The War at Home

Season 2 Episode 4

Car Wars

Aired Sunday 7:30 PM Oct 01, 2006 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Larry: Hey, um. You know what would be fun? Why don't we ask each other questions to, you know, get to know each other better, like what's you favorite color and that kind of things?
      Heidi: Oh, okay!
      Larry: Okay, you go first.
      Heidi: Um... What's your favorite band?
      Larry: Coldplay, now my turn. Are you going out with me just to make my brother jealous so you can get him back?

    • Larry: O-or maybe she's going out with me because I'm the funny brother and you're not funny at all! You'll see this has nothing to do with you so... Ta-da!
      Mike: Yeah, if I were you, I would save the "ta-da" for the first time that she sees you with your pants off! It won't help her disappointment, but at least she'll still think you're funny, right?!

    • Dave: Larry, if there's one thing I know about, it's how to ruin a relationship with a brother. If you don't believe me, ask your Uncle Eric.
      Larry: I have an Uncle Eric?

    • Heidi: Hi, Larry!
      Larry: Hi, Heidi.
      Heidi: How is your brother? I haven't spoken to him since we broke up.
      Larry: You big lucky! Maybe I should break up with him!

    • Dave: Hillary, ask me for a car.
      Hillary: Dad, we've been through this: you tell me to ask you, I ask you, and you tell me no.
      Dave: No, but this time will be different, I promise.
      Hillary: (sighs) Can I have a car?
      Dave: Hell, no!

    • Dave: (to Larry) Now, look, Heidi was Mike's first girlfriend, so stop teasing him.
      Mike: Ha!
      Dave: (to Mike) And for all we know, Heidi could be Larry's last girlfriend, so you lay off.
      Larry: Ha ha! Hey, wait, what?

    • Dave: Now, who wants some fried rice?
      Larry: You know what? I don't want fried rice, because I have a girlfriend who really likes me, so I don't want fried rice.
      Mike: I bet if I made out with the fried rice first, then you'd want some.

    • Mike: So, Larry, who's next on your list of inappropriate dates? I'm sure Dad probably has some ex-girlfriends. Maybe they're available. But wait, why stop there? Why not go out with Hillary? You know, she has a car now, so...
      Larry: Hey, hey, Mike, did you ever have any trouble opening that double hook on Heidi's bra? Oh, wait, that's right, you never got that far.
      Mike: You know what? Neither did you, you liar.
      Larry: Yeah, that's right, I'm lying... lying down with your ex-girlfriend.

    • Dave: Sweetie, I forgot to tell you, we got you your own gas credit card.
      Hillary: Really?
      Dave: Hell, no!

    • Dave: All right, Betty, so, uh... how much you want for it?
      Grandma Betty: Dave, I don't know anything about cars. We're family. Just make me a fair offer.
      Dave: Okay. How about $2,500?
      Grandma Betty: How about you shove it up your ****ing ass!

    • Dave: Now all we have to do is find her a cheap, safe, used car that we can take away from her.
      Vicky: Yeah. Hey, my Mom mentioned that she wants to sell her car.
      Dave: I already took her daughter off her hands. When does it end?

    • Dave: Joe, you're brilliant. Where'd you come up with that one?
      Joe: They talked about it for 2 hours last week at that seminar on teenage insurance.
      Dave: Nah, I must have missed that.
      Joe: You sat next to me.
      Dave: You don't know what you're talking about.
      Joe: Jennifer with the curly hair and hot body gave the presentation.
      Dave: Oh, that was a good meeting.

    • Hillary: Isn't it pretty out? It's kind of the day when you realize you're just lucky to be alive.
      Dave: You're not getting a car.
      Hillary: What? I wasn't...
      Dave: What, what? What am I, an idiot? I've seen "deep and delightful" Hillary. I've seen "likes what I like" Hillary. And I've seen, "Ooh, Daddy, have you been working out?" Hillary. And none of you's are getting a car.
      Hillary: Aw, come on, Dad, I deserve one.
      Dave: Hillary, Hillary, your grades stink, you break curfew all the time, and you don't help out at all around here. I'm gonna give you keys to a car? No, you're lucky I don't run you over with a car.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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