The Soup Season 8 Episode 13

Joel honors the "best" in television, movies and pop culture including:





Outstanding Meltdown


Nominee(s): Brandi on Bad Girls Club: Miami for "I'm sleep!"; Apprehended Genius Girl from Party Heart: Texas Blowout 2; The Suicide Potato from Magical Witch Punie-Chan


Winner: Calvin Tran from Bravo's The Fashion Show





Cutest Toddler Beauty Queen


Winner: Brenna from Toddlers & Tiaras (accepted by The Office's Kate Flannery as Brenna)





Best Waterworks Non-Sexual presented by Community's Jim Rash and Anthony Michael Hall


Winner: Speaker of the House John Boehner on 60 Minutes





Not Putting Things in Your Va-Jay-Jay


Winner: NeNe Leakes from The Real Housewives of Atlanta





Best Waterworks - Dancing with the Stars


Winner: Wendy Williams





Best Performance by a Celebrity in a Hate Filled Rant


Winner: Mel Gibson for his angry outbursts caught on tape (accepted by Maria Menounos)





Most Rhetoricalist Question


Winner: Marg Helgenberger from CSI (accepted by Carrot Top and a dead hooker)





Best Dressed


Winner: (for their ability to mesh fashion and double entendre) RuPaul and the cast of RuPaul's Drag Race (Raja, Shangela and Delta Work)





Vesty-est Pantsuit


Winner: Nancy Grace





Most Valuable Player


Winner: John Grogan, the lie-detector guy





Least Valuable Player


Winner: One Tree Hill's Worst Televised Iced Tea Refiller, Hopey Henderson





Song of the Year


Nominee(s): Catherine Zeta-Jones' performance of "Send in the Clowns" at The Tony Awards; The Amazing Race's glee club duo for their a cappela performance of "Please Drive Faster"; the Mama Doni band's performance of "Hanukkah Fever" on Good Day, New York


Winner: The theme from Must Love Cats, performed by John Fulton





Outstanding Achievement in Avoiding The Bachelor Hot Tub


Winner: Chris Harrison





The Bob Harper Memorial Award for Stepping on an Obese Person


Winner: Bob Harper from The Biggest Loser





Best Description of Mustache by Somebody Who Really, Really Wants to be a WWE Superstar


Winner: Eli Cottonwood from WWE NXT





The Sci Fi Award


Nominee(s): Mega Python vs. Gatoroid; Sharktopus; Dinocroc vs. Supergator


Winner: Sharktopus accepted by Jerry the Pool Boy from Dinocroc vs. Supergator





Best Smackdown of an Octomom


Winner: Suze Orman confronting Nadya Suleman on The Oprah Winfrey Show





Outstanding Achievement in Urination presented by Kyle Bornheimer from Perfect Couples


Winner: Jersey Shore's Jwoww for peeing behind a bar





Most Awkwardest Date


Nominee: One Tree Hill's Clay and Quinn at the beach with Clay's vibrating crotch


Winner: The Millionaire Matchmaker's Robin Kassner and Luke Morganstern





Creepiest Old Person Moment of the Year presented by Community's Alison Brie and Danny Pudi


Nominee: Elsa from The Real Housewives of Miami


Winner: Suzanne Somers for discussing the thighmaster on Extra





Getting the Phrase "Anal Charlie Horse" on Televison


Winner: Dr. Mehmet Oz from The Dr. Oz Show





Best Nonsensical Phrase presented by Nia Vardalous


Nominees: Steven Tyler on American Idol; Gary Busey from Celebrity Apprentice


Winner: Ray J ("Swack, swack") from Brandy & Ray J: A Family Business





Gayest Not Gay Moment: Alaska Edition


Winner: Jack Hoffman from Discovery Channel's Gold Rush Alaska (accepted by Patrick Warburton)





Entertainer of the Year!


Nominee(s): David Hasselhoff for his "triumphant" return to The Young and the Restless; Jerry Hess for his role as Jerry the Pool Boy in Dinocroc vs. Supergator; Ma from Ma's Roadhouse for her cheeseburger berating


Winner: Two and a Half Men's Jon Cryer