Trust Me Season 1 Episode 11

(after Sarah tells Andrew she's seeing someone new)
Andrew: I'm telling you it's fine.
Sarah: Okay. You know what? Don't do the robot thing, where you pretend you don't have any feelings.
Andrew: So if I'm not feeling the way you want me to feel, I'm a robot?

(imagining a conversation after reading an evaluation from his subordinates)
Tom: It couldn't have been us.
Hector: No way.
Mason: Why not?
Tom: I worship you as a living God.
Hector: Such a suck-up. (to Mason) You know I can't spell mediocre.
Tom: He'd always switch the 'r' and the 'e'.

Sarah: He has an orchid in his apartment. And now I know what that means.
Conner: He's gay?
Sarah: Yeah.
Conner: Because he has an orchid?
Sarah: Yeah.
Conner: Everybody who has an orchid is gay?
Sarah: Pretty much.
Conner: My grandmother has an orchid.
Sarah: Then she's gay.

Jeff: Hello, Mason. [I'm] Jeff Wheaton. I'm with Blue Tricycle.
Mason: Am I supposed to know what that means?

Sarah: I don't think we should see each other anymore.
Andrew: Oh, uh, okay. Uhm, why?
Sarah: Because I just totally failed in doing a trust circle. And, let's see, my ex-husband is gay.
Andrew: Huh. The gay ex-husband excuse. I... never heard that one before.