Ron Artest gives out his cellphone number, which causes the TMZ staffers to call him; Kate Beckinsale gets pissed by something the TMZ camera man says; and Queen on the Scene loves Steven Seagal, although she doesn't know any of his movies.
Chuck Liddell comes into the TMZ newsroom; Matt Damon doesn't Twitter, thankfully; Janice Dickinson doesn't want aspiring actor's reels; Jeff Goldblum doesn't want to talk about his personal life; Jillian Murray puts sunglasses on her dog's butt; and Jon Gosselin's pick-up line "do you want a cigarette?"
Gabriel Union isn't pregnant, because she's drinking and then driving; Hugh Jackman is the nicest guy ever; who taught Larry King how to use a cell phone?; and mini-Katy Perry works it.
Betty White yells at the TMZ camera man, then makes Queen on the Scene cry; Terry Crews talks with his nipples; Michael Weatherly is a nudist?; Maggie Wheeler does her Janis shtick; and Ludacris makes the TMZ camera man look silly.
Kate Gosselin denies that she's getting a divorce or being separated; Gordon Ramsay can beat up Bobby Flay; Jared Fogel is a nobody; Vanilla Ice is back in the studio and is going to tour, with M.C. Hammer.
Lindsay Lohan doesn't like to fight; Sheryl Crow pulls a Paris Hilton, because she's still wrong; a homeless man want's Donald Faison's autograph, so he can sell it after he dies; Jamie Lynn Sigler isn't an assassin; Joel and Benji Madden dress exactly the same, like four-year-old twins.
Mickey Rourke would rather be on a deserted island with a gorilla, than being with Courtney Love; Hugh Jackman is going for the father of the year award now; Miley Cyrus doesn't want to talk about the $4 billion dollar lawsuit against her; and Benicio Del Toro is clearly drunk.
Danny DeVito talks about President Bush getting shoes thrown at him; Daniel Craig doesn't have the Christmas spirit; Tiffani Amber Thiessen is over her past roles; and Michael Bay takes over for the TMZ camera man, but it doesn't make him any better of a director.
The Armenia government talks about Kim Kardashian's thoughts on the Armenian genocide; Marcia Cross goes to a tanning salon, but can anybody really tell?; Holly Madison can use big words; and Allison Eastwood makes a quasi-racist statement.
Sarah Palin likes that TMZ and their viewers think she's hot; the TMZ camera man asks Maureen McCormick some blunt questions; Tommy Davidson has more car trouble; Kenan Thompson has no idea where Kel Mitchell is; and never ever call Jessica Beil, Jessica Alba.