True Blood Season 2 Episode 2

(Lafayette lies on Eric's couch bleeding while Pam and Chow wait for Eric)
Chow: How much blood do you think he's lost?
Pam: (Pam paces) Oh, I still think he has something to offer.
Chow: I hate to let it all go to waste like this. Seems a shame we have to wait for Eric.
Pam: Well, maybe one day you'll be sheriff and you can make the rules.
Chow: I doubt that.
Pam: Me too.
(Eric comes in reading something, Pam stops pacing)
Eric: Sorry to keep you waiting so long. How's the leg?
Lafayette: It's shitty, thanks for askin'.
Eric: After all your proclamations about what a model prisoner you were going to be...you had to try to escape.
Lafayette: You were gonna kill me anyway right?
Eric: Well now you'll never know. So what's it gonna be Lafayette? Would you like the leg to kill you or would you prefer us to do it?
Lafayette: I'm gonna go with Plan C.
Eric: (slightly curious) There's a Plan C.
Lafayette: Make me a vampire.
Eric: (after a beat) I beg your pardon?
Lafayette: You can put me to work in the bar...I'm a good dancer, you've seen it on my site. (Eric walks around to him) Shit, I'd get up there and I'd move Earth and Heaven go-go
Eric: (surprised) You are aware there's a gaping hole in your leg? You're damaged goods.
Lafayette: Not if you turn me. I'd be good as ever. Look I...I'm already a person of poor moral character. So, I hit the ground running and I damn near glamour people already. Gimme what ya'll got...not only will I be a bad-ass vampire, but I'd be your bad-ass vampire.
Eric: Interesting.
Lafayette: (like he can't believe it) Yeah?
Eric: I'll take it under advisement. (looks to his right) Pam? (looks to his left) Chow? Chow time.
(their fangs drop and they descend on him)

(Talking to Jason, upset that he's not the golden boy)
Luke: Day one mighta went to you...Day two belongs to the Lukinator.

Luke: Think you walk on water, don't you?
Jason: (pauses and snaps off some floss to do his teeth) I'm pretty sure...that was Moses.
Luke: No, it was Jesus. Moses parted the Red Sea.

(Eric tells Bill about Godric being missing, then he gets to the point, so to speak.)
Eric: And it goes without saying he needs to be found... Which is where Sookie comes in.
Bill: No.
Eric: She's yours and I'm asking your permission to take her with me to Dallas.
Bill: Eric, you can do whatever you want with me but I am not putting her in this position anymore. I cannot and I will not allow you to bring her into these matters.
Eric: We made a deal, your human and I. That if I didn't kill anyone she would work for me as often as I like. You remember that don't you? You were there.
Bill: Taking her across state lines is a far cry from taking her to Fangtasia for the evening.
Eric: I'm only asking your permission out of respect. If I want her I can simply take her. Is no your final answer?
Bill: It is.
Eric: Poorly played Bill. (walks out of frame)

Andy: (after Sam mentions after looking at some couples dancing that it was one thing he didn't want people to feel pressured to do) This one time... I was in a club in Shreveport...and I actually had a woman tell me I looked like a...epileptic on meth. (Sam gives him a confused and sympathetic look) Never again Sam, never again.

Sam: Don't you think you've had enough?
Andy: (drinking a beer) I know what you're thinkin'.  Nine years sober. Why give it all up? But what I've got to say to that is ... why the hell not?

Terry: (recovering from sending out a lot of orders, Arlene's taken over so he can have a break) It's funny most of these orders are for table four. What the hell's going on at table four?

Eric: (walks up behind Bill in a blue tracksuit top and jeans, looking modern with his new hair cut short) Good evening old sport.
Bill: (turns and stares at him confused) Eric?
Eric: (sounding doubtful) It's the new me. (pauses and raises an eyebrow) You like?
Bill: (turns to face him fully and sounds sincere) I do. Very much.
Shop Assistant: (gasps and then looks as if she finally understands Bill rejecting her) Oh, Okay. Whoo. (she leaves and Bill turns back to Eric confused)

Sookie: (Watching Jessica cry, she finally gives into taking her to see her parents) Okay.
Jessica: Really?
Sookie: Yes, but we're just drivin' by and that's it ... And we should swing by my place first and get you a change of clothes, because I am not taking you out in public dressed like that. (stands up and Jessica follows)
Jessica: Thank you Sookie. Thank you so so much.
Sookie: Oh, don't mention it. (stops and looks back) To Bill. Ever. (waits until Jessica nods before continuing to walk out the doorway)

Luke: (sits down next to Jason and introduces himself) Hey there, Luke McDonald. No relation to the restaurant.
Jason: (smiles) Okay... any relation to the farm?
Luke: (looks confused and thinks for a moment) What farm?
Jason: (considers explaining it and then shrugs) Ah, never mind.

Bill: She has no humanity, she's in the grips of overwhelming transformations, there will be times when she cannot control even a single impulse...and believe me she HAS many.
Sookie: ...How is that any different from being a teenage girl?

Sookie: Another first.
Bill: How do you mean?
Sookie: We've never had makeup sex before.
Bill: How does it compare to "you thought I was dead" sex?
Sookie: That was pretty great too, but I wouldn't want to go through that again. I hated feeling like I'd lost you.
Bill: And yet you like fighting with me.
Sookie: I don't like to I just...
Bill: Let's not get too used to it then... we don't want to be one of those couples.

Eric: (throws dismembered arm at Lafayette and dribbles excess blood onto the ground) If you have any silver on you now would be the time to reveal it.
Lafayette: Noway, I ain't that stupid.
Eric: Yes you are. (wipes mouth and looks down at his hand in surprise) Is there blood in my hair?
Lafayette: (disbelievingly) What?
Eric: Is there blood in my hair?
Lafayette: I-I don't know I can't see in this light.
Eric: (flashes over to rest in front of Lafayette) How 'bout now? (bows his head a little so Lafayette can see)
Lafayette: Y-y-yeah t-there's a little bit of blood in there, yeah.
Eric: (whispering to himself) Oh, this is bad. Pam is going to kill me.
Lafayette: Who the f**k is Pam?
Eric: Why? Do you want to meet her?
Lafayette: No. No, I'm good.
Eric: We'll you're going to. (unlocks Lafayette's chains and pulls him up, holding him by the neck)
Lafayette: Where you taking me?
Eric: To find out what you know. I wouldn't try anything rash if I were you (kicks aside another dismembered arm) I'm still hungry.