Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Lionel Hutz, Troy McClure and Additional Voices
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
Goof: Nelson imagines himself weighing the brains of the Three Stooges, and claims that Larry's brain weighs 3.2 kilograms. However, the average human brain weighs approximately 1.5 kilograms (or 3 pounds). Either the writers mixed up their figures, or the Stooges had brains significantly larger than your average human being.
Goof: When Skinner is introducing the robot to the class, Bart's desk is clearly in the middle of the room. When Bart throws the apple to the man in the tree, he's sitting next to the window.
When Homer is playing the "Let's Make a Baby" video game: the announcer says "You are out of sperm". The closed captioning reads, "Your score is zero".
When the Simpsons are at the museum, Bart says he's going to go toss the virtual salad, but the closed captioning says "I'm going to crawl inside the Invisible Frenchman".
Principal Skinner: We have a very special visitor today, but he's no ordinary visitor. In fact, you might say--
Bart: He's a robot. We saw him on the way in.
Principal Skinner: Thank you, Bart.
Bart: Whoa, mama, the electric chair! (sniffs) Smell that, Ralph? That's the smell of justice.
Ralph: Smells like hot dogs.
Bart: Wow, look at all these toilets! They're just inches your bed! Talk about luxury…
Bart: Way to go, Ralph!
Lisa: Ralph? But the rocket was my idea!
Bart: But asking you was Ralph's idea!
Homer: You're the man, Ralph!
Bart: Come on, a man's life is at stake. We need to get a message to the prison. Think! THINK!
Ralph: Lisa's a good thinker.
Bart: That's it! Ralph, you're a genius!
Ralph: There's the key! (a rat takes it) Aagh! The pointy kitty took it!
Ralph: Wanna play stuffed animal parade?
Bart: Maybe later. Come on, Ralph, your dad's a cop! There must be some cool stuff around here, bullets, dead body photos, what have you.
Ralph: He keeps that stuff in his closet. But he says I'm not allowed in there.
Bart: Did he say I'm not allowed in there?
Bart: (pause) Well, I'm going in anyway!
Jimbo: Videotaping this crime spree is the best idea we ever had!
Ralph: Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours.
Ralph: I've been here two hours, and Bart still hasn't finded me!
Homer: (excited) Then me and my friend were about to press it, but the man said not to press it, but we pressed it anyway! And we ran and we hid in this giant tire, we had… and my other friend was already there.
Marge: All right, all right, now, you're over stimulated. Let's get some beer in you, and then it's right to bed.
Homer: Woo hoo! (running around) Beer, beer, beer, bed, bed, bed!
Marge: Is that normal?
Wiggum: No, he's just playing 'Wiggle Puppy'! That's a dog he made up who flies by wagging his tail. Heh, I tell you, that dog has had some amazing adventures.
Bart: (typing on a keyboard) Hey, how do you get this thing to play blackjack?
Frink: Stop that, you're hurting it.
Bart: So how is it supposed to work?
Bart: Boring. Am I on the Internet?
Frink: No! You can only access the…
Bart: Boring. What's that fire for?
Troy: Welcome to the Springfield Knowledgeum. I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as 'Welcome to Springfield Airport', and 'Where's Nordstrom?' While you're enjoying our hall of wonders, your car will be unfortunately be subject to repeated (voice fades out)
Homer: What'd he say? What about my car?
Edna: Now, whose calculator can tell me what seven times eight is?
Milhouse: Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Low battery?
Edna: (sighs) Whatever.
Ralph: Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did.
Leprechaun: (to Ralph) You've done grand, laddie! Now you know what you have to do! Burn the house down! Burn 'em all!
Mr. Burns: Smithers! There's a rocket in my pocket!
Smithers: You don't have to tell me, sir!
Bart: Got any threes?
Ralph: Go fish!
Bart: See, here's the problem Ralph, you have several threes.
Ralph: Go fish!
TV Announcer: We now return to The Return of the Pink Panther Returns.
Homer (singing): Do the message! Da da da da da da da da da--
Bart: So long! I'm gonna go sleep over at Ralph's.
Marge: Oh, see I knew you'd find something you liked about him.
Bart: Oh, I found something alright!
Homer: Da da da da da da da da da, da da da da da da da da da...after the beep!
(Ralph gives Bart a tour of his back yard.)
Ralph: This is my swing set. This is my sand box! I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. That's where I saw the leprechaun. He tells me to burn things.
Ralph: Your hair is tall, and pretty!
Marge: Why thank-you Ralph, you're such a fine young gentleman.
(She holds his shoulder)
Ralph: Help! She's touching my special area!
Bart: Hey, I'm gonna go toss the virtual salad.
Lisa: I'm gonna read the giant book.
Homer: I'm gonna try the sex education computers!
Lisa: What a whimsical building. Who says science can't be fun?
Bart: Me. I smell a museum.
Homer: Yeah, good things don't end with -eum, they end with -mania, or –teria.
Robot: Default setting--Crush, kill, destroy!
Principal Skinner: (Being choked by the robot.) Children, help! He's killing me!
Robot: Greetings, Earth children.
Lewis: Where are you from?
Krusty: (to Sex Ed Game) Hey, baby, remember me?
Security Guard: Why do I always shout first? Just gives them a chance to run away. Well, I'm an idiot.
In the end credits it says that this episode was dedicated to the memory of Sunni Walton O'Neil.
Blackboard Joke: I was told not to do this.
Couch Gag: Bart spray paints his family on the wall and signs it with "El Barto."
Star Wars: The Mars exhibit in the museum has "Mars" written in the exact same font/style as "Wars" in the Star Wars movies, only with the W turned upside down.
Ralph: I found a moon rock in my nose!
Bart: Houston, we have a booger.
This is a play on Tom Hanks' famous line from Apollo 13, "Houston, we have a problem."
Dolph: Hey look, it's dork and dorker.
A quick reference to the 1994 movie Dumb and Dumber, starring Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels.
The toy store JRR Toyskins sounds like the author of "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of The Rings" trilogy JRR Tolkien.
Robbie the Automaton: Crush! Kill! Destroy!
Robbie starts to act like the IDAK android from Lost in Space when his human controller is knocked out.
The title is a parody of the nursery rhyme called "This Little Piggy."
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