Dave: (to Hillary & Brenda) You know, you girls aren't that smart in the first place, you get drunk and your even stupider.
Hillary: Please, I have a terrible headache.
Vicky: Great, now I'm supposed to make two different meals every day?
Dave: Come on. How much work can it be? A kid wants to eat vegetables, it's not that big of a deal.
Vicky: Oh, good! I'm glad you think so, because you'll be the one doing it.
Dave: Fine, tell me the recipe for making broccoli? Oh yeah, broccoli!
Dave: When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was sneak into "R" rated movies. In my mind, "R" stood for "really good." Nowadays, there's warnings and ratings on everyhing; video games, music, booze, cigarettes. You think these warnings would keep kids away from all these things. When, actually, it's sending up a flare saying, "Hey, look. Good stuff over here."
(Disclaimer appears on screen: "Due to the mature subject matter, the following episode may not be suitable for all family members.")
Dave: (Glances down at disclaimer) See? Makes you wanna watch even more, doesn't it?
Mike: Dad, will you stay with me till I fall asleep?
Larry: Brenda, hi. You look great.
Brenda: Yeah, I know.
Larry: Hey, I was going to give you a call.
Larry: Thought maybe we could hang out.
Larry: Remember? We made out in the garage while you were drinking with Hillary?
Brenda: Oh, God, that did happen. Wow, drinking really does impair your judgment.
Larry: I thought you said I was cute. You said I could do better than Marla.
Brenda: Well, you probably can, but not as good as me.
Dave: Just because she got drunk, doesn't mean we can't drink. That's not fair. I didn't do anything wrong. I go to work, I make a living. If I want to come home and have a beer, my 16-year-old daughter isn't going to tell me I can't.
Vicky: No, but your wife is.
Vicky: You know, maybe we shouldn't drink while the kids live here.
Dave: Come on, Vicky, we drink because the kids live here.
Hillary: You know all that stuff you said the other night about drinking? If it's so dangerous, then how come you guys do it?
Dave: Because we're adults. And we know how to drink responsibly. That's why there's a drinking age, and a voting age, and a having sex age. Which, for you, is never.
Dave: Mike, your dinner's ready.
Mike: (Reads box) No.
Dave: What do you mean, no?
Mike: No. See, that's not going to work for me. There's rennet in the cheese.
Dave: What the hell is rennet?
Mike: It's an enzyme made from cows' intestines.
Dave: What the hell do you care? The cow's already dead. How do you know he's not an organ donor?
Mike: Dad, I'm sorry, I can't eat it.
Dave: Aw, come on. Do you know how long it took me to make this?
Mike: Uh... (Reads box) ... four minutes.
Vicky: Here you go. Eggs over easy. Nice and runny, just the way you like 'em.
Dave: Ooh, that looks so yummy. Hey, look, check it out. It kinda looks like what Brenda left on the floor last night.
Vicky: Dave, take the girls upstairs.
Dave: No. I can't even look at them.
Vicky: 'Kay, fine, I'll do it. You clean up the puke.
Dave: Okay, I'm taking you ladies to bed.
Dave: Last time I said that to two drunk girls, I was about to have a lot more fun.
Brenda: (Drunk) Hey, where have I seen you before?
Larry: I live in this house.
Larry: I don't like you when you're drunk.
Hillary: (Drunk) I don't like you when I'm sober.
Dave: (On the phone) Hello? Hey, hi, Arlene. Yeah, no, the kids just got home. Yeah, they're fine. No, they're just watching TV in Hillary's room. Yeah, of course we have a V-chip. Okay. Talk to you soon.
Vicky: Brenda's mom?
Dave: Yeah. Hey, what the hell's a V-chip?
Vicky: It's something that stops kids from watching sex and violence on TV.
Dave: Without the sex and violence, who the hell would want to watch TV?
Vicky: You shot a bird?
Dave: Uh, just relax, Vicky. It was obviously an accident. A bird must've, what, Mike? Flown in front of the can, which is the only thing you're allowed to shoot at, right?
Mike: No. I... just shot it.
Dave: (About Mike's BB gun) It's the same thing as when you got Hillary a training bra.
Vicky: Yeah, except I don't know any girls who lost an eye playing with a training bra. It's totally different.
Dave: Is it? You know, I got Mike something that holds little BB's, and you got Hillary something that holds little boobies.
Vicky: What was that?
Dave: Oh, that must be Mike playing with his BB gun.
Vicky: His what?
Dave: Ah, you know, he's been begging me for one, so I finally got it for him.
Vicky: Dave! Why didn't you ask me first?
Dave: Same reason I never asked her for a three-way. She would've just said no.
Vicky: Brenda's parent's are very overprotective. Forget about them - we may not be the best parents, but we're fine.
Dave: Fine? No. I'd say we're bordering on pretty good.
Dave: Hey, where are you off to?
Hillary: I'm meeting Brenda. We're going to the movies. Oh, and, um, her parents said that she could stay over tonight.
Vicky: Okay, fine. Just be home on time.
Hillary: I will. She has to cal them from here by 11:00. It's the only way they let her stay over.
Vicky: They don't trust her, huh?
Hillary: No, actually, they don't trust you.
Dave: What? Why not?
Hillary: I guess they, uh, think that you and mom aren't exactly the best parents.
Vicky: They said that?
Hillary: No. Actually, they said you suck.
Dave: (About Marla) Looks like Larry's still going out with that Weeble. That girl wobbles, but she don't fall down.
Brenda's parents are shown for the first time.
There was a viewer discretion advisory before the beginning of this episode.
Marla and Larry officially break up at the end of the episode.
Kenny does not make an appearance in this episode.
This episode originally aired out of production order.
The episode title, "Cheers," could refer to what people say when they toast drinks, or the famous TV show that was set in a bar.