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Trailer Park Boys

Season 3 Episode 3

If I Can't Smoke and Swear I'm F*cked

Aired Sunday 9:00 PM May 04, 2003 on Showcase
out of 10
User Rating
43 votes

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Episode Summary

If I Can't Smoke and Swear I'm F*cked
Ricky, Julian and Bubbles set up their own Trailer Park illegal gas station. Ricky then defends himself in court when they are caught by the police.

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  • The Best

    I could do a review of this episode or I could just tell you it's probably the best episode of the entire series, and one of the greatest half hours in comedy history. The father daughter bonding between Ricky and Trinity is enough to make one cry.

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (5)

    • Ricky: Everything is f*cking cool here.

    • Ricky: Look, I can't speak without swearing and I've only got my grade 10 and I haven't had a cigarette since I've been arrested and I'm ready to f*cking snap. So I'd like to make a request, under the people's freedom of choices and voices act that I be able to smoke and swear in your courtroom, cause if I can't smoke or swear I'm f*cked and so are all these guys. I wont be able to properly express myself on a court level and that's bulls*ht, its not fair and if you ask me I think it's a f*cking mistrial.
      Prosecutor: This man can't represent anyone, your honor he's a complete and total idiot.
      Judge: Yeah, well though I am opposed to that kind of language in my court room, I'm going to allow it.

    • J-Roc: Randy, you better go on with your f*cking perm coupon, ya know what I'm sayin' Gut-Cassidy and the Sundance Cheeseburger?
      Randy: What?
      J-Roc: What are you lookin' at my eyes for? I ain't got no candy for you, you see some candy?

    • Ricky: Are you gonna fight my daughter who's nine years old? Cause you're prolly gonna get hurt, okay?

    • J-Roc: There's two things mafuckas gotta know about J to the R.o.c. straight up, y'know what I'm sayin? First of all I spin more rhymes than a lazy susan, and I'm innocent until my guilt is proven. Peace. Representin Sunnyvale straight the f**k up.

  • NOTES (1)

    • This episode received 2 Gemini award nominations: Best Ensemble Performance in a Comedy Program or Series, and Best Writing in a Comedy or Variety Program or Series.