The Sopranos Season 2 Episode 7

Christopher: Swingers? He can suck my dick; that swings, too.

Tony: (to AJ on Carmela) She knows that even if God is dead, you're still going to kiss his ass.

Carmela: What kind of animal smokes marijuana at his own confirmation?
A.J.: I don't know.
Carmela: Be a good Catholic for fifteen fucking minutes; is that so much to ask?!

Dr. Melfi: It sounds to me like Anthony Jr. may have stumbled onto existentialism.
Tony: Fucking Internet.

Tony: (on AJ) He tells me he's got no purpose.
Dr. Melfi: And how did you answer him?
Tony: I told him that it costs 150 grand to bring him up so far, so if he's got no purpose I want a fucking refund.

Carmela: You could have killed those girls.
A.J.: Now that would have been interesting.
Carmela: What? What did you just say?
A.J.: Death just shows the ultimate absurdity of life.
Tony: What is this? Are you trying to get me to lose my temper? Cause I'm about to put you through that Goddamn window.
A.J.: See? That's what I mean. Life is absurd.
Carmela: Don't say that! God forgive you.
A.J.: There is no God.

Carmela: You stole my car? Where is the trust in this house?
AJ: When I get confirmed I'm going to be a man. So how come I can't drive?
Tony: You really want to get into this? Who was that man we had to pick up at camp last year for bed wetting?

Livia: Why does everything have to have a purpose? The world is a jungle and if you want my advice Anthony, don't expect happiness. You won't get it. People let you down and I'm not naming any names but in the end you die in your own arms.
A.J.: You mean alone.
Livia: It's all a big nothing. What makes you think you're so special?

A.J.: There is no God.
Carmela and Tony: Hey!!

Livia: I know your father doesn't let you come down here.
A.J.: That's not true. He just doesn't want us to talk about you in the house.
Livia: He can go shit in his hat.

Dr. Melfi: (to Tony) In your family, even motherhood is up for debate.