The Smoking Room

Season 2 Episode 6

Quitters

0
Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Aug 30, 2005 on BBC Three
9.6
out of 10
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Episode Summary

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Despite being a smoker herself, Sharon is concerned about the amount of time being taken by the smokers for smoking breaks. So she has organised an anti-smoking seminar and attendance is compulsory.

Naturally, the mood of the smokers isn't good. Derek, the man who is holding the seminar, is dressed as a cigarette. He sings, too.moreless

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (7)

      • Derek: [dressed as a cigarette] So, I'd like you all now to troop past me, seeing me as cigarettes personified and admit one thing that you hate about me. And don't you spare my blushes. You [points at Robin] start the ball rolling and the rest of you form an orderly queue. Robin: Erm, your singing was quite flat.
        Derek: [laughs] No, not me, the cigarettes.
        Robin
        : I know - I've got a facetious streak.
        Derek
        : Come on Barry, I don't bite.
        Barry
        : Erm, the smell, I suppose, although I have a plug-in thing at home that covers that, but that smells slightly of p*ss.

      • Clint: He brain-washes us, Barry.
        Barry: Who does?
        Clint: The Cigzowt guy, gets inside our 'eads and tells us to quit and who knows what other sh*t he'll tell us to do? We could walk out of here non-smokers and suicide bombers.

      • Barry: I erm, do actually know a technique for avoiding being brain-washed if you're interested.
        Clint: Did you get it off the Net?
        Barry: No, Blake's 7.

      • Lilian: It's daft all this kerfuffle to get us to stop. When I think of the trouble I had trying to start. Stood in the back jigger, choking on fag after fag. "Oh come on, Lilian the boys'll think you're boring if you don't get to grips with it".
        Robin
        : Ah peer pressure, so much to answer for.
        Lilian
        : This was me mum.

      • Heidi: Keith insists we have lots of sex. It's the best way to burn calories.
        Clint
        : Blatantly.
        Janet
        : I should be enormous.
        Heidi
        : And it's ever-so-good for the heart... sometimes if I'm too tired Keith says "knuckle down, Chunky and think of your heart", cause I'll be thinking of, Christina Aguilera.
        Clint
        : He must have some imagination!

      • Barry: I've had a few health scares recently, thought I was having muscular spasms. Turned out to be my new vibrating phone. My little nieces were texting me non-stop. "we love you Uncle Barry, U R da best". That type of thing.
        Heidi: Aw.
        Barry: So I texted them back saying thanks to them I'd self-diagnosed Parkinson's Disease.

      • Robin: 5 across is impel.
        Barry: Eh?
        Robin: Egg-on 5 across, impel... not toast.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (2)

      • Lilian: Stood in the back jigger choking on fag after fag...

        Two allusions here: 'jigger', a slang term mainly in the north of England for an alleyway; an ideal place for dumping your rubbish - someone else's jigger, not your own.

        'Fag': this is a slang term for a cigarette and not what you Americans were thinking. Although you could do that in a jigger too, but don't let anyone see.

      • Barry: I erm, do actually know a technique for avoiding being brain-washed if you're interested. Clint: Did you get it off the Net?
        Barry
        : No, Blake's 7.


        Blake's 7 was a sci-fi programme from the late 1970s. The sets were cardboard and the actors were wooden. A poor man's Doctor Who and a good way to spend your time whilst your mates were out with girls.

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