The Sopranos Season 1 Episode 11

Tony: I won't hurt a man I love because of some cop gossip from a degenerate fucking gambler with a badge.
Makazian: You know, you got an amazing ability to sum up a man's whole life in a single sentence. Degenerate gambler with a badge, huh? You're a pisser. You're a real pisser.

Altieri: Come on, it's a friendly card game.
FBI Agent: Relax, Jimmy. If I wanted to bust up card games, I'd have a doughnut in my mouth.

Mikey: I may be getting bumped up a notch or two. Tony Soprano's on his way out, and I mean as in forever.
Jojo: Oh, my God. He's going to jail?
Mikey: No, the other forever…

Tony: (about Vin) What did he come here for, therapy?
Debbie: You could say that.
Tony: Instead of a couch you use a bed. It's not a bad idea.
Debbie: Hey, who wouldn't want to sleep with their shrink?
Tony: What does that mean?
Debbie: You'd be amazed how much easier it is to open up, when you're naked and in the arms of some who cares for you.

Tony: (joking with Big Pussy about his son) He's a good lookin' kid. Are you sure he's yours?

Tony: Listen I want you to keep your eye on Pussy. There's something wrong with him. He's not himself.
Christopher: You're tellin' me. You know he hasn't even done his rounds in a week. He's startin' to look like an easy mark.
Paulie: I told him, someone owes you money, even if you gotta crawl, you get it.

Meadow: I don't think sex should be a punishable offense.
Tony: You know honey, that's where I agree with you. I don't think sex should be a punishable offense either. But I do think talking about sex at the breakfast table is a punishable offense. So no more sex talk, okay.
Meadow: It's the 90s. Parents are supposed to discuss sex with their children.
Tony: Yeah, but that's where you're wrong. You see out there it's the 1990s but in this house it's 1954. 1990s. 1954. So now and forever I don't want to hear any more sex talk.

Tony: So, your father tells me you're taking up astronomy in college.
Kevin: No, business.
Tony: Well how come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?

Vice Cop: Look at this; a doctor, a madam, a wiseguy, and a cop. That's what I call a vice superfecta.

Reporter: I don't what's more embarrassing-to be caught in a bordello or to be caught with the wiseguy.