During "Headlines", Jay introduces the first object as a "chinese" item. But the writings on the package are obviously not Chinese letters, but Arab ones. In fact, a quick Google search reveals that it's manifactured by a company in Damascus.
Jay: Alberto was in the Gulf of Mexico, moving north towards Florida. Not the hurricane. A guy on a raft from Cuba -- Alberto.
Jay: There's a big storm named Alberto heading toward Florida, and CNN said that Florida residents should have a survival plan to take care of themselves in case FEMA shows up.
Jay: That's the name of the hurricane, Alberto. Even these hurricanes are getting smarter. They know a Hispanic hurricane has a better chance of getting into the United States.
Jay: I guess over the weekend, they conducted an autopsy on this Al Zarqawi guy. This is my question. Is that really necessary? I mean, all the people going, "Gee, I wonder what he died from?"
Jay: President Bush said today that illegal immigrants who come to America should learn English. He said, "Hey, if I was moving to Canada, I would learn Canadian."
Jay: A man in England spent $250,000 to turn his apartment into a life sized replica of the Starship Enterprise. He said he did it as a form of therapy when his marriage broke up. Gee, I wonder why his marriage broke up.
Jay: Buddhist monks in Cambodia allowed to watch the world cup soccer tournament. But there's no cheering or getting excited allowed. They have to sit there in silence showing no expression and no emotion. You know, kind of like baseball fans in Kansas City when the Royals play.
Jay: A new reality show debuted on ABC earlier called "How to Get the Guy." It teaches women how to catch a man. Yeah. The first episode featured four women in San Francisco. Girls, tip number one -- get out of San Francisco!
Jay: Anna Nicole Smith announced she is pregnant. She couldn't wait to tell the father. Luckily, it was open casket.