Joel: (on "Jersey Shore" star Snooki Polizzi's arrest)
The jail didn't have an orange jumpsuit in Snooki's size, so she just walked around naked and no one seemed to tell the difference.
Joel: In movie news, Justin Bieber will star as himself in a 3-D film about his life story. Justin wasn't the studio's first choice for the role, but they settled after negotations with their first pick, Sir Ian McKellen, broke down.
Joel: Lindsay Lohan was released from jail after serving 14 days behind bars and is now in rehab at UCLA Medical Center. Lindsay is excited to be on a college campus so she can finally binge drink, experiment with drugs and have a lesbian relationship.
Joel: In celebrity relationship news, just two weeks after announcing their reconciliation and engagement, Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have broken up. Bristol says that Levi was obsessed with being in the limelight. Bristol said that to People magazine. This was after her appearance on Secret Life of the American Teenager, which was also before she announced to Us Weekly she was engaged to Levi.
Such a shame he's becoming obsessed with being in the limelight. I'm sure she'll address it on her speaking tour.