There's nothing scarier than a creepy kid. Nothing. As normal human beings, it's our instinct to avoid doing children harm; in contrast to their grown-up counterparts, it's a lot harder to shoot tiny child monsters with silver bullets, drive wooden stakes through their minuscule hearts, or prevent them from squirming out of our grip while we hold their heads underwater. Those rascals! No good horror project is complete without a pint-sized terror, and in the last week, television has given us not one, but TWO great new entries.
That got us thinking: Who are television's creepiest kids? Below, we've listed a few of our recent favorites. Share your own—whether from past shows or current ones—in the comments!
New vampire kid Emma from The Strain
The latest addition to the creepy TV kid canon is French-speaking Emma, who boarded a plane from Berlin to New York City in The Strain's series premiere and ended up getting all the lifeforce sucked out of her by some ancient vampire. And at the end of the episode, a pasty, zombie-like kiddo returned to her dad and showed off her new extra eyelids, upping the spook factor by a billion. But that wasn't even the worst part; in her human form, she took up an aisle seat on an international flight! Kids should always sit bitch on planes and leave the legroom for the adults.
Silent, mind-controlling Victor from The Returned
Our second French-speaking child creep is "Victor," a kid who would lose an arm-wrestling match to a chihuahua. But Victor's fright factor doesn't stem from any show of strength, it comes from his dead doll eyes, flat hair, and vacant expressions. Oh, and the fact that he died 35 years ago and may've mind-controlled his neighbor's cats to eat her. We still don't know what this munchkin's deal is, other than keeping us awake at night.
One-year-old alien-human hybrid Lexie from Falling Skies
No, Lexie doesn't look like a child, but don't forget that she's only technically like a year old. She could talk only a week after being born, she has alien DNA, and how the hell did that baby grow into that blue-eyed, platinum blond bombshell without access to hair dye or a plastic surgeon? Oh, and did I mention that she's essentially a cult leader who's secretly meeting with the Espheni and wants everyone to lay down their guns and embrace a life of non-violence... yet she's not afraid to use violence to make everyone do just that? Yikes.
Breast-feeding brat Robin Arryn from Game of Thrones
Giving a kid ultimate power over a kingdom is always a good way to turn him into a creepazoid. When Jon Arryn was murdered, the keys to the Eyrie were placed in the hands of his doofus son Robin, a tween terror who still suckles at his mother's teat. His fascination with the Moon Door is psychotic, and his frequent tantrums are the nightmares of a kingdom whose citizens are undoubtedly troubled by the fact their home is ruled by a pouty child with ADHD. The sooner Littlefinger figures out how to dispatch of this freak, the better.
Bird-murdering roboboy Ethan from Extant
We've only spent an hour with Ethan so far, but he's already proof that creepy rugrats need not be flesh and blood to give us the heebie-jeebies. When his dad was programming Ethan's synthetic outbursts and rebellious nature, he must have accidentally flipped the crazy switch, too, because Ethan will be the downfall of mankind and King of the Robot Uprising if he doesn't get the ice cream he wants. SCARY!
Who do you think are the creepiest kids on television right now, and what creepy kids from the past still haunt you?