The War at Home

Season 2 Episode 2

Dream Crusher

Aired Sunday 7:30 PM Sep 17, 2006 on FOX
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Episode Summary

Dream Crusher
When Larry decides to run for president, Dave is supportive of his son's interest in leadership, until he learns that Larry is actually running for president of the Chess Club. Dave makes a strategic move to prevent Larry from becoming the biggest geek in school. Meanwhile, Hillary thinks she's going to become the next pop star, and after finding an empty condom wrapper in Mike's pants, Dave and Vicki face the dreaded sex talk.moreless

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

    • The song Hillary continually sings off-key throughout this episode is called "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson.

    • Goof: After Dave is through talking to Kenny about running for Chess Club president in the kitchen, the can of chips Dave was holding is left on the table. When Larry comes back and the camera goes to Dave and Kenny, Dave is once again holding the chips.

  • QUOTES (14)

    • Vicky: (about Mike) What are we supposed to say to him? He's too young to be having sex!
      Dave: How about "Gimme five, lil' pimp!"

    • Mike: Why are we talking about sex?
      Vicky: Do you want me to leave?
      Mike: Yes! And take him with you! (points to Dave)

    • Dave: How about being a zoologist?
      Hillary: How about shooting me in the head?
      (cut scene)
      Dave: How about finding a gun and holding still?

    • Hillary: I'm going to be a singer. In fact, when I win my first Grammy, I already have my speech prepared.
      Dave: Yeah, what's that?
      Hillary: This is for my parents... to shove it up their ass!
      Dave: Yeah, you win a Grammy, I'll let you shove it my ass!

    • Hillary: Wait, you guys always told me how beautiful my voice is.
      Dave: Yeah, well, you know... we were lying.
      Hillary: Why would you do that?!
      Vicky: Because, honey, that's what parents do, to build up your self-esteem.
      Dave: Yeah, yeah, I mean, we also told you, you know, you were great at ballet.
      Hillary: I was great at ballet! I was in The Nutcracker, remember?
      Dave: No, no, no, sweetie, you were the nutcracker. You kicked that poor kid, Monty, right in the bean bag.

    • Dave: Hey, what's up, guys? How's the election going? You think you got any chance of winning? (cut scene) Dear God, please, please let him say no. Please. (cut scene ends)
      Larry: It'd be hard not to. I'm running unopposed.
      (cut scene)
      Dave: (to God) Why do you hate me?

    • Dave: (about Hillary) Okay, so for her own good, I'm gonna go upstairs right now, and I'm gonna crush that dream, okay? I'm gonna snap its little neck. Then I'm gonna stomp on it. Then I'm gonna ground it into the dirt like a little bug, you see? Then I'm gonna scrape it off the bottom of my shoe, and I'm gonna flick it at her.
      Vicky: Or... We could be caring, loving parents and pretend to support her on this, and let the rest of the world rip her heart out.
      Dave: If you want to take all the fun out of it.

    • Dave: She thinks that she's going to be a singer and not go to college. What is she, nuts?
      Vicky: Apparently. You hear that singing?
      Dave: Yeah, she has a better chance of finding Osama bin Laden than she does finding the right key.

    • Hillary: Anyway, I'm gonna go work on my scent. (leaves)
      Dave: Scent, huh? What the hell's her scent gonna smell like.
      (cut scene)
      Hillary: Tone Deaf. Tone Deaf. Tone Deaf.
      Dave: (in a European accent) Tone Deaf, from the Hillary Collection. It smells as bad as she sounds.

    • Vicky: I ran into Grace Chan, and she told me that Tina got accepted into a six-year combined med school program. Why can't Hillary be more like her?
      Dave: Ini all fairness, Tina Chan is Chinese. You know, maybe she's just more focused because, you know, she knows that she wants to do, you know, she has a dream to shoot for.
      Vicky: Maybe she just has better parents.
      Dave: Yes, but in all fairness, they, too, are Chinese.

    • Dave: You know what the problem with this country is? Everyone has a freakin' dream, and it's only in America. I mean, have you ever heard of "the Canadian Dream"? No. And there's no such thing as "the Mexican Dream" other than to sneak across the border to have "the American Dream." As much as I hate dreams, yeah, I can't help it, you know? I still have hopes and dreams for my own kids. Mainly that they'll sneak across the border into Mexico and leave me the hell alone.

    • Dave: Hey, uh, do you know that, uh, Larry's running for class president?
      (Vicky laughs)
      Dave: He could win.
      (Vicky continues laughing)
      Dave: He could.
      Vicky: Honey, Larry couldn't win a school election if he was home-schooled.

    • Dave: (about Larry) The chess club? Why doesn't he just run for president of the "I Will Never Touch a Girl's Chest" club?

    • Vicky: (about Mike) He's not emotionally ready for sex. I mean, you're barely emotionally ready for sex.
      Dave: What the hell do emotions have to do with sex?

  • NOTES (0)