It breaks my heart to know that in another few weeks, we'll be saying goodbye to that twangy “I wanna do bad things to yeeeeeeeeeeoooooouuuu!” that's opened new episodes of True Blood for the last seven years.
However, as much as I don’t want the series finale to arrive, there’s a certain giddiness to the show right now, a certain cavalier swagger that makes me think there’s no major character the writers would hesitate to kill off before sunsetting the series. And that makes every episode—can you believe there are only four left?—feel dangerous and loaded with possibilities. And by "possibilities," I mean "opportunities to gamble."
Who do you think True Blood will kill off in its final episodes? I’ll play nice and give you my odds on each character's chances of staying alive before you put your money down, although I’ll also add I am terrible at math:
BILL: Currently, Mr. Compton is dying awfully fast. Even if a cure can be synthesized, his Hep-V seems to be moving pretty damn quick. Still, killing off the lead feels like too big of an F U to True Blood's fans, especially after all the work the show has done this season to make Bill a lovable southern gentleman once again.
ERIC: Eric was well-nigh killed off last season on an icy mountaintop. It would be just like True Blood to cure his Hep-V and then have him randomly staked by Sarah Newlin before she’s epically killed by Pam. If Eric isn’t endgame, then he’s probably a tragic hero.
PAM: Pam would probably throw herself in front of a stake to save Eric, but the only people who adore her more than True Blood's fans are True Blood's writers. I’m guessing they give her a happy ending.
JESSICA: Jessica is in trouble, because she’s standing between Violet and Jason, and now also Violet and Adilyn if Violet is into that fairy blood. However, she’s always functioned as an audience proxy, the Sookie of the vampires. I’d be shocked if she dies.
JASON: The abs that launched a thousand DVRs. Jason has run afoul of a vampiress, and that’s not a safe place to be; add in the fact he’s a hot guy who loves Sookie and he’s very at risk.
LAFAYETTE: I think we all want to see Lafayette find a happy ending with James. Of course, Nelsan Ellis is such a fantastic actor, I could also see the writers cooking up a meaty death scene to sink his acting chops into.
SOOKIE: If there was ever someone to nominate as Last Girl, it’d be Sookie. Sure, many fans actively hate her, but True Blood has been committed to rehabilitating her—which implies that they want her journey (a.k.a. this series) to end with something other than nihilism.
ANDY: His daughter is in the hands of a cruel vampire. He’s the sheriff of the Bon Temps, which means he'll be on the scene if the Hep-V vamps stage another attack. And he’s so close to his happy ending. Be careful, Andy!
ARLENE: If Arlene was going to pass out of this world, it would've happened when Terry made his cameo. Failing some apocalyptic, all-of-Bon-Temps-and-also-the-world cataclysm, I think we can breathe easy with Arlene.
SARAH NEWLIN: The biggest bad on a show about vampires and werewolves is now a tiny yoga enthusiast who’s very into Buddhism. She’s going down, and I can’t wait to see it.
HOLLY: Her boy is being held by a murderous vamp. Her hubby is the sheriff, and True Blood's writers might want to give him another big grieving scene. May the Lord walk beside you, Holly!
JAMES: He’s the newest cast member, he's utterly sympathetic, and Lafayette loves him—so James is in the danger zone. Still, if Lafayette gets a happy ending, James will certainly be part of it.
SAM MERLOTTE: I have been hoping Sam would die for seven seasons, but he’s always just a little too far removed from the main action for his death to actually happen. I do not expect that to change.
GINGER: Ginger’s life arguably ended when Eric walked out of Fangtasia. Whether we’ll actually see her again after that screaming breakdown—a career highlight—is up for debate, and if she does show up, it's unlikely she’ll meet an untimely end. I say Ginger is pretty safe.
LETTIE MAE: She’s addicted to vampire blood, chasing a ghost, and following a classic redemption arc. Lettie Mae may not have a lotta time left.
VIOLET: She’s the one thing standing in the way of Jason and Jessica being endgame, and now she’s kidnapped the sheriff’s daughter, who is protected by Jessica. If Jessica kills Violet, Violet is dead. If Violet kills Jessica, retribution will no doubt be swift.
NICOLE: This is going to go one of two ways. A) Nicole gets out of town and doesn’t die. B) She stays in town, dies, and Sam feels terrible. The power is in your hands, Nicole!
WILLA BURRELL: Willa never really developed dramatic ties to any other character on True Blood, so killing her off will have about the same impact as letting her live. In the spirit of optimism, I’m going to hope for the best.
Place your bets, Bloody Buddies! And please, no more math. Ever.
AIRED ON 8/24/2014
Season 7 : Episode 10