Labidocrites

Season 1, Episode 3, Aired
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Episode Summary

Newport struggles to pretend to be a liberal to have sex with the hottest girl he's ever met.
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      • (Craig super-imposes George Clooney's head on a photo of Brian) Brian: Hey, I look like George Clooney. Edit
      • "I've been pretending to be a Liberal. But I'm not. I'm a Republican. I believe in taking the fight to the terrorists. I believe there is no vast right-wing conspiracy because if there was I'd be in it. I believe that homeless people do not need welfare. I've seen homeless people, they need treadmills. I believe we can't pull out of Iraq, because pulling out early is what got Bill Clinton impeached. I believe universal health care is a horrible idea, because I don't want the government telling me who is going to shove their finger up my ass. I believe in Bush, because Bush shoots first, and answers questions later. And I think you get a lot less questions that way. I'm not insane, I'm pissed. I'm a Republican. I won't write you a check, I'll give you the solution to the problem. But as I stand here tonight, there is a new women in my life, and I have to hope that in the same way I am willing to overlook her simplified, juvenile, naive view of the world, she's in turn willing to accept my correct, well-informed, fair and balanced view of things." -Newport's acceptance speech Edit

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    Watch This Just In Full Episodes

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    Season 1 Episodes

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    Ep 6
    Bushwhacked
    Ep 5
    Blackjacked
    Ep 4
    Iraqathon
    Ep 3
    Labidocrites
    Ep 2
    Vagicentrics
    Ep 1
    Chappaquidicide

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