Jim goes to arrest a Mexican bandit disguised as a notorious outlaw...but the villain's girlfriend recognizes him.
Gadgets: Knockout gas vial in boot heel compartment
Disguises: Mojave Mike
In the scene where Jim and Artemus ride up together to see Vasquez, they are both on horses. However, a few seconds later Artemus is standing on the ground with his horse tied up a few feet away.
During the scene where Vasquez is talking to Linda about getting her a bodyguard, to the right of the screen a piece of a candle falls off and lands in camera view.
Artemus: There you are. And very nice, if I do say so myself.
Jim: I don't think I'm ugly enough.
Artemus: Oh, well, you've got to feel the part, you know. When you're walking around, think to yourself, "I'm ugly,boy, am I ugly."
Tennyson: If I were you, sir, I'd try a cast in the left eye.
Artemus: Oh, now, he doesn't want to be too ugly. You know, there's a girl out there... imitates steam whistle)
Jim: I'm... I'm ugly enough.
Viper: Gramps, Vasquez wants to see you.
Artemus: Mojave's the name, sonny. Mojave Mike. I ever tell you about how I got that there...
Artemus: As soon as I finish my beer. I ever tell you about how I got that there medal of... (Viper turns over Artemus' glass of beer) I'm finished. We can go now.
Artemus: $10,000 reward, dead or alive. You know what that means? That means if he was to happen to die, there'd be a corpse laying around here in Casa Verde worth $10,000 cash on delivery in Laredo.
Charlie: What are you going to do about it, Sheriff?
Sheriff: That's what they keep asking me.
Sheriff: Once a week, a telegram from Washington. "What are you doing about the Vasquez Gang?" Maybe it's time I sent a telegram.
Sheriff: "Dear Washington, what are you doing about the Vasquez Gang? Love, Sheriff Cantrell."
Linda: You know something? I almost believe you. You're really funny. You can make a girl feel like a queen, and a fool, all at the same time. (kisses Jim)
Jim: They're watching us. Pretend I am asking you for directions. Turn around and point.
(Charlie points and Jim hits him over the head)
Charlie: (being carried away by Jim) You almost hit me with that thing.
Jim: Quiet, you're supposed to be unconscious.
Artie: He hears all this racket from the saloon. He figures he has to do something about taking care of the woman. There's no other way but to stop this here fellow. So the doc comes running downstairs into the saloon, goes right up to the piano player. He says to him, "Quiet down. You know there is a woman upstairs dying." Piano player says, "No, but hum a few bars of it and maybe I can pick up the tune."
Jim: Did you win all that in, uh... some sort of shooting contest?
Francesco Vasquez: Prizes of conquest, Senor Slade. I was ranking officer with Emperor Maximilian, before his untimely downfall.
Jim: You mean you lost, huh?
(Jim breaks a glass)
Jim: Ah, hey, I'm sorry about that. Listen... let me buy you another, huh?
Francesco Vasquez: I wouldn't dream of it. In any case, the glass was 200 years old.
Jim: Well, then you got your money's worth, right?
Jim: You better get back to Casa Verde. They're liable to miss you.
Artie: All right. (sticks out hand) Well, I'm going to be there overnight, won't I? I'll need a hotel room.
Jim: Yeah, you might, but Mojave Mike he never heard of a hotel room. Is there a livery stable?
Artie: Livery stable! What about the smell?
Jim: Well, the horses will just...
Jim and Artemus: ...have to get use to it.
Artie: (as Mojave Mike) Well uh,... of course I didn't want to mention this to Sheriff Gomez, you understand, but Frank and me used to ride together back in Kansas.
Francesco Vasquez: Then he is your friend...
Artie: That's right, sonny.
Francesco Vasquez: Whom you would betray for a $10,000 reward?
Artie: Well, now, wait one minute. He's a good friend. That's the least I'll take for him.
Charlie: It's the Vasquez Gang, Sheriff.
Sheriff Cantrell: You're a good deputy, Charlie. You don't catch anybody, but you sure keep me informed.
Susan E. Kesler, author of The Wild Wild West, the Series, describes this episode as "probably the worst Wild Wild West ever made."
Commercial breaks: Linda with picture (ll), Linda with derringer (UR), Jim at gunpoint (lr), the Wanderer departs
This is one of the few episodes that opens with neither of the regulars in the opening teaser sequence.
This is the last episode for both Charles Davis (Tennyson) and Collier Young, the producer.
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