not only that, you are horrible parents, you're also violent criminals. I'm going to have you two locked up 'til frogs do fractions.
Bart: Your Honor, may I say something?
Judge Harm: Well, it is highly unorthodox, so no.
Bart: Please, your Honor?
Judge Harm: Oh, I can't resist that look. You remind of me when I was a little boy.
Bart: Your Honor, it's not easy being my parents. I'm always screwing up in school and getting in trouble with the law. But if I grow up to be a halfway decent person, I know it will be because of my Mom and Dad. Everyone else might give up on me, but my parents never will.
Lisa: Thats my brother.
Snake: Did she say she used to be a dude?
Kirk Van Houten: Judge, please don't send my boy to juvie. He's just weak, both morally and in the upper body.
Judge Harm: I hereby order you to be tethered to your son.
Judge Harm: Tethered. Report to room 5.
Homer: Room 5?
(Marge has cut the tether and triggered the alarm and Judge Harm's image appears out of the tether.)
Judge Harm: That's right it's me, Judge Harm, through the magic of fiber optics.
Homer: Hey, hey, hey, h-how about that? Huh, huh?
Judge Harm: Quiet, tubsy. You violated my order.
Homer: But Constance, it only happened because--
Judge Harm: Hey, hey, if I want a cock and bull story, I'll read Hemingway.
(Watching Judge Harm on television.)
Marge: Of course she's never had children, look at how high and firm her breasts are!
First Appearance: Judge Constance Harm
Blackboard Joke: Nobody reads these anymore.
Couch Gag: The family jumps off of a sailboat, and when the camera pulls back it is revealed that the family jumped off the sailboat from the portrait above the couch. The family lands in the couch soaking wet and Homer turns on the TV with a remote control.
Wedding Bell Blues
The song playing on the radio in the beginning of the episode is "Wedding Bell Blues" by Laura Nyro, though Homer changes the lyrics slightly.
The Parent Trap
The title of this episode is a parody of the title of the 1961 film, The Parent Trap.
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