We find out what Sookie is...
4.0
How can an episode contain one of my favorite moments from the season and still be so...blah!? I am, of course, talking about Hoyt punching Tommy square in the face and then moments later Jessica coming to Hoyt's aid, after being attacked by Tommy in dog form, and picking up the mutt and tossing him into the woods. It. Was. Hysterical. I also like how they're playing out the Hoyt/Jessica relationship, a slight gender reversal to Bill and Sookie, only, ya know, not as painstakingly overcooked. It was a nice touch having Hoyt injured in Merlotte's parking lot with Jessica forced to feed him her blood just the way Bill did with Sookie in the second episode of the show.
Right, so, let's move onto business and tackle the giant elephant in the room: Fairies. FAIRIES!
''I'm a fairy? How f**king lame.''
I couldn't have said it better myself, Ms. Stackhouse. And if we're not wholly satisfied with that title, Bill also calls her by another name... an alien. Sookie Stackhouse is a descendant of rapist alien fairies. I wish I was paraphrasing right now, but that's apparently her linage in a nutshell. Rapist alien fairies.
Ya know, it's not that I have a problem with the idea of fairies within the True Blood universe. Heck, I was only calling Crystal a nymph a couple of reviews back (and how wrong was I, eh?), it's just... how f**king lame! I will probably warm up to the idea eventually, but I guess I was just hoping for something more. I mean, what's next? Leprechauns? After such a massive build up I was completely disappointed by this reveal. As for the rest of the episode, it contained nuggets of genuine entertainment, but for the most part, felt very out of character, very out of place within this season. For starters, a lot of the characters had very artificial dialogue and/or entirely out of character one-liners. Eric uses the phrase ''gold-digging wh*re!'' at one point to Yvetta, which is bad enough, but to have Pam call him a cold-hearted b**tard afterwards just added gas to the flame. These two are meant to be as badass as they come, Eric shouldn't need to channel his inner Kanye West, all he should need to do is stare at you with those soulless, sexy eyes of his and you will know he means business. Later on in the episode Bill mocks Eric and calls him Russell's ''butt boy'', and only moments later says ''explains why he went all Medieval on TV''. Stop trying to make Bill Compton, a vamp so stiff he's in a constant state of rigor mortis, come off sounding hip and trendy.
Writers Kate Barnow and Elizabeth R Finch's biggest offense of the night is their treatment of Sam. Now, to be fair, it had been established in the first season that the inhabitants of Bon Temps knew jack about Sam's past or where he came from, so I understand that there's potential storylines to milk here. We could have used a few episodes to help introduce these flashbacks, though. It was bad enough to discover that Sam used to be an expert jewel thief (a somewhat logical profession given his talents). In the very same episode, however, we also find out he's a cold-blooded murderer, killing two people at point-blank range. That's a lot to take on-board. It's also such a drastic shift in character I'm not entirely sure what to make of it. Like I said, perhaps a few episodes would have been sufficient to ease us into this new storyline obviously intended to stream into season four.
Russell hardly features in this episode, which I gotta say, was a big miss for the hour. After such an impressive onscreen debut last week his plans for global annihilation have certainly come to a middle. Now that he has finally put his lover to rest hopefully he will begin his terror on mankind as promised. I mean, he doesn't have to eat that many kids at first. I'd be perfectly happy with 2.4 children until the finale. Even the repercussions of his live evisceration is played off-screen and that's just no fun. Why aren't there more people scurrying around in a state of panic? Perhaps the writers bit off a bit more than they could chew with this storyline.
Let us try to stay positive, eh? Lafayette's V trip with Jesus was all kinds of fun. It was probably the best V trip since Jason and Amy's raunchy underwater love session way back in Season 1. As predicted, Jesus isn't all he appears to be. Then again, the same could be said for Lafayette. They're both descendants from rival magical ancestors, shamans to be precise. It's not made entirely clear if Lafayette's family dabbled in the black arts, although we find out that Jesus' uncle, who very clearly messes with evil mojo, had plans for him. It somehow involves Lafayette, my spider senses are telling me that much. Jason, meanwhile, gets one particularly strong scene when he realises that he has failed Bill. He grabs Bill by the collar and tells him where to stick it and uninvites him from his home. The special effects when Bill is magically evicted from Jason's house are corny as hell, but it was a very strong moment for Jason. He also tells Tara that he was the one who killed Eggs. I'm glad, at the very least, that the writers managed to give Jason a few decent scenes that benefit his likeabilty status immensely.
It's a pity the same can't be said about Crystal, who we find out can turn into a panther when she feels like it. (I'm still holding out for the possibility that she she's a hybrid panther/nymph!). The special-effects were solid, but I just don't care about Crystal, her allure has worn off. Last week she was pleading with Jason to go back with her to Hotshot and help the rest of her family and yet this week she vehemently states she never wants to go back to Hotshot. She's written all over place and it's probably the weakest storyline the show has had so far.
I had the same problem with Season 2. Alan Ball is using the last three episodes to set-up the next season, ultimately forgetting about current plot-threads. This was probably the weakest episode of the season.
Speaking of weak, that cliff-hanger was really something.
Eric has double-crossed Sookie. AGAIN. There's a surprise. (They'll be sleeping together by next week.)moreless