Kurtz: (to the boys) Okay, you can scram now. I ain't had my breakfast yet.
Rico: Got his name?
Ness: It's too early for Christmas.
Stella: He didn't screw up. You'll hear from him.
Kurtz: Sure, he'll send me a picture postcard from the White House.
Kurtz: (about Benno) He couldn't make change for a nickel, that guy.
Gifford: Mind if I say it's none of your business?
Rico: You can say it but you'd be wrong.
Gifford: I've got a job to do.
Rico: I've got a job too.
Gifford: You'd better start learning where your job ends.
Ness: (strongly to Gifford) You did a bang up job, all right! You lost Kurtz for us and those birds for yourself!
Ness: (to Garr) We're not just visiting lodge brothers, doctor.
Garr: The man's sick. He might not make it. Now why worry about a crummy little bag?
Officer Cavanaugh: It had a hundred thousand dollars in it.
Ness: (exasperated to Dr. Garr) Must be something they teach all doctors in college...'How to be stubborn in one easy semester.'
Bird in the Hand and its companion episode, Jake Dance, were pilots for a proposed spin-off series featuring the Garr and Gifford characters. The series was to have been titled White Knights.