The War at Home

Season 1 Episode 7


Aired Sunday 7:30 PM Nov 20, 2005 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Dave: (to Hillary & Brenda) You know, you girls aren't that smart in the first place, you get drunk and your even stupider.

    • Hillary: Please, I have a terrible headache.

    • Vicky: Great, now I'm supposed to make two different meals every day?
      Dave: Come on. How much work can it be? A kid wants to eat vegetables, it's not that big of a deal.
      Vicky: Oh, good! I'm glad you think so, because you'll be the one doing it.
      Dave: Fine, tell me the recipe for making broccoli? Oh yeah, broccoli!

    • Dave: When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was sneak into "R" rated movies. In my mind, "R" stood for "really good." Nowadays, there's warnings and ratings on everyhing; video games, music, booze, cigarettes. You think these warnings would keep kids away from all these things. When, actually, it's sending up a flare saying, "Hey, look. Good stuff over here."
      (Disclaimer appears on screen: "Due to the mature subject matter, the following episode may not be suitable for all family members.")
      Dave: (Glances down at disclaimer) See? Makes you wanna watch even more, doesn't it?

    • Mike: Dad, will you stay with me till I fall asleep?
      Dave: No.

    • Larry: Brenda, hi. You look great.
      Brenda: Yeah, I know.
      Larry: Hey, I was going to give you a call.
      Brenda: Why?
      Larry: Thought maybe we could hang out.
      Brenda: Why?
      Larry: Remember? We made out in the garage while you were drinking with Hillary?
      Brenda: Oh, God, that did happen. Wow, drinking really does impair your judgment.
      Larry: I thought you said I was cute. You said I could do better than Marla.
      Brenda: Well, you probably can, but not as good as me.

    • Dave: Just because she got drunk, doesn't mean we can't drink. That's not fair. I didn't do anything wrong. I go to work, I make a living. If I want to come home and have a beer, my 16-year-old daughter isn't going to tell me I can't.
      Vicky: No, but your wife is.

    • Vicky: You know, maybe we shouldn't drink while the kids live here.
      Dave: Come on, Vicky, we drink because the kids live here.

    • Hillary: You know all that stuff you said the other night about drinking? If it's so dangerous, then how come you guys do it?
      Dave: Because we're adults. And we know how to drink responsibly. That's why there's a drinking age, and a voting age, and a having sex age. Which, for you, is never.

    • Dave: Mike, your dinner's ready.
      Mike: (Reads box) No.
      Dave: What do you mean, no?
      Mike: No. See, that's not going to work for me. There's rennet in the cheese.
      Dave: What the hell is rennet?
      Mike: It's an enzyme made from cows' intestines.
      Dave: What the hell do you care? The cow's already dead. How do you know he's not an organ donor?
      Mike: Dad, I'm sorry, I can't eat it.
      Dave: Aw, come on. Do you know how long it took me to make this?
      Mike: Uh... (Reads box) ... four minutes.

    • Vicky: Here you go. Eggs over easy. Nice and runny, just the way you like 'em.
      Dave: Ooh, that looks so yummy. Hey, look, check it out. It kinda looks like what Brenda left on the floor last night.

    • Vicky: Dave, take the girls upstairs.
      Dave: No. I can't even look at them.
      Vicky: 'Kay, fine, I'll do it. You clean up the puke.
      Dave: Okay, I'm taking you ladies to bed.
      (Cut scene)
      Dave: Last time I said that to two drunk girls, I was about to have a lot more fun.

    • Brenda: (Drunk) Hey, where have I seen you before?
      Larry: I live in this house.

    • Larry: I don't like you when you're drunk.
      Hillary: (Drunk) I don't like you when I'm sober.

    • Dave: (On the phone) Hello? Hey, hi, Arlene. Yeah, no, the kids just got home. Yeah, they're fine. No, they're just watching TV in Hillary's room. Yeah, of course we have a V-chip. Okay. Talk to you soon.
      Vicky: Brenda's mom?
      Dave: Yeah. Hey, what the hell's a V-chip?
      Vicky: It's something that stops kids from watching sex and violence on TV.
      Dave: Without the sex and violence, who the hell would want to watch TV?

    • Vicky: You shot a bird?
      Dave: Uh, just relax, Vicky. It was obviously an accident. A bird must've, what, Mike? Flown in front of the can, which is the only thing you're allowed to shoot at, right?
      Mike: No. I... just shot it.

    • Dave: (About Mike's BB gun) It's the same thing as when you got Hillary a training bra.
      Vicky: Yeah, except I don't know any girls who lost an eye playing with a training bra. It's totally different.
      Dave: Is it? You know, I got Mike something that holds little BB's, and you got Hillary something that holds little boobies.

    • Vicky: What was that?
      Dave: Oh, that must be Mike playing with his BB gun.
      Vicky: His what?
      Dave: Ah, you know, he's been begging me for one, so I finally got it for him.
      Vicky: Dave! Why didn't you ask me first?
      (Cut scene)
      Dave: Same reason I never asked her for a three-way. She would've just said no.

    • Vicky: Brenda's parent's are very overprotective. Forget about them - we may not be the best parents, but we're fine.
      Dave: Fine? No. I'd say we're bordering on pretty good.

    • Dave: Hey, where are you off to?
      Hillary: I'm meeting Brenda. We're going to the movies. Oh, and, um, her parents said that she could stay over tonight.
      Vicky: Okay, fine. Just be home on time.
      Hillary: I will. She has to cal them from here by 11:00. It's the only way they let her stay over.
      Vicky: They don't trust her, huh?
      Hillary: No, actually, they don't trust you.
      Dave: What? Why not?
      Hillary: I guess they, uh, think that you and mom aren't exactly the best parents.
      Vicky: They said that?
      Hillary: No. Actually, they said you suck.

    • Dave: (About Marla) Looks like Larry's still going out with that Weeble. That girl wobbles, but she don't fall down.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Cheers
      The episode title, "Cheers," could refer to what people say when they toast drinks, or the famous TV show that was set in a bar.