The War At Home Season 2 Episode 13

Dave: I got a better game for you. It's called "Let's go pick through the neighbors' garbage and see if they threw out any recyclables."
Mike: What? Dad, I don't want to go through the neighbors' garbage.
Dave: Mike, no one does, okay? But it's either that, or one day, paddling down the street on the top of our kitchen table, looking for dogs to eat. All right? I mean, you cried after watching Benji. How are you gonna feel after eating him?

Dave: First, I have to, you know, drag three garbage cans into the street each week, and now this environmental crap is seeping its way into our mindless entertainment. You know what? This is where I draw the line. I don't want to do this!
Larry: Actually, you make me take out the garbage.
Dave: That's not the point.
Hillary: Can we just forget about this whole thing?
Dave: I don't want to be here.
Larry: Fine with me.
Mike: You know what? Seriously, I can just watch this alone in my own room.
Vicky: Hey! We are going to watch this movie together and enjoy it and remember it as a lovely family time. Now, start the movie, and everyone sit down and shut the **** up!

Mike: We're watching the critically acclaimed film, An Inconvenient Truth.
Dave: An Inconvenient Truth? Who the hell's in that?
Larry: Al Gore.
Dave: Al Gore? What the hell kind of action hero is Al Gore? Who'd he ever kill with an assault rifle? At least that Cheney guy blew somebody's face off with a shotgun.

Dave: Wow, I can't remember the last time you made these.
Vicky: I do. It was four years ago -- the last time we had family movie night, which, I'm excited to say, I am re-instating starting tonight.
Dave: Ugh! Why? Sweetie, why are you doing this to me? I already hate Monday through Friday. You got to ruin Sunday now?

Dave: Look, about this college interview thing. Look, I really think I should help you get prepared.
Hillary: Don't worry about it. I'll just go in there and be myself.
Dave: Oh, Hillary. Hillary, Hillary, Hillary. Look, maybe if I could afford to build the school a new library, you could be yourself. But, unfortunately, you're gonna be competing against people who are much, much... much better than you.
Hillary: Well, I wouldn't say that.
Dave: Well, I would.

Vicky: (about Hillary) Doesn't it bother you that she'd be so far away?
Dave: Oh, come on, Vicky, come on, all right? How long have we been talking about getting these kids out of this house and on their own.
Vicky: Since they were born.
Dave: That's right.
Vicky: I know, but now that it's here, it's just, I'm not... guess I'm just not loving the idea of how quiet it's gonna be around here.
Dave: Quiet? What? I ain't going anywhere.