Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Krabappel tells Skinner that the only books they have are ones that were banned by other schools. Those books were:
- Tek War by William Shatner
- "Theory of Evolution" by Charles Darwin
- "Sexus" by Henry Miller
- "40 Years of Playboy" by Hugh Hefner
- Steal This Book by Abbie Hoffman
- Hop on Pop by Dr. Seuss
- The Satanic Verses (Junior Illustrated Edition) by Salman Rushdie
Jimbo's mom appears in this episode.
The sign on the rich school's bus reads "Veritas et Scientia," which is Latin for "Truth and Knowledge." The fact that they use Latin is for effect: it makes the rich school seem more snobby.
Goof: We see Jasper wearing sandals, and both of his feet are clearly visible. Both look normal, but only five episodes later we find out in "Who shot Mr. Burns (2)" (episode 7-2, #129) that Jasper has a wooden leg. There is no mention of a recent amputation then, implying he's had it for a while.
Lisa: My teacher's a nightmare. Three kids got sick from inhaling his ointment fumes, he confiscated everything made of tin, and then he sent us home early because he got his beard caught in the pencil sharpener!
(Moe is taking over as the substitute teacher for Mrs. Krabappel's class during the strike)
Moe: OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or "here". Er, no, say "present". Ahem, Anita Bath?
(The students in the classroom laugh)
Moe: All right, settle down. Anita Bath here?
Moe: All right, fine, fine. Maya Buttreeks!
(Still more laughs)
Moe: Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get it, I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I can't help that!
(Moe runs out of the classroom crying as Bart crosses Moe's name off of a list of what are now former substitute teachers)
Marge: There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome.
Bart: Hello mother dear!
Bart: You know, I heard Skinner say the teachers will crack any minute. (the message is passed by about 10 people)
Man: Skinner said the teachers will crack any minute purple monkey dishwasher!
Mrs. Krabappel: Well! We'll show him. Especially for that purple monkey dishwasher remark.
Lisa: Luckily I'm prepared for this so I'm not too worried. (presses button on her strike kit)
Strike Kit: Sit up straight. No talking. Is that gum? Is that gum? Is that gum?
Ralph: Miss Hoover, are you on stri-
Miss Hoover: (in car) Go home, children!
Bart: Basically, Krabappel said you'd give the teachers everything they want.
Principal Skinner: She did?
Bart: Yeah. She said you'd fold faster than Superman on laundry day.
Bart: Ow! My bones are so brittle. But I always drink plenty of.... (looks at carton) Malk?
Mrs. Krabappel: I don't care what you say, I can taste the newspaper.
Principal Skinner: Posh. Shredded newspapers have much needed roughage and essential links. Besides, you didn't notice the old gym mats!
Lunchlady Doris: There's very little meat in these gym mats.
Principal Valiant: Here's the admission, plus something for you. See that they get a little extra education would you.
Ticket Lady: Yes sir, Principal Valiant!
Principal Skinner: He thinks he's so hot ever since he swept the "Princi" awards.
Tour Guide: People don't realize that these cannons are very sensitive, and the slightest jolt could set them off!
(Otto's school bus screams around the corner and hits the cannon)
Of course, for safety reasons, we don't keep them loaded.
Superintendent Chalmers: Leopold?
(Leopold enters. Students are frightened of his presence.)
Leopold: All right you, listen up you little freaks. The fun stops here. You're gonna have to shut your stinking traps and behave, damn it. This is one substitute you're not gonna screw with...
(A student gulps.)
Leopold: (quickly changing to a pleasant demeanor) ...Marge Simpson!
Homer: Look at this prepetual motion machine that Lisa built. It just keeps getting faster and faster.
War Actor: (noticing Bart watching them after Skinner couldn't pay entrance fee) Hey they're learning for free!
Announcer: Get 'em!
Lisa: I can't take this anymore! Please, mom! Grade me! Grade me!
(Marge writes an A on a paper and gives it to Lisa)
Lisa: Thanks, Mom.
Bart: With your book smarts, and my ability to exploit people with book smarts, we can figure out a clever plan to get them back together.
Ned: Well, I guess this is a case where we'll have to agree to disagree.
Principal Skinner: I don't agree to that.
Ms. Krabappel: Neither do I.
Marge: Honey, maybe you should relax a little.
Lisa: Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or…. Only two synonyms!? Oh my God, I'm losing my perspicacity!
Homer: Well it's always in the last place you look.
Marge: Bart, leave that crowbar at home. You know I don't like you prying and jimmying.
Homer: I've had just about enough of your Vasser bashing, young lady!
Homer: Anyone can miss Canada... all tucked away down there.
Jasper: Talking out of turn? That's a paddlin'. Lookin' out the window? That's a paddlin'. Staring at my sandals? That's a padddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe? Oh, you better believe that's a paddlin'.
Homer: (to Lisa on her perpetual motion machine) In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
Homer: Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't go on strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Blackboard Joke: I do not have power of attorney over first graders.
Couch Gag: The family walk into the TV room from all directions, like the people in Escher's Relativity picture.
At the battlefield, there is a sign indicating that the battlefield is owned by Diz-Nee (There's Profit To Be Had!), which sounds like Disney though according to "Old Money", Diz-Nee does not not have anything to do with Disney. This made fun of Disney's attempt in 1993 to tear down a Civil War battlefield in Virginia for an America-themed theme park (luckily, because of the wonderful efforts from historians, the concept didn't get off the ground).
The part in which Bart flies a kite in the middle of the night is a parody of "Village of the Damned," where the children are exceptionally well-behaved, but alien and emotionless.
Principal Skinner: Well, the kids have to learn about Tek War sooner or later.
Tek War is the title of a series of science fiction novels by William Shatner.
Welcome Back, Kotter
One of the names on the list of substitute teachers Bart has chased off is, Gabe Kaplan, the star of the 70's hit show Welcome Back, Kotter in which he played a teacher trying to teach inner city kids.
Searching for Bobby Fischer
The scene of Bart playing three chess games at once is a reference to the 1993 film Searching for Bobby Fischer in which the main character does the same thing (although he wins the matches).
Banker: I don't have your money. It's at Bill's house and... Fred's house.
A reference to the 1946 film It's a Wonderful Life when Jimmy Stewart's character is at the bank and telling everyone that he doesn't have their money. The banker in this episode even sounds like Jimmy Stewart.
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