The War at Home

Season 2 Episode 20

The War of the Golds

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Aired Sunday 7:30 PM Mar 25, 2007 on FOX
8.8
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Episode Summary

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The War of the Golds
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After a car accident, Dave and Vicky decide to look over their living wills again, and ask their friends Jeff and Mindy to become their children's legal guardians should anything happen to them. They can't accept due to already doing the same thing for their other friends, so disagreements between Dave and Vicky start up, causing a huge fight. Larry thinks they may be getting a divorce, so he, Mike, and Hillary come up with a plan to get them back together.moreless

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    • TRIVIA (2)

      • When Dave sits down to talk with the lawyer, his bottle of beer magically opens itself when the camera angle changes.

      • The spinning newspaper at the end of the show has the date printed as April 29, 2007; this may have been the original intended airdate.

    • QUOTES (10)

      • Larry: Look at this! (passes the papers) Divorce papers!
        Hillary: Let me see that.
        Mike: Division of assets... (pauses) Wait, they have assets?

      • Dave: I don't want to think about us not being healthy, alive, or together, all right? You know, my worst nightmare is not being with you and not having my family.
        Vicky: Why didn't you tell me that?
        Dave: That's what I've been trying to do!
        Vicky: Oh, you mean, like when you wrote "bitch" on the mirror in soap?

      • Larry: Yeah, but I thought Mom and Dad were happy.
        Hillary: Really? Douchebag and Skank never struck you as odd pet names?

      • (Dave unplugs Vicky's hairdryer)
        Vicky: Hey! What the hell did you do that for?
        Dave: What? You said you wanted me to pull the plug, so I pulled the plug.
        Vicky: You actually heard something that I said.
        Dave: Yeah.
        Vicky: It's amazing that you can hear anything with your head shoved so far up your ass!

      • Vicky: I am taking your signed Derek Jeter baseball!
        Dave: Oh, yo, you touch my baseball, I'm telling you right now, your hair curlers are gonna be swimming in a warm stream of my pee-pee! (chases Vicky upstairs)
        Larry: (to Mike & Hillary) Can you believe all that yelling and screaming? What are we gonna do?
        Hillary: That's the last time I'm using Mom's hair curlers.

      • Dave: I'm taking the damn china!
        Vicky: What are you talk...? Stop acting like a two-year-old!
        Dave: Stop telling me what to do!
        Vicky: No, give me those! You're gonna break 'em!
        Dave: Don't you touch the china, okay? I love this china. Okay, this china is the only reason why I'm still here. Don't touch!
        Vicky: So help me God, if anything happens to that china, you won't need Dr. Miller, because I will take your golf clubs and use them to give you a prostate exam!

      • Dave: All right, so are we done?
        Jamie: Uh, actually, if you really want to cover everything, we really should spend a few minutes talking about a post-nup.
        Dave: Why would we need to talk about that?
        Jamie: Well, a lot of couples are doing them. You know, in the event that you two end up splitting up.
        Dave: Oh... you're just a bag of sunshine, ain't ya, lady?

      • Jamie: I mean, what would you want to happen if you found yourself in a persistant vegetative state?
        Dave: I would like to be brought out of it.
        Vicky: Well, I don't want to suffer at all. Really, no heroic measures, just pull my plug right away.
        Dave: Not me. You keep those machines working overtime. Okay, I don't care if it costs this family every penny it has. You keep me going.
        Vicky: Even if there's no hope?
        Dave: Living without hope - that's what I do, Vicky.

      • Vicky: We need to choose somebody who would have guardianship over the kids.
        Dave: Look, I don't care that much about them now, all right? You think I'm going to care about them when I'm dead?

      • Vicky: Oh, my God, that car came out of nowhere. Five more inches to the right, and we all would have been killed.
        Dave: Or worse.
        Vicky: What's worse that being killed?
        Dave: Oh, well, your face could have been horribly disfigured, and I would have had to spend the rest of my life with people whispering behind my back, "Eh, what's the looker doing with that monster?"
        Vicky: Well, you know, eventually, you get used to it.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • Rocky Movies
        As the end credits role, the Rocky theme is played and Dave is in a boxing ring beating up his family. Then they gang up on him.

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