Titus

Season 2 Episode 15

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Aired Unknown Feb 20, 2001 on FOX
8.6
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Episode Summary

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Erin gets Titus and Ken to drive across the country together---by telling each that the other is dying.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Lee Garlington

    Lee Garlington

    Sue

    Guest Star

    Fred Sanders

    Fred Sanders

    Perry

    Guest Star

    Phoenix Forsyth

    Phoenix Forsyth

    Christopher Titus (age 10)

    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (9)

      • Ken: Your sister moved to Africa. It wasn't because of me.
        Titus: Oh, no, she got sucked in by the brochure with the tribal wars and the Ebola.

      • Titus: The father animal and the son animal are back at each other's throats. The natural order has been restored. Now all that's left is 37 hours of torture. No, wait, 48 hours. We have to go around Texas because Dad's still sort of wanted there.

      • Titus: I wanna talk about the bone cancer.
        Ken: (stutters) Why'd you have to say it?
        Titus: Oh, you're-you're right. Bone cancer is so cancery sounding. Let's call it somethin else.
        Ken: Death.
        Titus: No. No, somethin-somethin nice.
        Ken: Malignancy?
        Titus: Dad, no. Raisins, huh? We'll call it raisins.
        Ken: Raisins. They're-they're just cancerous grapes.

      • Titus: This could be my last road trip with Dad. Growin' up, road trips with Dad was somethin I hated. Sittin still for hours, singin that stupid song, "Hundred bottles of beer on the wall, hundred bottles of beer." Dad, you know, keepin up with the song.

      • Erin: It would mean a lot to Christopher if you would just ride with him to deliver the stock car to North Carolina.
        Ken: I'd love to, but I just remembered I'd rather have hemorrhoid surgery, in a third world country, by a blind guy.

      • Erin: You have to spend more time with your dad. Take him on your trip to North Carolina.
        Titus: Ooh. Two and a half days on an eighteen-wheeler with Dad. That's great! You know what else I can do? I could put a handful of thumbtacks in my underwear.

      • Titus: You're not dying?
        Ken Titus: No.
        Titus: Damnit!
        Ken Titus: You're not dying?
        Titus: No!
        Ken Titus: Crap!

      • Titus: Isn't there some piece of wisdom you want to share with me?
        Ken Titus: Well... You drink, you get laid, and then you die.
        Titus: Oh, that is going on the headstone.

      • Titus: By messing with the natural order of things, the female is creating two species alien to their environment: the compassionate father, and the understanding son.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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