The Suite Life of Zack & Cody Season 2 Episode 33

Chelsea: What did she just say?
London: I dunno, but i think she just insulted us.

(Ella, Barbara and Cody walk in)
Zack: Oh, hey guys. I'm glad you're here. I wanna apologize.
Cody: Apology's not accepted!
Zack: Yeah, couldn't care less... (Zack pushes Cody and Barbara aside)

Zack: If I take up golf, I would be out the hotel more.
Moseby: (With surprised face) Call me coach.

London: Girls, let's turn to real issues...what do you think of my hair?
Maddie: I'm horrified!
Mr. Moseby: I think her hair looks nice. It's shiny.
Maddie: Did any of you even read the book?
Tiffany: Well, my butler was reading it to me, but my cell phone rang. It was Bradley Wiggins!
Chelsea: Oooh, he's cute!
Tiffany: I know! And he said he's thinking of dumping Allison... for me!

London: (Gets a papercut) Reading is dangerous!

Tiffany: Who cares? That would be like my brother dating Chelsea.
Chelsea: Oh, just because my family's yacht is smaller than yours, you think you're better than me?
Tiffany: Well... yeah!
Chelsea: And, by the way, I did date your brother. He's an idiot.
Maddie: Yikes.
London: Girls, girls, please. It's okay for rich people to hang out with other people who have less money than they do. I mean, I hang out with you guys.
Maddie: Double yikes!
Tiffany: (To London) Well, at least my daddy's not an inn keeper!
London: (Gasps) How dare you! (spills her drink on Tiffany's dress) Oops.
Tiffany: Did you just purposely throw tea on my new dress?!
London: Honey, what does it matter? It's probably a knockoff anyway.
Maddie: Uh, ladies, shouldn't we get back to the book?
(Tiffany puts a pie on London's head)
Tiffany: Oops.
London: I'll have you know, I'm too much of a lady to engage in your low-class behavior. Oh, who am I kidding? (Hits Tiffany in the back of the head with another pie)
Chelsea: Girls, girls. It doesn't matter what you have in the bank. All that matters is what you have on your face. (Hits Tiffany in the face with a pie)
Tiffany: That better be low-fat!
Chelsea: Well, let's ask London. (Hits London in the face with a pie)
(both London & Tiffany hit Chelsea in the face with another pie)
London & Tiffany: Oops.
Maddie: All right, I'll just be going, then!

Ella: By the way, I let you win.
Zack: Did not... did you?
Ella: Maybe I did... maybe I didn't.
Zack: Oh, so that's how you want it? Fine. Best two out of three.
Ella: You're on.
Zack: Oh, and if you win, it's best five out of nine.

Cloris: (Screams) Next!
Barbara: (Scared) I don't want to be next! (Hides behind Cody)

Mr. Moseby: I, myself, am a fan of the game of golf. Been playing it since I was no taller than a 7-iron.
Zack: Do you know anything about miniature golf?
Mr. Moseby: (Scoffs) Ha! Do I? I was a junior putt-putt champion. Those other competitors would quake with fear when they'd see me coming with Big Buellar.
Zack: Is Big Buellar the name of your club?
Mr. Moseby: Nope, my mother. Buellar Moseby. That woman is 250 pounds of fire and brimstone... and 20 pounds of coffee cake.
Zack: So you'll help me?
Mr. Moseby: Too busy. (Starts leaving)
Zack: Well, you know, if I take up golf, I'll be out of the hotel more.
Mr. Moseby: (Comes back) Call me Coach!

Zack: Look, I don't mind being beaten by a girl if it's girl stuff.
Carey: Zack, I cannot believe you are being that shallow.
Cody: Face it, Mom, he's as shallow as a kiddy pool.
Zack: At least I'm not afraid to swim in one!

Mr. Moseby: Thought your shift was over, Madeline?
Maddie: It is. But I thought I'd stay and, uh, do a little inventory.
Mr. Moseby: Couldn't resist listening in on London's book club, could you?
Maddie: I can't help it! It's just too bizarre!
Chelsea: (To the other girls in the book club) Okay, everyone, let's get the discussion started.
London: It's about time. (Opens book) Can we talk about Paris? (Closes book) Did you guys see that hideous pink dress she wore to the Gala last night? It looked like she threw up a flamingo!
Maddie: (To Mr. Moseby) They're not even discussing the book!
Mr. Moseby: And you're surprised because?

Carey: I'm gonna go for a jog. Hopefully that drive-through donut shop will serve me even though I am on foot.

Zack: I got beat by a girl. It's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me. Cody: More embarrassing than that time in gym when you were climbing the rope and your shorts fell off? Zack: That was you

Zack: Can you pass me a hard boiled egg? Cody: (Talking through a spoon) Cody Martin lines up the putt. It's a difficult lie. Zack: Can I just have my egg? Cody: There is a slight breeze out of the northwest. The crowd is hushed. Zack: The crowd is hungry!

Cody: If she sinks this, it would be her ninth hole in one! (Zack looks at him with a mean face) Bu-but who's counting?
Barbara: They are!

London: (To Maddie) We'll prove to you that we can read this book. Right, girls?
Girls in Book Club: Yes!
London In fact, we're gonna start right now. (Starts reading book) Who's hungry?
Girls in Book Club: Me! (Closes books)

Maddie: London, did you actually read Pride and Prejudice?
London: Yes.
Maddie: What's the main character's name?
London: Pride?

London: OK guys. Enough about fashion and cars. Lets get serious. What do you think- of my hair?

Barbara: Cody, this looks really complicated. Cody: Not really. All you have to do is look at it as if it were an isosceles triangle. The giraffe on the line intersecting it diagonally. Barbara: And if you calculate the angle trajectory, you should be able to find the coordinates of the optimal target zone. Cody: I should have bought my protractor. Barbara: Oh, I have one! (Reaches to her back pocket and takes it out.) Cody: The Angle Jam 2000? Barbara: I got it for Chanukah.

Zack: Your hair looks really pretty under the glow of the tiki torches.
Ella: Thanks. Wait until you see it blowing under the windmill.
Cloris: You should see my hair under the windmill.
Zack: (To Ella privately) Yeah, how do you think it got that way?
Cloris: I heard that!

Barbara: You know, we really should be studying.
Cody: Don't worry. Before I left, I slipped in flashcards.
Barbara: Oh, Cody. You're so resourceful!

Cody: Ohhh, I get it. (Sniffs) But you might want to take a shower first.
Zack: (Smells himself) Maybe its from all those one-armed push-ups.

Zack: (Talking on the phone) Hi, Ella! It's Zack, from biology... Yeah, the one who hit you with spitball..! Well I was aiming at my brother.

Cody: As flattering as that is, I can't. I have a study date with Barbra Brownstien.
Zack: Well that's great! You can study on your date!

Cody: Why do I even need to go with you at all?
Zack: Because I really want to impress Ella and no matter what we end up doing, you just make me look better.

Carey: TEN! (reaches to grab the donut)
Zack: (Takes donut before Carey)
Carey: Honey, that was my reward!
Zack: Wasn't being a mother reward enough?

Carey: How many was that?
Cody: Three.
Carey: Ughh.
Cody: You can do it! You just need a little inspiration! (Picks up donut and waves it over Carey's head) Four, five...
Zack: (On phone with Ella) Oh, uh that? Thats just my brother counting off how many one-armed push-ups I'm doing.
Cody: She is NOT going to fall for that!
Zack: So it's a date, then!
Cody: And I know nothing.

Maddie: Pride and Prejudice is a great book! Wow, I'm impressed. What inspired you to join book club? London: Well, Tiffany started it and everyone who's anyone is in it. Maddie: I'm not. London: Exactly.

Zack: Would you relax? You can go with whoever you want.
Cody: Why do I need to go with you at all?
Zack: Because...I really wanna impress Ella and no matter what we end up doing, you just make me look better.