The Vampire Diaries Season 1 Episode 9

Bonnie: I can't talk to you, you don't listen!
Caroline: That's not true!
Bonnie: I'm a witch.
Caroline: And don't we all know it.

Stefan: Now what do you want with Katherine's crystal?
Damon: She didn't tell you?
Stefan: We had other things on our mind.
Damon: I could rip your heart out and not think twice about it.
Stefan: Yeah, I've heard that before.
Damon: I have a bigger surprise, Stefan. I'm gonna bring her back.

Damon: I got the town off our back, it was for the greater good, but I'm sorry. And to prove it, I'm not going to feed on a human for at least a...week. I'll adopt the Stefan diet, only nothing but feathers.
Stefan: Because I realize killing your closest and oldest friend is beyond evil and yet, somehow it's worthy of humor.
Damon: Are you mimicking me?
Stefan: Yes, Stefan. Now that the secret society of vampire-haters if off our back, I can go back to my routine of "how can I destroy Stefan's life this week?"
Damon: And I can go back to sulking and Elena-longing and forehead brooding. This is fun, I like this.
Stefan: And I will finally reveal the ulterior motive behind my evil and diabolical return to Mystic Falls.
Damon: Yeah...I'm done.

Elena: I'm sorry, Stefan. I thought that I couldn't be with you, but I can. You don't have to push me away. I can do this.
Stefan: I can't. I...I have to leave, Elena. Too many people have died, too much has happened.

Caroline: That's twice, that is two heys, that...do you have any other words in your vocabulary?
Matt: What's wrong with hey?
Caroline: It reeks of awkward subtext. You spent the night in my bed. There was...cuddling, and then you snuck out before dawn so you wouldn't have to face me. Which I must say, is a total lame guy move that I did not appreciate. Now the heys? Seriously? I mean, I may have been some pathetic, insecure mess after the party, but do not mistake that for me being a pushover. Because I do not let guys mess with my head anymore.

Stefan: Are you telling me that Katherine is alive?
Damon: Well, if that's what you want to call it. She's been trapped in a mystical holding cell for the last century and a half. But you're an expert on starving a vampire, so how do you think she's doing, Stef?

Saltzman: (to Jeremy) You know that your old teacher had a jackass file? No joke. It's, uh, typed on a label. It has all the troublemakers in it. But really, it's just an opus to you.

Bonnie: I'm gonna scream.
Damon: Oh, no. Don't do that. Let's stay on point.

Stefan: You could always just leave, find another town to turn into your own Gas 'n Sip.

Caroline: Let's summon some spirits. This Emily chick has some serious explaining to do.

Damon: What are we doing here?
Stefan: Bonding.

Stefan: This isn't about love. This is about revenge.