The West Wing Season 1 Episode 4

Margaret: You spend too much money.
Leo: And you can squeeze the life out of a nickel better than any ten people I know.
Margaret: Well, excuse me for not having made forty thousand a pop on the lecture circuit.
Leo : Stop reading the disclosure reports! They're none of your business.

Josh: L.B.J. never would've taken this kind of crap from Democrats in Congress. He'd have said, "You're voting my way, in exchange for which, it is possible that I might remember your name." Pal, we need to win. And I mean win. We need to take a curtain call and a victory lap. And that's how we get momentum. We get it by being tough. We give away nothing. That's what I'm taking to Leo.

(referring to the song used to play Bartlet offstage after his speech):
Sam: Happy Days Are Here Again?
Mandy: He likes it.
Sam: Who?
Mandy: The President.
Sam: Well, we try not to let the President make aesthetic decisions.

Bartlet: You know, you are what my mother calls a pain in the ass.
Toby: Well, that's what my mother calls it to.

Josh: You know, I'm so sick of Congress I could vomit.

C.J.: Mr. President. Did you by any chance take your back pills?
Bartlet: I don't mind telling you C.J. I was in a little pain there.
Leo: Which did you take, sir, the Vicodin or the Percocet?
Bartlet: I wasn't supposed to take 'em both?

Donna: You won our award for best gift valued over twenty-five dollars on the financial disclosure report.
Josh: Really?
Donna: Yeah.
Josh: What won it for me?
Donna: The 1189 dollar Viennatelli silk smoking jacket from Miss Sarah Wissinger.
Josh (remembering): Ah, yes.
Donna: You're also the runner up, by the way, with the 345 dollar antique scrimshaw cigarette holder, also from Miss Sarah Wissinger.
Josh: Well, Sarah was very fond of me.
Donna: I'd imagine with that smoking jacket and the cigarette holder, you were quite the dandy.

CJ: Excuse me, Toby. I'm heading out to lunch and I'm a little short. You wouldn't happen to have $125,000 I could borrow?

Leo: There are two things in the world you never want to let people see how you make 'em: laws and sausages.

Reporter: I'm curious about the President's farm in Manchester. The property value increased $750,000. What's that due to?
C.J.: Secret Service improvements.
Reporter: Can you go into detail, please?
C.J.: The property now includes a helipad and the ability to run a global war from the sun porch.

Josh: You know, I realize that as an adult not everyone shares my view of the world, and with an issue as hot as gun control I'm prepared to accept a lot of different points of view as being perfectly valid, but we can all get together on the grenade launcher, right?

Sam: I don't mean to step on your toes, but you might want to rethink marrying the lines, 'Kids are dead! Kids are dead!' and 'Happy Days Are Here Again'.