The War at Home

Season 2 Episode 9

Cork Screwed

Aired Sunday 7:30 PM Dec 14, 2006 on FOX
out of 10
User Rating
37 votes

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Episode Summary

Cork Screwed
Fearing they're in a rut, Vicky tries to take Dave to a wine appreciation course, but he refuses, and later makes fun of her because she goes without him. Meanwhile, Dave assumes Larry is serving his new, older "ladyfriend" more than just the gourmet meals he prepares for her, and is offended that he isn't mentioned in Hillary's video blog.moreless

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  • You're going to hell.

    In this episode Larry is "helping" an older woman, Vicky goes to a wine appreciation course and Dave is his usual ****** self, also Dave is mad that Hilary did not mention him in her video Blog. Serriously, where do they come up with crap like this? If you take a gander at the quotes for this episode, or even watch it and laugh more than 2 times, something is wrong.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

    • When Hillary's video blog is paused, the paused video moves from one expression to another when the camera goes to Dave and back.

    • Dave couldn't have bought the wine from Waldbaum's because in New York state liquor (except beer) can't be purchased from a supermarket.

  • QUOTES (10)

    • Larry: Well, I wish I could stay longer, but I really have to be getting home now. But I'm sure I'll see you again.
      Kathy: I wouldn't count on it.
      Larry: Well, no, um, I meant I'll see you in Heaven.
      Kathy: Oh... I don't think so.
      Larry: Well, sure I will.
      Kathy: You're not going to Heaven.
      Larry: Excuse me?
      Kathy: You haven't accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Savior. You're going to hell!
      Larry: Well, I guess I'll see you there! (leaves)

    • Dave: Hey, where are you going in such a rush?
      Larry: I just got a call. Kathy's dying and she's asking for me.
      Dave: She's dying?
      Larry: Yeah, she doesn't have much time left.
      Dave: Wow, I'm sorry. What's she dying of?
      Larry: Natural causes.
      Dave: Natural...? How old is this broad?
      Larry: She's 88.
      Dave: You've been doing an 88-year-old woman?
      Larry: What?! No, no, no, I haven't been sleeping with her. She's in a nursing home. I've been volunteering my time with an elderly woman who needed company.
      Dave: I thought you were having a life-altering, character-building experience with an older woman, but you're just helping people?
      Larry: I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but for your information, helping Kathy has brought her real joy in her last days. And giving your time is the greatest reward there is! (leaves)
      Dave: Getting some can be pretty rewarding, too, you know!

    • Dave: What are you talking about? We do a lot of fun things together.
      Vicky: Oh, yeah, we have a ball. There's nothing better than sitting on the couch watching TV, bitching about our kids during commercials.
      Dave: Come on, that's not all we do.
      Vicky: That's true. Sometimes we bitch about our jobs, too.

    • Vicky: Wow, look at that color. Okay, now just breathe it in. Get your nose right in there.
      Dave: All right, I'll see if it could fit. (smells the wine)
      Vicky: Mm, wonderful.
      Dave: Yes.
      Vicky: You can almost detect the rich, French soil and the history that went into the grape. Can you smell it? (smells the wine)
      Dave: Yeah, I can smell it.
      (cut scene)
      Dave: Smells like... (sniffs) ... ****.

    • Dave: (to Vicky) I promise I'll get him to stop seeing her.
      (cut scene)
      Dave: You know, sometimes I feel horrible about lying right to my wife's face. This is not one of those times.

    • Dave: A vacuum sealer?
      Vicky: Yes. That's to preserve leftover wine after the bottle's been opened.
      Dave: Pfft! Who are you kidding? When was the last time you left over any wine?

    • Vicky: Do you know it takes two-and-a-half pounds of grapes to make just one bottle of wine?
      Dave: No, but I do know that it takes one apple and a little piece of tinfoil to make a bong.

    • Vicky: Oh, this one is perfect. A wine appreciation course.
      Dave: Oh, come on, Vicky. Wine knows exactly how much you appreciate it. In fact, vodka and tequila are starting to get jealous.

    • Vicky: I don't know, some women find men who cook very sexy.
      Dave: Yeah. Fat women.

    • Dave: So, uh... Larry's making dinner. Why don't we just buy him an apron that says, "My boyfriend loves my cooking"?
      Vicky: Hey, I don't mind him cooking. Besides, there are plenty of male chefs. Wolfgang Puck, Emeril... Chef Boyardee.
      Dave: Yeah, but this one's more like Chef Girl-ardee.

  • NOTES (1)