Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Maude Flanders, Helen Lovejoy, Miss Hoover, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
When Homer is greeting the old people when he is hiding out at the Retirement Castle, he greets someone named Asa. Asa Phelps died in the "…Hellfish" episode, unless this is a different Asa.
The plot for this episode appears on a collector card in level 5 of The Simpsons: Hit & Run video game.
Captain McAllister says "I'm not attractive" but close captioning says "I'll go quietly".
Close captioning at auction has words for "My Guy" but only the music to that song is heard.
The wheels on Homer's wheelchair got bigger once he was seated.
(Homer, wearing an elephant mask, tries to stop Apu's wedding)
Homer: I am the god, Ganesh! This wedding angers me. It will break up or all will die.
Apu: (embarrassed) Oh God!
Homer: Please listen to me! (makes elephant noise)
Indian: (in Hindi) You are not Ganesh! Ganesh is graceful!
(he chases after Homer)
Homer: Stop chasing Ganesh, you're just going to get more wrath!
(After seeing a mouse being crushed by the elephant.)
Apu: Lucky mouse.
Apu: Can you believe it? Tradition forbids me to even look at the woman who I am going to spend the rest of my life with. Has the whole world gone crazy?
Homer: Nope. Just your screwy country.
Homer: Moe, what do you recommend for severe depression?
Moe: Booze, booze and more booze.
Apu: But the fact that I have staged this ridiculous farce proves to you how much I do not want to go through with this arranged marriage.
Apu's Mother: Oh, I didn't realise how strongly you felt Apu! Now wipe that smile off your face. We have a wedding to plan!
Woman: Another bag of potato chips, Mr. Talmidge?
Homer: Also, I think I'm getting a bed sore. What do you have to do to get turned round here (she begins turning him). Hey, what's Lucky hooked up to?
Woman: It's a respirator. It breathes for him.
Homer: And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker. And how come everyone has a bed pan and I have to walk all the way over there!
Woman: You mean there?
(the toilet is right next to him)
(Homer is saying hello to the old folks)
Homer: Jasper. Gladys. Beatrice. Looking good, Hatty! Asel. Asel.. Asel!.. Asel!!!!. Ahh To hell with her! Ester. Ameil. Prudence. Clemnial. Increase. Dad.
Apu: Again, Marge, I am sorry for the inconvenience. You are a real sport.
Marge: How long will she be here? Homer was a little sketchy on the details.
Apu: Oh, it should be no more than a couple of days. She really truly hates you.
Homer: But you can't leave! We scamming an old lady at our place and I need a place to hang out!
Moe: I'm sorry Homer, but I've been planning this vacation for years. I'm finally going to see Easter Island!
Homer: Easter Island, The place with the giant heads?
Moe: With the giant what now?
Marge: Hello, So what brings you to America?
Apu's mother: I have come to see the woman who Apu is using to willingly disgrace his family and spit on his culture.
Marge: Well here I am!
Homer: (Sees Apu pull up outside.) Marge, I need a small favor! Over the next few days will you pretend to be Apu's wife?
Homer: Please, it's just for as long as his mother's living here!
(Homer is scratching lottery tickets)
Homer: Loser… Loser… Loser… $500! Apu! Wake up! I want to buy a yodel and this lottery ticket. I have this much.
Apu: I am sorry but you do not have enough for both.
Homer: (groans and thinks) I'll take the yodel.
Apu: I can't get married, I'm just beginning to enjoy my bachelorhood, what should I do?
Homer: Tell her the truth; you are not ready to get married!
Apu: No, you don't know mother. She will never quit until I am married!
Homer: Then tell her you already got married!
Apu: No, no, no I cannot lie to my mother.
Homer: Then get married. Phew! What do you want from me?
Apu: (Reading a love note) This is just a note to say I think about you everyday. And when I get you all alone...Oh! It gets kinda personal here.
Homer: I see. (Reads the rest) Wow!
Apu: Here's one from my mother.
Homer: Let's see what she wrote!
Krusty: Our last bachelor likes women who take their clothes off for money! Let's hear it for Moe!
Krusty: Come on! He likes sunsets what more do you want.
Sea Captain: Yahrrr! I'm not attractive!
Kent: Now let's here it for our celebrity auctioneer, Krusty.
Kent: The Clown (crowd applauds)
Lisa: Dad, those peanuts aren't for you, they're for the elephant
Homer: Screw him! (the elephant picks him up and shakes him) Aah, put me down...Ganesh commands you!
Marge: Oh, Bart and Lisa, you remember your father, Apu, well this is your father Apu's mother.
Bart and Lisa: …Ooooh Hi.
Homer: What's the big problem?
Apu: Don't you see? She is here to meet my wife? The wife that I told her I had--Aaah, I do not have a wife!
Homer: Then maybe you shouldn't have told her you did.
Marge: Well! Look who's the ladies man!
Apu: Come on I…
(Erupts into embarrassing laughter)
Lenny: Have you seen Apu lately? He looks terrible!
Carl: Yeah, rumor has it that Marge threw him out.
Barney: Tough break. She's a beautiful lady.
Moe: You got that straight Barn.
Marge: I've been looking over this list for the ceremony. I've got the extra wine glasses but I'm still short a Tandoori oven, an elephant and four castrati.
Bart: What's a castrati?
Marge: I don't know but I'm sure it's something spicy.
Homer: Seems to me… Well you could always move into my house and tell your mom that Marge is your wife.
Apu: Is it me or does your plans always have some horrid web of lies?
Homer: It's you.
Moe: No pansies for me.
Lisa: It's the tradition in India.
Moe: Yeah alright, it'll cover the gravy stains.
(Bart kicks him in the butt.)
Homer: Hi, Dad! I just came over to spend some quality time with my dad!
Grampa: Baloney! You came over to put me in a home!
Homer: You're already in a home.
Grampa: Ohhh... how could you?
(Apu just revealed he lied to his mother)
Homer: You know what you could do, Apu ...
Apu: Shut up.
Homer: You could fake your own death ...
Apu: Shut up!
Homer: All you need is a bomb...
Apu: I can't believe you don't shut up!
(Bart and Lisa see Apu riding an elephant)
Bart: Wow! I wish I had an elephant!
Lisa: You did. His name was Stampy, you loved him.
Bart: Oh yeah!
Kirk Van Houten: You better have enough to pay my alimony, Luann!
Lisa: Why is that woman still living with us?
In the scene where Bart is burning hymns to make the fire sacred, he was originally burning pages from the Bible, but the editor thought that was a little over the top and had it changed.
According to the Nahasapeemapetilon family chart, Apu has two brothers (including Sanjay), and he's the oldest out of his brothers.
Blackboard Joke: None.
Couch Gag: The couch in the TV room is a wall. Bart comes in and spray paints the family on the wall, then signs his "masterpiece" with "El Barto".
This is Luann's last speaking episode, enjoy her voice for now, until she returns in season 14's "A Star is Re-Born Again".
In the scene where Apu is riding on an elephant, Bart says that he wishes he had one. Lisa says, "You did. His name was Stampy, you loved him." Stampy was from Bart's Elephant.
Manjula is introduced.
The scene where Homer and the old man race in wheelchairs and their wheels clash is similar to the chariot scene of Ben Hur.
The Foreigner song "Hot Blooded" plays over Apu's bachelor binge.
The name of a hair salon seen in this episode, "Hairy Shearers," is a take on The Simpsons voice actor Harry Shearer's name.
The episode title is a play on the 1947 Peter Godfrey film "The Two Mrs. Carrolls."
Apu's possible new haircuts resemble:
Rachel from Friends.
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