Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
Maude Flanders, Helen Lovejoy, Miss Hoover, and others
Music From This Episode
"Dream Police" by Cheap Trick (Sang by Apu while he is washing his car.)
The non-TV-friendly message on Homer's "Ayatollah Assaholla" T-shirt is always partially obscured.
When President Bush's memoirs are shredded by the boat motor, if you freeze the scene with a shred of paper with writing on it, it will say, "VP Quayle ca't (part shredded) an embarrassment." This is a little joke from the animators of VP Quayle's unsuccessful nature of the Vice Presidency.
George Bush: Don't understand lemonade myself, not my forte.
Homer: For the last time, Bush, apologize for spanking my boy!
George Bush: No. You tell him to apologize for destroying my memoirs!
Homer: Bart, you never told me you destroyed his memoirs. (to Bush) Never!
Homer: It's time to hit him where he lives!
Bart: His house?
George Bush: Alright mister...you want trouble, you're going to get trouble!
Homer: Oh I want trouble, alright!
George Bush: Then you're going to get trouble!
Homer: No, you're gonna get trouble!
George Bush: Well that's good, because I want trouble!
Homer: Then we're agreed. There'll be trouble!
George Bush: Oh, yeah! Lots of trouble!
Homer: Trouble it is.
George Bush: For you!
Homer: For m... D'oh!
Homer: Hey! Bush! Get down here!
Guard: 'Scuse me sir, where you going?
Homer: I'm going to punch George Bush in the face.
Guard: Okay, is he expecting you?
Grampa: Big deal! When I was a pup we got spanked by Presidents 'til the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions.
Marge: Grampa, I know in your day spanking was common, but Homer and I just don't believe in that kind of punishment!
Grampa: And that's why your no-good kids are running wild!
(He points at Lisa, who is sitting, reading a book.)
Bart: Whoa man!
George Bush: Whoa, nothing. I'm gonna do something your daddy should have done a long time ago.
(Bush lightly spanks Bart)
George Bush: Now go home and think about what you've done, young man.
Homer: He spanked you!? You? Bart Simpson!?
Bart: I begged him to stop but he said it was for the good of the nation!
Mrs. Bush: You know, it's time for him to get up and work on his memoirs. Why don't you go wake him?
(Bart goes upstairs and blows a giant horn)
George Bush: Great Scott don't touch that, that's the alpine horn Helmut Kohl gave me!
George Bush: Well let's see now. What do you folks have here, huh? Hmmm…a "Krusty Burger"... that doesn't sound to appetizing, what kinda stew do you have today?
Squeaky Voiced Teen: Uuuh... we don't have stew.
(Homer honks his horn continuously.)
Ray: Sir, why don't you just have the cheeseburger?
George Bush: That's really more of a weekend thing, Ray.
Homer: (still honking) Hey, jerk, move your fanny!
George Bush: That guy's louder than World War II. Ray, go and see what the rhubarb is, will ya?
Ray: (to Homer) Sir, could you pop your hood?
(Loosens some wires making his horn stop working.)
Homer: (yelling after Ray) Hey! My taxes paid for that horn!
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong bush. (Chuckles)
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer, the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Disco Stu: Ahe-hem. Disco Stu likes... disco music!
Homer: And for the man who has everything...a tie rack motor!
Principal Skinner: I'll take that!
(Disco Stu and a friend spot Homer's misspelled "Disco Stu" jacket.)
Guy: Stu! You should buy that!
Disco Stu: Hey, Disco Stu doesn't advertise!
Marge: Are you interested in that motorized tie rack Principal Skinner?
Principal Skinner: Hmm...it's awfully loud.
Marge: Well...you could always take the motor out, and use it as an ordinary tie rack!
Principal Skinner: Hm, but now the ties are motionless. And those at the back are virtually inaccessible. Well, it's a new point that I only have one tie to begin with. I believe I'll pass
(Principal Skinner leaves and then returns a few seconds later.)
Principal Skinner: Have you sold that tie rack yet?
Principal Skinner: I'll take it.
Ned: Well sir, looks like we've got us some nice items at table Glick! Like this...what the heck-a-roonie is this, Mrs. Glick?
Mrs. Glick: It's a candy dish, Ned. Ninety dollars!
Ned: Uh-huh...well I uh...I guess you could put a lot of nice things in there!
Mrs. Glick: No! Just candy, Ned. Ninety dollars!
Bart: That fancy house will never sell. Nobody who could afford it would wanna live in this neighborhood.
Homer: Hey. What's wrong with this neighborhood? Big shots! Too good to buy a house here, snobby?
Bart: Who are you talking to, Homer?
Homer: The guy who doesn't live there.
Apu: Oh! Howdy neighbor! May I spray you with the hose in a playful fashion?
Homer: Eh... spray the boy.
Homer: Good old Evergreen Terrace... the swankiest street in the classiest part of pressboard estates.
Announcer: This year everyone's a buzz about one thing...the absence of Mark Rodkin...Oh wait, there he is.
Homer: Marge, I'm bored.
Marge: Why don't you read something?
Homer: Because I'm trying to reduce my boredom.
Marge: Well you could hand out these flyers for the neighborhood rummage sale? You get some fresh air and exercise!
Homer: Eeeeh, I'll do it anyway.
Homer: So I thought to myself, "What would God do in this situation?"
Bart: (chuckles) Locusts. They'll drive him nuts.
Homer: It's all in the Bible, son: it's the prankster's bible.
George Bush: Well, howdily doodily yourself, there, Ned. This is my wife Barbara. I call her Bar. Would you like some lemonade?
Ned: Tip top notch!
George Bush: Okily dokily!
Ned: Thankily dankily!
George Bush: Scrump-diddley-eriffic!
Both: Fine and dandy like sour candy!
Homer: Alright, his story checks out. Marge, would you love me more if I were President? 'Cause I'll do it if it'll make you happy.
George Bush: But Bar, his hands are probably all covered with mud and--
(Bart shows him clean hands)
George Bush: (Grumbling under his breath) Probably stole a napkin.
George Bush: They're presidential pajamas. You have to be president. And you're not president.
Bart: Yes, I am.
George Bush: What--no you're not! Bar!
Marge: President Bush is driving on our lawn! He must be lost.
Homer: He's not lost.
("Two bad neighbors" banner hangs from Bush's house, with a poorly spray painted figures of Homer and Bart on it)
Dr. Hibbert: I don't understand. Are you saying you and Barbara are bad neighbors?
George Bush: No! That's not Bar and me, it's them!
Ned: Who, Maude and me?
George Bush: No, the man and his boy. You know, the- the boy is named Bart. I don't know the name of the man. Bar! What's the name of the man?
Barbara Bush: I'm not getting involved, George.
George Bush: Look, just never mind. I thought the banner was pretty straight forward, but I'll just take it down.
(George Bush shows Bart a photo album.)
Bart: Who's that, George?
George Bush: That's me with Charlton Heston. He was--
Bart: Who's that, George?
George Bush: Er...see, you wouldn't know him. That's Bob Mosbacher. He was secretary of--
Bart: That's a dumb name. Who's that, George?
George Bush: Maybe he thinks "Bart" is a dumb--
Bart: How many times were you president, George?
George Bush: You know, in my day, little boys didn't call their elders by their first name.
Bart: Yeah? Well, welcome to the 20th century, George!
Homer: A thousand bottle rockets and the president doing toe touches.
Bart: Get one up his butt, it's a million points!
Gerald Ford: Say, Homer, do you like football?
Homer: Do I ever!
Gerald Ford: Do you like nachos?
Homer: Yes, Mr. Ford.
Gerald Ford: Well, why don't you come over and watch the game and we'll have nachos, and then some beer.
(Homer and Ford cross the street together.)
Homer: Jerry, I think you and I are going to get along just--
(They both trip in Ford's driveway)
Homer & Ford: D'oh!
Homer: Marge, you can't sell my rhinestone gun. I need it to finish my jacket!
(He shows Marge a denim jacket that says "Disco Stu" on the back).
Marge: Who's Disco Stu?
Homer: Oh, I was trying to spell "Disco Stud," but I ran out of room.
According to Wes Archer, in the DVD commentary, he once toilet papered George Bush Sr.'s house when he was a kid, before Bush was President.
Early in The Simpsons run, President Bush had criticized the series – and Bart Simpson in particular – for contributing to the moral decline of youth. Bush finally gets to confront the young troublemaker one-on-one in this episode.
In 2007, "Two Bad Neighbors" was named by Vanity Fair as the series' fifth best episode.
First Appearance: Disco Stu
Blackboard Joke: None.
Couch Gag: Marge, Maggie, Lisa and Bart's head are mounted on the wall and Homer is a rug on the floor. A big game hunter walks into the living room, sits down on the couch, puts his gun down, and light his pipe.
George Bush: Here's a little trick I learned in the CIA...
Bush uses a trick he "learned in CIA". In real life, Bush was director of the CIA from January 30, 1976 to January 20, 1977.
During the rummage sale, Homer's singing to get people to go to table five is a play on the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive".
Grampa: Grover Cleveland spanked me on two nonconsecutive occasions.
Grover Cleveland was the only president in U.S. history to serve two non-consecutive terms. Cleveland was the 22nd and the 24th president.
Dennis the Menace
Many elements from Dennis the Menace appear in this episode:
• Both are neighbors to the main characters (Bush is to Simpson as Wilson is to Mitchell).
• In his attempt to make friends with President Bush, Bart always visits the former president, but ends up causing trouble (e.g., breaking things, getting people mad at the ex-Commander in Chief when Bart repeats what he said). Much like Dennis in his constant visits of Mr. Wilson.
• Both Mr. Wilson and President Bush – who by the way, share the same first name of George – see the boys as tormenters and are constantly telling them to get lost.
• Both Barbara Bush and Mrs. Wilson think highly of Bart and Dennis, respectively.
• The president and Mr. Wilson raise flower gardens (primarily orchids).
• Bart visits George and greets him with "Hello, Mr. Bush." That is what Dennis greets Mr. Wilson with the same greeting.
George Bush: I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet!
This is a reference to a mishap in 1992 where George Bush threw up on the prime minister of Japan while attending a world trade conference banquet in Tokyo.
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