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Season 1 Episode 3

Labidocrites

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Aired Sunday 10:30 PM Mar 28, 2004 on Spike TV
7.1
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Labidocrites
AIRED:
Newport struggles to pretend to be a liberal to have sex with the hottest girl he's ever met.

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (2)

      • (Craig super-imposes George Clooney's head on a photo of Brian)
        Brian: Hey, I look like George Clooney.

      • "I've been pretending to be a Liberal. But I'm not.
        I'm a Republican. I believe in taking the fight to
        the terrorists. I believe there is no vast right-wing
        conspiracy because if there was I'd be in it. I
        believe that homeless people do not need welfare.
        I've seen homeless people, they need treadmills. I
        believe we can't pull out of Iraq, because pulling out
        early is what got Bill Clinton impeached. I believe
        universal health care is a horrible idea, because I
        don't want the government telling me who is going to
        shove their finger up my ass. I believe in Bush,
        because Bush shoots first, and answers questions
        later. And I think you get a lot less questions that
        way. I'm not insane, I'm pissed. I'm a Republican.
        I won't write you a check, I'll give you the solution
        to the problem. But as I stand here tonight, there is
        a new women in my life, and I have to hope that in the
        same way I am willing to overlook her simplified,
        juvenile, naive view of the world, she's in turn
        willing to accept my correct, well-informed, fair and
        balanced view of things." -Newport's acceptance speech

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