The Suite Life on Deck Season 1 Episode 13

London: Bailey, blow.
Bailey: Sure. I got strong lungs. During the big frost of '06, my sisters and I blew on the crops to keep them warm. (huffs)
Maddie: No way! When our electricity got cut off, my sisters and I used to blow-dry each other's hair, literally! (huffs) That is so... (Maddie and Bailey starts to chat)
London: Well, well, (starts interrupting) one time, yeah, my, my blowdryer broke, And I had to buy a hair salon. (mock huffs)
(Bailey and Maddie looks at her, then at each other)

Bailey: London, they make comfortable inflatable mattresses these days.
Maddie: They do. But this happens to be a raft.

Mr. Moseby: Cody, how come we're the only ones wearing tights?
Cody: Uh, I don't know. (looks at the scroll) Ah-ah-according to the scroll-
Mr. Moseby: Oh, you mean... the toilet paper!

(Zack wildly attacks Jeffy in the 3rd round of the joust)
Harold: (to Bailey) I can't tell you how many times I wish I could've done that to the little twit.
(Zack still keeps on)
Harold: All right. Point: challenger!

London: That's my big beautiful bed, and that (pointing to Bailey's bed) is where you'll be sleeping.
Bailey: But that's my bed.
London: Bailey, we have a guest, don't be so selfish!

London: That is a genuine Arturo Vitalli. It's the only one you'll ever see.
Bailey: Why? Did the others fly south for the winter?
(she and Maddie laugh)

Bailey: (encouragingly) Don't worry, Maddie, your prince is still out there, somewhere.
Maddie: I just hope he shaves.

Bailey: I told you you'd look beautiful.
Maddie: Thanks to you.
(they shoulder hug)

Zack: Do you have to blow that thing every time you announce something?
Harold the Herald: Yes, best part of the job!

Cody: I'm sure she'd rather date a prince than some kid who used soap for the first time.
Zack: Look, Frodo, Maddie doesn't know that was the first time.
Cody: Yes, she does; we all do. We were going to have an intervention on Tuesday.

Maddie: Hello? He's a prince! I'll be there even if he's in frog form.
Harold the Herald: Splendid! 8 PM sharp. And you can bring your... friends.
Maddie: What friends? Sorry, prince on the brain.

Bailey: Zack, you smell different, almost good.
Zack: Well, since Maddie's coming, I went a little wild with the hygiene.
Bailey: Is that cologne? Aftershave?
Zack: Soap; that stuff actually works. Maddie will never let go of me.
Cody: Ugh, depends on what's in that sandwich.
Zack: Who knows? I just pulled it out of my underwear drawer.

Zack: Hey, sweet thang, how about some sugar?
Maddie: Come here.
Zack: (vomits in the hottub and opens his arms wide to hug Maddie)
Maddie: I think I'll pass.
Cody: For future reference, you shouldn't store food with underpants.

Maddie: Cody, no sweater vest?
Cody: Oh, Maddie, that was the old Cody. You're looking at the new cool Cody.
(hugs)
Maddie: Ow!
Cody: Uh, sorry. That was my astronaut pen.

Bailey: (encouragingly) Come on, Zack, bounce him into next week!

Prince Jeffy: (to Maddie, while dancing with her) I can't wait for our honeymoon. Two weeks, you and me, Splish Splash Water Park.
Maddie: (sarcastically) Yippee.

Bailey: This is the most amazing castle I've been in. (Cody stares at her) Actually, it's the only castle I've ever been in.

(Prince Jeffy is doing an Egyptian dance move)
Maddie: Oh, I'm not doing that one!
(Maddie follows)
London: Oh, poor Maddie, how incredibly humiliating for her! (takes camera out and takes a picture of Maddie with Prince Jeffy)

Maddie: Hi. You must be London's new roommate. Did she leave you any room to store your clothes?
Bailey: I just got upgraded from a nail to a hook.

Maddie: I can't believe that I've being forced to marry a prince at gunpoint.
Bailey: More like cannon point.

London: So how was your night with Shrimp Charming?
Maddie: It was like any other fairy tale ending. I helped him with his long division and he took a nap happily ever after.

(Zack is losing the joust against Prince Jeffy)
Cody: Zack, what are you doing?
Mr. Moseby: One more point and we'll be putting a "Just Married" sign on the back of Jeffy's tricycle.

Maddie: Wow, Zack! Who knew you'd turn out to be my knight in shining armor?
Zack: (sighs) Well, I did, and I always knew you'd be my princess.
(hugs)
Zack: Now what say we ride my trusty steed into the sunset!
Maddie: It would be my honor.

Cody: (reading the scroll) Any other suitor, even a worthless peasant...
Zack: That would be me.
Cody: (continues reading) ...can challenge the prince to a duel for his betrothed. The woman goes to the winner.
Maddie: Uh, the woman goes to the winner? How sexist! I am not some prize to be won or lost.
Zack: Well, your only other option is to marry the royal runt.
Maddie: I'm down with the duel!

Maddie: Zack, win!
Zack: What am I gonna do? I mean, I'm not just gonna get mad jousting skills.
Maddie: Zack, I believe in you! (kisses Zack) Now go get him, tiger.

Prince Jeffy: So, ready to get freak-ay on the dance floor?
Maddie: Excuse me?
Prince Jeffy: I'll teach you the Linchtenstamp Stump. It's very similar to the Pee-Pee Dance.

(after Zack imitates Hulk Hogans taunt after beating the prince in round 3, he runs to Maddie)
Zack: Okay. I'm gonna need another kiss for round 4.
Jeffy: Forget it! I surrender! (runs away, wailing) Mommy?!

Mr. Moseby: Don't worry, Madeline, Zack will save the day.
(Zack picks his nose with his tie)
Mr. Moseby: I can't believe I just said that!

Bailey: (sadly) This was supposed to be her Cinderella moment, instead it's like Snow White, with one dwarf.
Zack: Yeah, Shorty. (he and London laugh)