Jay: Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said, "Al Zarqawi was mean, vicious and hateful." So, you know what that means? Ann coulter could be next.
Jay: A federal air marshal has been suspended from his job after appearing on the TV show "20/20" to complain that the government isn't doing enough job of protecting the identities of air marshals. He went on TV to complain that the government was not keeping his identity a secret.
Jay: The Constitutional Amendment to ban gay marriage was defeated in the United States Senate earlier this week… And did you see the gay people celebrating in West Hollywood? They were tipping over Volvos, spraying each other with Evian, looting the Pottery Barn.
Jay: Al Gore on the show tonight… This just shows you how quickly things can change. I mean, Arnold Schwarzenegger spends his days talking about his political agenda, and Al Gore is out promoting his new movie.
Jay: They said if global warming continues tropical countries to the south will become too hot to live in and their desperate citizens will flee north. Which means millions of Mexicans could sneak into the United States. Oh, like that would ever happen.
Jay: According to the AARP, brushing your teeth causes 4,000 injuries a year. And today, the British said, "That's what we've been trying to tell people."