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Sunday 8:00 PM on BBC TwoBetween Seasons

Favourite quotes.....

  • Avatar of kikiigirl

    kikiigirl

    [1]Feb 24, 2009
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    Which are your favourite quotes of the three????? I cannot think of many right now...so I'll just write this one from polar special...

    Jeremy: Who do you think is going to win this???

    James:I think we're all going to die....

    Edited on 02/24/2009 12:47pm
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  • Avatar of MattAllenLFC

    MattAllenLFC

    [2]Feb 25, 2009
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    I like this one:

    Jeremy: Then there's the BMW. Yes it's very fast and yes, it's very well priced, but my God it's ugly. That roof! Looks like a tramps hat.

    Edited on 02/25/2009 10:08am
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  • Avatar of PiperAmy

    PiperAmy

    [3]Mar 4, 2009
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    There are so many but here is one:

    Jeremy Clarkson: For me, the best supercar is the Ford GT. I like it so much, I actually bought this one twice.
    Richard Hammond: You bought it twice because it kept breaking down and you sent it back!

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  • Avatar of qrexranger9

    qrexranger9

    [4]Mar 4, 2009
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    oh too many to decide between and even remember. However I went on the internet the other day and I found this... well I actually took a trip to wikiquote to jog my memory so here are a few highlights.

    Jeremy: Right, what we have here is a snooker table or as Richard Hammond calls it as he arrived this morning, "Crikey, a football pitch!"

    Jeremy: Imagine watching the entire French air force crash into a fireworks factory. That's how much of a laugh this car is.

    Jeremy: And if you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.

    James: [to a pedestrian] Eh? No it's not a kit car, it's a Lamborghini... Philistine!

    James: You utter pirate! (I actually say that when playing Mario Kart with friends and they hit me at inopportune moments)

    James: It is amazing upholstery, I went in there and I immediately wanted a curry.

    Jeremy: [upon being unable to break into Richard's Suzuki Super Carry] Why don't you just pick the van up and put it in your pocket?

    James: [in the museum gift shop, as a general question] Do you have like a single volume on the artistic influence of Alfa Romeo coupes?

    Richard: There's only 2 knobs in it, well, 3 if you count the one who bought it.

    Richard: Second's nice, it's underrated as a gear.

    Clarkson: The volthead has overtaken the petrolhead. [puts finger next to ear, mimicking a telephone] Yes, I've just heard, it is snowing in hell.

    Jeremy: I can guarantee that won't stop the Mini. Partly because it's not substantial enough, but mostly because you've built that in front of that slope, and the Mini, is coming down that one. [pointing to the other ski slope].

    Thats just really standalone lines not dialogue (which would take up masses of space). But I left 2 of my actual favs til last. First has to be just after James tested FAB1 and said 'so I asks you, is I bling?' and also with Jeremy's test of the Konigsegg with the cutaway bit of him displaying smoking withdrawal symptoms at a tree and when he looks up and says 'It's just completely the wrong colour'. admitedly in both cases is was the context with who was saying it and the scene itself respectively that made it rather then just the quote itself but still...

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  • Avatar of MattAllenLFC

    MattAllenLFC

    [5]Mar 5, 2009
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    "It's just completely the wrong colour".

    I howled with laughter at that.

    From the Polar Special:

    Jeremy: A week in Resolute and three days on the ice with just - surviving only on Gin!

    Edited on 03/05/2009 4:36am
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  • Avatar of dd790

    dd790

    [6]Apr 5, 2009
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    James to Jeremy after loosing the Veyron race;

    "You unbearable man!"
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  • Avatar of JaneDoe2007

    JaneDoe2007

    [7]Apr 7, 2009
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    qrexranger9 wrote:

    Richard: Second's nice, it's underrated as a gear.

    I absolutely adore this quote. Richard said it with such innocence and simplicity … and Jeremy's reaction was priceless … very cute.

    One of my favorites was by James (talking about Jeremy's stretched Panda entry system): It's an ingenious solution to a problem that should never have existed in the first place!

    I just love those three ...

    Edited on 04/07/2009 1:40am
    Edited 2 total times.
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  • Avatar of JaneDoe2007

    JaneDoe2007

    [8]Apr 7, 2009
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    I thought of some more from the Vietnam Special ...

    Richard: Halong and Ha Noi are two big cities, I doubt they're connected by a 3 foot wide dusty path covered in hay!

    ...

    Jeremy: I've always said to my children that if they buy a bike I will burn it, and if they replace it with another one I shall burn that too. Now, however, if they buy a bike I will completely understand ... and then I'll burn it.

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  • Avatar of misterstiggy

    misterstiggy

    [9]May 6, 2009
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    about the mercedes clk black
    jeremy:this is thee biggest thriller since michael jackson went white
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  • Avatar of johnohull

    johnohull

    [10]May 16, 2009
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    Nobody can forget one of Hammond's Classics

    Richard Hammond: [when test driving a Bowler Wildcat] I am a driving god!

    Or how about the truck episode

    James May: What's the point. You can't powerslide lorries anyway.
    Richard Hammond: Technically, you can't powerslide anything.

    Or how about one of Clarksons best lines

    Jeremy Clarkson: If this were America, it would be full of people doing... whatever it is they do. Incest, mostly, I think.

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  • Avatar of mermayd

    mermayd

    [11]May 20, 2009
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    There are so many I can't remember them!

    I love it whenever James says "cock"

    How can you pick. Everything they say is hilarious.
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  • Avatar of joshta101

    joshta101

    [12]Jul 31, 2009
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    Jeremy: Now, we've been told in this new series, we've got to feature more green cars. So here's one. It's the greenest car we could find, really (walks over to an incredibly bright green Lambogini)

    Jeremy: (After talking about the new UK Government Scrappage scheme) So the government is using our money to fund Kim Yong Ill buy nuclear weapons.

    Richard (on American cars): Last time I saw so much plastic like this it contained Tic-Tacs.

    Richard (in the episode where he was in the car and the lightning struck): My life is now in the hands of A-Level Physics.

    Conversation between the Supermodel and James May in the recent episode

    Supermodel: Do you do anything to your hair?

    James: Well... I wash it.

    End conversation

    James (driving alongside Kevin Block): We are still alive! Yes!

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  • Avatar of misterstiggy

    misterstiggy

    [13]Aug 12, 2009
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    You've given me the baby, now get in the back!" Richard Hammond: [when test driving a Bowler Wildcat] I am a driving god! if you dont mend it im gonna bone your dog
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  • Avatar of 80stvfan

    80stvfan

    [14]Oct 27, 2009
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    I really can't choose. I'll just name a few of my favorite quotes.


    I love when James says COCK to anything. I especially liked it when he said it in the RWD challenge were they were told that they were to accelerate to 60 mph, and then brake in in 60 yards, or they'd damage something near and dear to their hearts. For Jeremy it was his drum kit, for Richard it was his christmas motorcycle, that his wife Mindy perhaps bought for him, and for James, it was his new piano. I love how Richard pulls up and stops in time, and spares his bike, and Jeremy just nudges his drum kit, but James who was still accelerating, can't stop in time. COCK smash, that was hilarious.


    I like James reaction when Jeremy knocks down his shed in the episode were they were to landscape and improve the look of Sir Steve Redgraves' house.


    James. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY BLOODY SHED MAN!


    I also like When Jeremy was riding his vespa up the mountain in Vietnam... I'M THE MOST MISERABLE HUMAN BEING ALLLIVVE!!! WHERE IS THIS BAR?! WHERE IS IT?!!!

    Edited on 02/02/2014 5:54pm
    Edited 2 total times.
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  • Avatar of sigridb

    sigridb

    [15]Oct 29, 2009
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    I can't remember what car Jeremy was commenting on, but he said that a particular feature on it was "about as useful as a snooze button on a smoke alarm". It's one of my absolute favourites, I actually even use that quote on occasion. In general, there are just too many good ones to recall them off-hand, but that one's tops in my books.
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  • Avatar of AdityaKartikaP

    AdityaKartikaP

    [16]Nov 4, 2009
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    i dont remember it very accurately but it goes like this

    Jeremy : James wont do oversteer because he thinks it's a left wing plot

    Hahahahahaha

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  • Avatar of BadWolf_35

    BadWolf_35

    [17]May 31, 2010
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    There are so many good quotes, so I had to look them up and pick out a few of the best ones:


    (on the bobsled run]
    Richard:Apparently it hits 6 and a half Gs in some of those corners down there. The driver's told me that he's been doing this for six years and he's 3 centimetres shorter. I can't afford to lose 3 centimetres!!


    [during the bobsled run]
    Richard: [shouting] I don't want to die in tights!


    Jeremy: [voiceover] ...and so in the spirit of Top Gear comradeship... we left James behind.


    [Recurring line]
    Richard: I have not had my teeth whitened!

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  • Avatar of BadWolf_35

    BadWolf_35

    [18]Jun 19, 2010
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    I found another one


    Richard: James' Herald was now beyond repair, fortunately, Jeremy was on hand to comfort him.
    Jeremy: YOU'VE FAILED!!

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  • Avatar of mermayd

    mermayd

    [19]Jul 31, 2010
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    "OLIVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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  • Avatar of 80stvfan

    80stvfan

    [20]Feb 2, 2014
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    you forgot the "I can't stand it" that followed that up.

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