Is there anything more agonizing than the start of the final season of a show you adore? True Blood has spanned a very special era in my life; the series has bridged the gap between me being a confused noob fresh out of college and me being the matronly and eccentric old curmudgeon I am today. And while I can’t wait to get back to Bon Temps, I fear the end of True Blood will be the end of an era, as bittersweet as a parting kiss with a vampire viking on the doorstep of a Louisiana crab shack.
Still, at least we have one last season ahead, and with the sure hand of Brian Buckner still at the helm I have big hopes for an emotionally satisfying conclusion to the series. I mean, he turned the show around in 10 episodes in Season 6, and without any of Alan Ball’s mischief to patch up and a stunning premise set up for Season 7, I honestly can’t wait to see where he takes the story.
But just in case you’re all Game of Thrones'd in the head or Louie'd up in the heart and can’t even remember last summer or what the True Blood cast even looks like, here’s a rundown of where we left our favorite characters last season, as depicted by fans in Halloween costumes, because that is my favorite thing in the world and it's a reminder of how many people have been swept up in the vivid universe of this show. And also it’s been so long since last summer that you probz can’t tell the difference anyway.
I know, we sort of all hate her by now, but she’s still technically our proxy, and at the end of Season 6 it seemed like she'd finally made up her damn mind about which supernatural creature to go steady with (Alcide). UNTIL the mayoral proclamation that vampires and humans should form partnerships so that vampires would have safe blood to drink and humans would have protection from the ZOMBIE VAMPIRES that are drifting across the U.S. So that could mean exchanging blood with Bill, and we all know how quickly that turns into boot-knocking.
After becoming a vampire savior and defeating Warlow, Bill apparently went on some kind of media junket and got a book published yet still made it back to Bon Temps in time to offer Sookie protection in return for her sweet sweet blood just as the ZOMBIE VAMPIRES rounded the corner (of the woods? Sometimes woods have corners).
Eric is obviously the biggest cliffhanger of the show, as we saw him stark naked in the middle of the tundra just as his sunblock blood wore off. Will Pam swoop in and save him? If the show killed him off, would you even be able to bear it?
Is now the mayor of Bon Temps, and the one who suggested townwide danger-whoring to protect stay safe in the face of diseased vampires. The presumably much more lucrative enterprise of running Merlotte’s is now in the newly widowed Arlene’s hot little hands.
When last we saw Tara, she was accepting the gift of her mother’s blood as the rest of Bon Temps got down on some BBQ. Never mind that Lettie Mae had effectively cockblocked her daughter from the best Singles Mingles theme in history; my biggest concern is that she might've spiked Tara's bloodstream with Hep V just to further torture her. Don’t you think so?! Tell me I’m being paranoid.
Still feeling bad for that time she ate most of Andy’s offspring, Jess offered Andy and his gorgeous daughter Adeline her full protection, with no blood commitment on their side. It was the kind of selfless, big-hearted gesture we associate with Jessica when she’s not actively sucking fairies to death. (P.S. Remember how amazing Andy was for all of Season 6? I hope we get more of his big papa vibes in Season 7.)
Went AWOL last summer! Hopefully Season 7 season opens with her popping up beside Eric on his vacation glacier with a giant parasol big enough for both of them.
In the ever-loving embrace of super possessive vampire Violet, Jason is all set with vampire protection. But what about his feelings for Jessica, who’s doing double protection duty with no blood to speak of? Will Jason open his arms and veins to help out an old flame? Will doing so put Jessica at even greater risk?
Last but always most, Lafayette sort of took five throughout most of Season 6, popping up only for well-timed bon mots but without a meaty emotional arc to showcase his considerable skills. One of the most universally beloved characters in the show’s universe and an original HBO series creation, here’s hoping Lafayette gets a ton of screen time in the final season, finds love, and gets a major storyline. Also: Who will be his vampire co-pilot?
Y’all. Hit me up with your predictions for the final season, what you want to see, and what you’ll miss most when True Blood goes dark. Who you think will get a happy ending, who deserves one and who doesn’t, and who might meet the sun for real this season. And please, feel free to share photos of any True Blood costumes you’ve ever donned, too.
AIRED ON 8/24/2014
Season 7 : Episode 10