Drive fast, outclass your opponents and crash into a tree like a dumb test dummy right before the finish line. It's how this 5th installment felt because the beginning augured of the most epic episode ever but slowly infection spread : Myriad of arcs, reashed stuff, dated editing
I'm in love with True Blood ! Let's start with what went right and why the show is irresistible. No harpies and gentlefeeders I'm not talking about Jason and Andy's fantastic butts. How Alcide & Sookie's drunken romance ended was expected but its execution was hilarious. Watching him declare his long time desire for her and the lady throwing up right on his boots was a moment I'm not ready to forget. Things got even better when Bill & Eric, always there when you don't need them, appeared right behind the fairy and the wolf. Next if there's one storytelling element I enjoy it's definitely fantasies, dreams or nightmares. I just can't get enough of these surreal and oneiric incursions so Jason's one was no exception. Ryan Kwanten is by far my favorite actor on the show and his He-Man tee-shirt killed the last breath of zany air I had in my body. As Barney Stinson would say : Suit up ! . More seriously his vengeful arc, as he's now convinced that their parents were butchered by vampires, has tremendous potential and considering Tara has now joined the dark side it's even more exciting to imagine what's going to happen next !
True Blood, I hate you ! Hoyt had a few anecdotic scenes so I'm still convinced Jim Parrack's talent is under exploited considering how percussive his few appearances in season 4 were. But this time the most important issue wasn't a secondary story, it was the main one. Even Terry Bellefleur and the ifrit were better. I still don't know how his arc will merge with the others but mixing contemporary warfare and uncommon mythology is quite refreshing. It also reminds me, so there's probably a connection here, that Lafayette's wicked persona has become my guilty pleasure. The desperate way he smashed the religious figurines and their high-pitched voices were reminiscent of cult horrors films like Dolls (1987) and Child's Play of course. Let's hope they will come back and fight him as a demon in some sort of reimagined story of Stephen King's Battleground ! And
he was supposed to point out what went wrong. Yes I was but when you have such hypnotic gems in sight how can you look somewhere else ? It leads us, finally, to what ruined my night fever : Sookie and her gang. Shame on me for comparing them to the Scooby Gang in some other review ! Joss Whedon isn't behind True Blood, Sookie is no Buffy, Alyson Hannigan made the sexiest geeky girl and no one can be as dangerous as a Xander armed with a wooden stick ! I can't believe how badly executed and predictable was Sookie and her men's exploration of the hospital. From the fat chicken she was forced to mind read to the creative less mix with other arcs I'm still stunned of such a bad development. It wasn't scary. It was funny. It was just dead boring and the highly awaited discovery of this season's villain completely spoiled by the misplaced music, soporific slow motions and epileptic switches between stories.
To sum things up the mad editor, mummy writer and negligent director deserves to be buried alive with candy canes for only food supplies. Who will be the last (wo)man standing ? You'll know next week and until then, be as cheerfully blondie as Sookie !
Note : This review was first posted on Kritikenstein, my weblog.