Walter: My name is Walter Speckman. Twenty-six years old. I ran out of money so I had to move back home and I'm currently washing dogs until I save up enough money to move out. But the thing is, I buried the headline. Because in about two seconds, everything is going to change.
Belinda: All work and no play makes Jack my first husband.
Walter: I appreciate your concern, and I know that you care about me.
Belinda: I care enough about you to murder anyone who hurts you, if that's what you mean by "caring."
Walter: I'm going to be late for work.
Belinda: Walter, you're too old for me to lock up in the basement, but you're too young to know that dreams are just lies that we tell ourselves while we're asleep.
Walter: You ever wonder where courage comes from?
Lily: I can't believe your mom still has this old car.
Walter: The engine runs on anger and wishful thinking. Good gas mileage, too.
Walter: On average, lightning strikes the earth about a hundred times every second. But your chances of getting hit by lightning while sitting on a sofa with a broken heart? One in two hundred and eighty thousand.
Walter: Today was the day I proved I was different. This is not exactly what I had in mind. Or, as my mom would say, "When God closes a door, he slams it on your fingers."
Walter: So, Mom, uh, where's your fake cigarettes?
Belinda: I quit fake-smoking. It's fake-bad for you.
Walter: Look, dude, what do you want from me?
Troy: Ideally? I want you to help me fight evil and make the world a better place.
Walter: Wow. Creepy and crazy. Good luck with that.
Walter: Whatever I move, I can only move it three inches. It's the worst superpower ever. It's like having an extra thumb.
Troy: Oh, you need to expand your line of thinking.
Walter: Bar bets? Uh, the circus?
Troy: You have no idea what you can do. Not yet.
Walter: Invisibility. There's a superpower.
Troy: Doesn't exist. I checked into it. Walter, I know exactly how you feel. You feel lost and alone. You feel like nobody could ever understand. You feel like a mistake nature made. But that's not who you are.
Walter: Who am I?
Troy: You're a superhero.
Troy: You want to know the key to happiness?
Walter: There's a key? Too bad it's not a lock. I could open it.
Watts: You need a secret identity.
Walter: I do?
Carlos: Everybody has one.
Walter: They do?
Watts: No. Hmm. But you need a sidekick.
Walter: I do?
Carlos: Everybody has one.
Walter: They do?
Watts: No. Heh-heh. But you need a catchphrase.
Watts: No. Catchphrase isn't a bad idea. They're good for team spirit. We're very enthusiastic about the spirit.
Walter: Wait, my catchphrase! Up, up, and a limited distance away!
Watts: Good catchphrase.
Troy: Do something for me. Step to the window. Look at the stars.
Walter: Can't see them. That's probably due to city lights, but there could also be a cloud cover or smog layer.
Troy: Walter. You can't see the stars but you know they're up there. It's not faith or a good guess, it's a fact. Courage inside you is like the stars. You can't see it but you know it's there. That's a fact.
Macklin: Okay, uh, just to sum up. After you got fried by a lightning bolt, you discovered that you could move any object 3". Then you joined a team of superheroes to fight evil, but ended up grabbing a little girl instead. Also, one of us is really high.
Macklin: And the hottie?
Macklin: What's her, uh, her superpower?
Walter: She can make you happy, she can make you sad.
Macklin: I meet a lot of girls like that.
Belinda: Well, look what the cat dragged in. We don't have a cat, that's just an expression. But if we did, I would have spent the night telling Snowball that my son was missing and he didn't answer my calls, and I was afraid he was lying in a ditch somewhere. You know, the default ditch that every mother sees in her head when her child doesn't come home.
Walter: I'm about to do something stupid and I need your help.
Macklin: Is it really stupid? (Walter nods) Cool.
Brandon: No. No, I don't.
Watts: No. No, I don't.
Brandon: Come on. I'm normal. That's what you guys call me, right? "Captain Normal."
Watts: What's wrong with normal?
Cassie: Sorry if I got you into trouble.
Walter: Trouble is my busi...
Macklin: Trouble isn't really his business.
Walter: (to his mother) When I was struck by lightning, a strange power was given to me. And while I resisted it at first, I eventually found common cause with a group of similarly gifted men and women who fight evil. So, basically, I'm not washing dogs anymore. I'm going to save the world instead.
Walter: My name is Walter Speckman. I'm twenty-six years old and this is the best break I ever had. But if I knew what happened next, I wouldn't dance. I'd run.
Walter: And then, uh, he threw all her shoes on the front lawn and listened to Phantom of the Opera for three months.
Although there are many film and TV adaptations of Gaston Leroux's famous 1909-1910 serial about the mysterious masked marauder of the Paris Opera House, the best-known musical version is Andrew Lloyd Webber's 1986 version. As of the time this episode aired, the musical was the most financially successful theatrical show in history.
Walter: I loved you in seventh grade when you wore that same Dexter's Laboratory t-shirt for a year.
Referencing the animated series (1996-2003) created by Genndy Tartakovsky, featuring the exploits of boy genius Dexter, who has a secret super-scientific laboratory in his bedroom. Typically either his ditzy sister Dee Dee inadvertently causes a problem, or something goes wrong with one of Dexter's gadgets.
Walter: So that's how the Justice League came to Park Ridge, huh?
Referencing the Justice League (sometimes Justice League of America, Justice League International, Justice League Europe, Justice League Elite Extreme Justice, and Justice League Task Force), which first appeared in DC Comics' The Brave and the Bold #28 (February/March 1960). They are the DC Comics' universe premiere group of superheroes, typically featuring the company's most powerful and/or famous heroes. Members have included Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, the Flash, Green Lantern, and hundreds more.