The X-Files

Season 3 Episode 18

Teso Dos Bichos

1
Aired Sunday 9:00 PM Mar 08, 1996 on FOX
SUBMIT REVIEW

Episode Fan Reviews (12)

6.6
out of 10
Average
271 votes
  • Teso Dos Bichos

    9.0
    Teso Dos Bichos was a superb and horrifyingly entertaining episode of The X-Files. I really enjoyed watching because the story was intriguing and also had some cringe worthy moments. I don't like rats and there were plenty in this episode. I did like the whole Shaman story line and the curse. It was interesting to see some native south american mythology come into play. My favorite part is when Mulder and Scully are in the tunnel tracking rats only to be attacked by vicious cats. It was hilarious and scary at the same time. I certainly look forward to watching the next episode!!!!!!!!!
  • Absolutely the worst X=Files Episode I've Seen So Far.

    1.0
    Absolutely the worst X=Files Episode I've Seen So Far. The Episode Space was better than this by a longshot. You would assume it would be a decent episode as it revolves around a Shaman burial considered to be sacred. However, the "spirit/antagonist/once shown as possibly a jaguar as the murderer in two murders/insane cats at the end" was shallow. Then the whole cat eye Shaman guy at the end to make you think maybe he was resposible for some of those murders was far-fetched. Like hes going to travel to the United States and then randomly attack from trees in a huge city without being noticed. This has to be on Gillian Anderson/David Duchovnys why did we do this episode.
  • The person below me who said "Lame" = right on the money

    6.5
    Reading some of the other reviews, there's not really too much else I can say about this episode that people haven't already said better than me. This was a disappointing episode that felt rushed and lazy, as if the writers suddenly decided they needed an episode to meet the quota and the end result was pretty bad.

    I suppose looking back on the episode after the show is over, it won't be as bad as I thought, but so far, Season 3 has been great, and this episode felt like a damper on what was a great streak of episodes.

    The problem, for me, was the plot. It started off about a vase that was taken from an ancient area and contained the spirit of a shaman that was killing people as punishment (at least I think so...) What gets me is that the spirit appeared at first as a jaguar and then as a rat and then as cats? I'm not sure I even understand what the spirit's actual form was supposed to be, and I don't think I really care at this point. The case was solved in the end, and this isn't the first time I finish an X-Files episode without fully understanding everything.
  • Well, it is the X-files, so I want to say I was marginally entertained. But when I say marginally I mean, I would like to disown this episode on behalf of the series.

    6.5
    First, we have 30 minutes or so without anything interesting happening, and without any snappy Mulder-Scully dialog. Then some other stuff happens that made no sense, then there were some rats- er some cats- or a jaguar... maybe. Then Scully (who is allergic to cats) was attacked by a puppet, and the cats mysteriously disappeared. "Go with it Scully" -- Yes, go with it, the actors knew this episode was going to be completely and totally uninteresting, so they had to convince the audience the series was still good with snappy catch phrases... apparently.

    I don't know how they managed to make this episode so unentertaining. Actually, I do know: They ignored all the charms of the show. Mulder and Scully hardly interacted (except that hilarious line, Ladies first). Mulder hardly seemed to believe in the curse himself. Scully hardly protested when he put forth that theory. And the creature didn't seem to have any form, and manifested itself differently every time there was a new death, so there was nothing to be afraid of. Even the greatest shows can take an episode off . . .
  • If the cats ate the rats and the dog ate the cat, what ate the dog?

    5.0
    Oh my, this is Season Three's version of "Space" (the worst episode of Season One, perhaps the worst episode of X-Files ever). This episode is easily the worst of Season Three. It is a total mess, funny at times, but not necessarily intended to be a spoof like the brilliant "Coprophages."

    The episode opens with all these men wearing goofy looking knit caps, you know, because we are in Ecuador, get it? A decidely unscary "artifact" is unearthed and a scientist is attacked by a scary looking jaguar in his tent.

    Now, if they had used the jaguar for the rest of the killings in the US, the episode might have been attained "average" status. Instead, they use cats (I think) or was it the rats? I laughed out loud when all the little feral kitties jumped out of their boxes in the sewer. It was very, very stupid, but kinda cool in a surreal way.

    Anyway, the problem here is that it makes no sense for cats (or rats, or dogs, or whatever) to have dragged off all the victims so abruptly. It just seemed like a cheat from the writers, who probably didn't know what killed the victims either.

    The only saving grace in this episode are some of the hilarious one-liners by Mulder and the stunned, disgusted looks given by Scully, especially as Mulder goes to lift the toilet lids and when he starts to descend into the sewer.
  • Totally lame

    7.0
    When I read that even the cast and crew of the show hadn't liked the final result of this episode, I didn't have to think hard for the obvious reason. It may have started strong but the whole cat thing it's so far-fetched it makes this episode lame and a waste.

    The only thing I believe can be rescued from this episode in the 'physical' language between Mulder and Scully. He's constantly putting his hand on her back, grabbing her by the arms to help her stand up and teasing her with his 'Ladies first' line. Their relationship changed a while ago and these littles details makes us shippers crying for more.
  • Nothing in here but us chic-- er.. cats? Or was it rats? Or a jaguar spirit? Who can tell.

    6.0
    What a confusing mess. Reading that Episode Note about "Second Salmon" script sheds a little light on the eventual mess that this episode becomes. It's a mish-mash and a hodge-podge, a total misunderstanding of what they were trying to accomplish. Nothing is clear! Forget the answers, what is the question?! Are they really trying to convince me that hundreds of cats attacked the victims and then disappeared down the sewer without leaving ANY physical evidence of their presence at ANY of the crime scenes? What is the purpose of all these red herrings? So the writer could cleverly produce yet another Deus Ex Machina (Cats!) from out of thin air? I only forgive this episode because DD and GA pull it off as well as they can, and because the rats are so gross. Second Salmon, indeed.
  • Bad for its conclusion.

    7.5
    Before watching this episode, I had heard that this episode was really awful, terrible...etc and a let down for Season 3. I was under the impression that this episode is going to suck. Maybe because I was expecting this to be a really deplorable episode, it turned out somewhat good. I was halfway through the episode when I thought to myself "Hey, this isnt so bad"... then the ending came and just everything turned upside down.

    I dont hate the X-Files episodes for their conclusions, which are very abrupt at times but rather for them being pointless, hopeless and tedious. This episode may classify in the hopeless category but for me it doesnt qualify in the other two, making it watchable and enjoyable.

    Some parts of this episode were just truly scary and I found myself to be pausing the CD after every few minutes to get ahold of my breath. The performances weren't really.... that good, especially the supporting cast. The storyline is absurd but tolerable. Overall this episode was one of the okay episodes of the X-Files. It gets a B- from me. Definately watch if you can as its not as bad as you may think
  • good laugh

    9.0
    “Teso Dos Bichos” is about a curse. After digging up an ancient artefact a few people die. Mulder and Skully investigate and it seems to be an above average episode. The episode redeems itself with a mad ending witch I thought was hilarious. Through out the episode people go missing and when the episode ends it leaves the viewer in the state of WTF??? Anyhow, apart from the most stupid ending in history this is an average episode with the usual cliché “there’s a curse on the old object” plot line. I would recommend this episode for a good laugh though.
  • The one with the killer cats

    9.9
    ‘Teso Dos Bichos’ isn’t the show’s most beloved episode, but for some strange and unexplainable reason. I love it, curses + Indians + cats = *love*

    It begins with some men going to take some bones of a holy woman (or something like that) and one of those men sees the woman on the top of a hill. She doesn’t look pleased and something says that anyone who takes those bones will have a curse, animals will attack them or something.

    So anyway, the leader gets attacked in the night by. Something that looks like a small tiger.

    Everywhere is blood, lots of blood. At first we were made to believe that rats were the killers, they showed up everywhere and apparently were trying to escape from the sewers so we saw rats in the toilets and in cars and everything. Yeah, kinda gross.

    So anyway, the guy who saw the woman has a girlfriend. He tries to shut her down because he’s afraid she’ll get hurt, one day she (and her dog) hear a noise in the bathroom. Something comes out the toilet, when Mulder arrives to look after her he only finds blood all over the bathroom. Well, she was stupid. She should have just gone.

    Scully doesn’t have much luck either, the suspect is not at his home, instead some drugs or something. In the bathroom they find the guy, he is all covered in blood but claims not to have done it. Meanwhile Mulder suspects rats because everywhere they find blood or anything, there are rats. In the toilets and in the stomach of the girl’s dog who died from rat poison, but also. He had eaten up a cat, with a rat in it’s stomach. Okay, something strange right?

    I also want to take a note in saying that the supporting cats was great, they were all great actors and well casted. So anyway, our lovely agents leave the guy all alone in the room and when they come back he’s footsie. They go into the sewers where they find bodies, eyes all drained up (okay, here is a plot hole. How come those bodies are there when there was soo many blood at the murder places? Did the cats dragged their victims into the sewers? Yeah that is dumb, but I still loved the episode) and then a cat attacks Scully.

    Tumb tumb tumb, we have a killer. The cats are evil! So they follow our lovely agents but they are able to escape from the evil mad pus-sies.

    Everything goes back to normal after the urn is returned and back to it’s home country, cats? Those are gone.

    This episode is filled with plot holes but seriously, almost all episodes are. I don’t get why this one is so hated, it’s fun to watch and for me being a cat person, it’s an awesome episode.
  • With the dogs and cats... And the flies and rats... In the rot and the rust... In the ashes and the dust...

    8.5
    "Teso Dos Bichos" is an intriguing episode, the second written by John Shiban for the series (Shiban now works on Supernatural). The storyline follows the disturbance of an Amaru urn -- and the awakening of a spirit that protects the urn from unwanted contact.

    There are quickly many disappearances following the unearthing of the urn. Also, strange behavior is noted in one of the scientists on sight (named Bilac). When his behavior appears suspicious to Mulder and Scully, things become even more out of hand.

    This episode is full of those "horror moments". Several of them are fairly effective -- I was especially impressed with the rats in the toilet (foreshadowed so perfectly by the rattling in the bathroom). The scary-looking cats was also a nice touch. Also a good use of symbolism here, as cats are often given a somewhat ominous lore in many horror stories.

    Good ol' David Duchovny does great ad-libbing in this episode with the scene where Mulder and Scully go "underground" to search for the soon-to-be missing Bilac. "Ladies first!" he urges Scully. Scully gives a classic look of disapproving disgust. Another great example of unbeatable Duchovny/Anderson interaction.

    I love the feeling this episode evokes. Fairly serious all around but hints of fun surrounding it. There were elements of the "nudge-nudge, wink-wink" throughout the episode, most notably with the bathroom scene and the scary cats scene. I think this made the episode more successful than it could have been, and the credit here has to go to director Kim Manners (who also works for Supernatural now, by the way). Manners is quite skilled at making a scene edgy, but with a comedic/suspenseful combination. Sort of like how the cats in this episode first seem scary, then seem rather humorous.

    All in all, "Teso Dos Bichos" is a quality effort. But then again, I would expect nothing less from The X-Files.
  • An Amaru urn is unearthed in South America against the will of the natives doing the digging, and is trasported to the United States. The urn is brought to a museum, and suspicious disapperences start to happen.

    6.0
    This one seemed a little more than out of character to me. I know that when you have multiple writers for a show with each of them taking turns at scripts, you're bound to end up with some different ideas; but this was beyond different. The whole thing was a take off of King Tut and the whole 'Pharoah's Curse' thing, but it seemed almost goofy at times. Never actually seeing the supposed spirit doing all the killing was more than frustrating, and the story just seemed to be full of holes. I mean, killer cats...? I think that one is beyond the realm of the X-files. Even some of the banter between Mulder and Scully seemed out of character, almost as if something else was trying to be achieved within their characters. I'm not sure what was going on with this one, but it was disappionting.
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