The Situation With Tucker Carlson

Season 1 Episode 38

Eric Schaeffer, Ben Jones, Rachel Maddow, Max Kellerman

Aired Weekdays 11:00 PM Aug 04, 2005 on MSNBC
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Episode Summary

Eric Schaeffer, Ben Jones, Rachel Maddow, Max Kellerman
Tonight's Guests: Eric Schaeffer, Ben Jones, Rachel Maddow, Max Kellerman. Tucker and his panel discuss Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist was briefly hospitalized, Michael Jackson's jurors changing their tunes, a convicted murderer buried at Arlington Cemetery, a possible X-rated career move for Mike Tyson, and much, much more.moreless

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (10)

      • Willie Geist: Whatever happened to pumping a little iron and beating the crap out of someone in the prison yard? That's a prison activity.

      • Max Kellerman: That last segment really resonated with me personally, because my mother wouldn't go over $50 a session for toilet training. And I've never been the—you know, it ruined me.

        Tucker Carlson: Is that what happened? We'll explore that on a future show.

      • Tucker Carlson: I don't think a normal childhood includes a $120-an-hour toilet training.

      • Ben Jones: Yes. I drank enough liquor to float a battleship. And I done quit. But—but, you know, the liquor industry is pretty unbridled. And it's shoving that stuff on kids. And better that they're at home staggering around calling people, than out in an automobile on a cell phone calling people.

      • Rachel Maddow: Nobody is trying to take away your minivan, Tucker. This is not about liberals...


        Tucker Carlson: First of all, I don't have a minivan, as you know. And that's an awful thing to suggest.

        Rachel Maddow: Well, you shouldn't call me sophomoric.

        Tucker Carlson: That's the worst slur. That's the—OK, you got me back.

        Rachel Maddow: All right.

        Tucker Carlson: You accused me of driving a minivan. I hereby apologize for...

        Rachel Maddow: I will never accuse of wearing pleated pants until I see them. But we're on even ground here.

        Tucker Carlson: Oh, you're hurting me.

      • Tucker Carlson: (about environmentalists) ...It's the same people who want to control where you live, what you drive, what you eat, what you smoke, how much water is in your toilet. Buzz off.

      • Ben Jones: They made things right. They always made the right moral choice. And they didn't curse and there was no blood and the good guys won. It was like Roy Rogers and Gene Autry. And that's why families trust our show.

        This film is dark and it's raunchy. It's for stoners and slackers in the suburbs. So, I'm just telling you, they're spending $30 million trying to get our kids to go see this. And I'm saying, parents, be careful. Don't take your kids to it. Caveat emptor.

      • Tucker Carlson: And you got Catherine Bach running around in those cut-off shorts, those Daisy Duke shorts. That's why I watched it, for the sex.


        Ben Jones: The best legs in the history of legs.


        Ben Jones: But it was, you know, a class act. All she had to do was walk past the camera and that would make a bulldog break its chain.


        Ben Jones: I mean, that's all it was. She wasn't doing a hoochie-coochie show up there, like the new girl.

      • Rachel Maddow: I think, you know, if you're writing rap lyrics or any kind of lyrics or writing anything and posting it on the Internet espousing violence against other people, I completely understand why the school kicks him out.

      • Tucker Carlson: But, look, when you set off bombs designed to kill recruits standing in line or schoolchildren, it's just—it's evil. That's not resistance. It's terrorism.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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