The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 5

Kim Basinger: Let's get him.
Alec Baldwin: And this time, it's personal. What? It is personal. He's got our underpants!

Homer: Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.

Homer: Well I'll always have my prank calls. Hello, old lady from Titanic... you stink!

Kim: I'm really looking forward to seeing Homer again. He has the most interesting odours.

Alec: (Referring to Homer's movie idea.) Aw, maybe I shoulda made his movie.
Kim: Yeah it wasn't that bad. I mean the script might have worked if you got rid of the talking pie.

Homer: When was the last time Barbara Streisand cleaned out your garage? And when it's time to do the dishes...where's Ray Bolger? I'll tell ya! (shouting) Ray Bolger...is lookin' out for Ray Bolger!

Homer: Only five, wait, ten dollars. You heard right! Twenty dollars!

Kirk: Hey, is it too late to see the movie stars?
Moe: Nah, no, just, ah, hop that fence, sneak up, and peek in the window there.
Kirk: Alright!
(He goes up to the fence, ready to climb in it and gets shocked)
Moe: (Laughs) I never get tired of that.

Lisa: I washed the dog today.
Homer: Was it the dog from the Beethoven movies?
Lisa: Of course not!
Homer: Aww ... our dog isn't famous, and you kids aren't exactly John and Joan Cusack.

Captain McCallister: Yarrr. I loved Splash Mr. Howard. It was totally...yarrr!
Smithers: Miss Basinger, those red pumps you wore in LA Confidential were fabulous...where can I get a pair for my um...mother?

Guy: Tell the people Homer, they have a right to know about the celebrities in the house.
Homer: --the hell are you?
Guy: What do you care? I'm telling you what you want to hear.

Homer: Oh! There's that movie script I wrote… where did you find it?
Alec: On my pillow
Homer: The important thing is… it's got the perfect part for you… either one of you. It's about a killer robot driving instructor, who travels back in time for some reason. Ron Howard's attached to direct!
Ron: I am not!
Homer: Well. He expressed an interest.
Ron: No I didn't!
Homer: Did too!
Ron: I did not!
Homer: You lie!
Alec: Yeah, Homer, most movie scripts are 120 pages. This has only seventeen. And several pages just have drawings of the time machine.

Homer: Ronny, are you also my close friend?
Ron Howard: Do I smell Vodka and Wheat Grass?
Homer: It's called a lawnmower. I invented it, want one?
Ron Howard: Yeah, okay.

Alec Baldwin: Nobody knows we're in Springfield, and we wanna keep it that way.
Kim Basinger: Will you promise to keep our secret?
Homer: Absolutely, if you promise to keep mine!
Alec: Okay. What is it?
Homer: I can't read.
Kim: But you just read that card from the grocery agency.
Homer: I recognized the logo!

(While parasailing Homer crashes into Apu's sand castle on the beach.)
Homer: Hi Apu!
Apu: Oh dear, you've ruined my work, you flying fat man!

Homer: Oh, 4 AM! Now I'll never get back to...
(He immediately falls asleep and starts making voices in his sleep)

Studio Executive: (To Ron Howard) What else you got?
Ron Howard: Well, there is this one thing. It's about a killer-robot driving instructor that travels back in time for some reason.
Studio Executive: I'm listening.
Ron Howard: Okay, Okay, well, you see, this robot, he's got a heart-breaking decision to make about whether his best friend lives...or dies.
Studio Executive: (Shrugging) Aah--
Ron Howard: His best friend's a talking pie!
Studio Executive: Sold! Howard, you've done it again!
(He hands over sacks of money.)

Alec Baldwin: Homer was a pretty good guy, and we just tossed him out like a Golden Globe Award. I've got to admit, I miss the way he used to tuck us in, and kiss us on the forehead.
Kim Basinger: Forehead?

(In Homer's dream with Homer and his son "Bart-Boo" as bears, and Ned Flanders as a ranger)
Bart-Boo: Homie. I don't think it's very nice to maul Mr. Ranger.
Homer: Do you want some of this?!
(Bart-Boo shakes head)