Trust Me

(after Sarah tells Andrew she's seeing someone new) Andrew: I'm telling you it's fine. Sarah: Okay. You know what? Don't do the robot thing, where you pretend you don't have any feelings. Andrew: So if I'm not feeling the way you want me to feel, I'm a robot?

(imagining a conversation after reading an evaluation from his subordinates) Tom: It couldn't have been us. Hector: No way. Mason: Why not? Tom: I worship you as a living God. Hector: Such a suck-up. (to Mason) You know I can't spell mediocre. Tom: He'd always switch the 'r' and the 'e'.

Sarah: He has an orchid in his apartment. And now I know what that means. Conner: He's gay? Sarah: Yeah. Conner: Because he has an orchid? Sarah: Yeah. Conner: Everybody who has an orchid is gay? Sarah: Pretty much. Conner: My grandmother has an orchid. Sarah: Then she's gay.

Jeff: Hello, Mason. [I'm] Jeff Wheaton. I'm with Blue Tricycle. Mason: Am I supposed to know what that means?

Sarah: I don't think we should see each other anymore. Andrew: Oh, uh, okay. Uhm, why? Sarah: Because I just totally failed in doing a trust circle. And, let's see, my ex-husband is gay. Andrew: Huh. The gay ex-husband excuse. I... never heard that one before.