Can anyone help tell me where these one liners are from? are they all from their news section of are any of them from sketches. If so which sketches? I work on a tv show Ronnie came on last week. These were his favourite one liners. Now I need to clear them with the writers! The elephant who'd done a ton on the M1 and the police advised motorists to drive with care and treat it as a roundabout. 2. the police station where thieves broke in and stole all the toilet seats at the local police station and a detective inspector said 'we've got nothing to go on'. 3. My great uncle Arther died at the battle of big horn, he wasn't involved in any of the fighting, he was camping nearby and he went over to complain about the noise. 4. Our Prime Minister Mr cameron left this morning on a tour of the freindly nations. Coming back tomorrow. 5. The lazy wife who left a note for her husband saying 'your salad's in the garden'