The opening monologue starts off with "Uncle Tommy" telling a goodnight story to the children of America. The story tells the tale of a hunter who hunted for wild animals to sell to city zoos. While on a hunt, the hunter found a beautiful white elephant with a foot caught in a trap. Instead of shooting the elephant, he set the animal free, hoping that his act of kindness would come back and also knowing that elephants never forget. Many years later, retired from hunting, the old gray-haired man was at the circus with his grand-son and spotted the elephant at the same time the animal spotted him. The elephant walked to the old man, picked him up gently in his trunk and affectionately held him close. Then the elephant crushed him to death. Dickie objects as Tom explains that it was the wrong elephant.
Dickie frowns as Peter Cullen Cullen announces the show's guests, which include actress Agnes Moorehead, comedian Norm Crosby, and rock group The Hollies, along with regulars Pat Paulsen, Leigh French, The Jimmy Joyce Singers, The Louis DaPron Dancers, and Nelson Riddle and His Orchestra.
Dressed in traditional Greek soldier costumes, Tom and Dick play the song "Never On A Sunday" in the Greek language. The song quickly breaks down into Tom speaking to the wonders of Greece and it's famous history, which he quickly muddles. Grecian music played by Nelson Riddle and His Orchestra begins as the Louis DaPron Dancers appear, all dressed in similar garb to do a traditional Greek line dance called the Syrtos. Tom and Dick enter into the center of the circle with the traditional handkerchief between their teeth, but Tom soon has to sneeze and uses the cloth to wipe his nose. He then puts it back in his mouth offering it back to Dick, who repulses and takes the rag and throws it away. The music starts again as the dancers pick Tom and Dick up, with Tom protecting his skirt from being looked up like a woman would.
After the break, Tom and Dick are still in their Greek clothes which, after Tom makes fun of how they look, Dick explains they were worn by Greek soldiers. Tom says today they are known as mini-skirts. Dick then lists the show's guest stars again and that leads into the first song by The Hollies which is their hit Carrie Anne.
Members of the Hollies:
Allan Clarke - Lead Vocals
Tony Hicks - Vocals and Guitar
Graham Nash - Vocals and Guitar
Bobby Elliott - Drums
Bernie Calvert - Bass
The song is presented with psychedelic visuals, one of the first examples of this type of video effect.
The first sketch of the show features Agnes Moorehead as the mother of a teen-aged "Georgie" Washington which is played by Tom. Tom finally comes home in custody of British red coats, only Georgie talks like a late 60s hippie. Pat Paulsen shows up as Benedict Arnold looking for gossip to take to the British.
Dick introduces Pat, who presents an editorial on the ills of social security benefits and the seniors who want them. Pat is upset that seniors want more than $1500.00. He thinks old folks just sit around and complain. He thinks they should live at home with family, like his mom does. They built a lean-to in the back yard for her and she provides excellent company for the family dog. Pat complains that the citizens were promised 35 years ago that the old people would be taken care of. But that it hasn't worked. There are more old people than ever.
Norm Crosby is up next with a monologue featuring his own unique use of the English language.
Dick informs the audience that after the show, Tom is going to translate what Norm said. He then introduces The Hollies who perform the song, Dear Eloise. The song is presented in music video form predating Mtv by 14 years. This was one of the innovations The Comedy Hour introduced to late 60s television audiences.
The Brothers introduce The Wonderful World of Apples, with Agnes, Norm, Pat, Tom, Dick, and Leigh French. Tom and Leigh then are seen as Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, only to be tempted by the serpent in the form of Pat Paulsen. Norm then tries to sell apples from a cart for ten thousand dollars each. Dick wants to know how he can make a living at that price. Norm replies that he only has to sell one. Pat then portrays Sir Isaac Newton getting hit on the head with an apple. Dick then goes bobbing for apples and comes up kissing a pretty girl saying, "How do you like them apples?" Tom then plays William Tell shooting arrows at his son, Norm Crosby. Agnes plays a wicked witch who fed a poison apple to Sleeping Beauty, only to have a young prince played by Tom kiss the dozing girl, who in turn wakes up to reveal Pat Paulsen. Tom then feeds the poison apple back to Pat. The full cast is joined by the singers and dancers for the show's finale, Apples Are A Wonderful Fruit.
In the prologue, Tom wants to give honor to "National Bird Call Week" and does the bird call of a Yellow-bellied Fantailed Meadow Lark. Dick says it was beautiful, and that he now understands the saying, "Brains of a feather flock together."