Two and a Half Men

Season 4 Episode 5

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Oct 16, 2006 on CBS
out of 10
User Rating
139 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Alan is overjoyed by the prospect of Judith remarrying, as he would no longer have to pay alimony. Alan gets Charlie to help him when it looks like the marriage maybe derailed due to Jake’s dislike of his mother’s fiancé.

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Alan sunk really low!

    When he finds out that Judith is planning to marry Herb, which means he won't have to pay alimony anymore to her. However, that joy is short lived when he finds out that Jake doesn't want Herb as a dad because he already has a dad. Judith said that she won't marry Herb until Jake adjusts to the idea. Jake says they'll never get married because he'll never adjust. Alan desperately wants to get out of paying alimony that he resorts to demean himself by saying,"Jake, you can do better than me," which is actually true as Charlie puts it. Alan even admits that he's not real doctor, but Herb is. And all through the show, Alan has been mocked that he isn't a real doctor, even though he believes himself to be. But technically a chiropractor isn't a doctor. So Herb makes more money(which could be why Judith's marrying him) and can buy Jake better gifts.

    Then when Herb says he and Judith are thinking about holding off the wedding for a while, Alan tries to convince Herb to run off to Vegas and marry Judith because marriage can't wait. Herb says that he's not ready just yet to get married and be a stepfather. He has to get used to it. Alan says that Herb doesn't need to get used to the idea. Alan says that Herb doesn't need time, he'll get the hang of it right away. But of course, we know Alan's doing this because he wants to get out of paying alimony as soon as possible. Alan has got a lot of nerve to try and pull a stunt like that!

    It would've been good if this happened;

    Judith: What's going on?

    Herb: Oh, nothing. Just that Alan was telling me that we just go to Vegas and elope, instead of waiting a while till I'm ready. He also said that I don't need time to adjust being Jake's stepfather.

    Alan:(holding his hands up at Herb) Shh! Shh!

    Herb: I don't get it. Why would Alan say that?

    Judith: (sarcastically) I don't know. You wouldn't happen to have an alterior motive behind that, would you Alan?(grabbing Alan's ear)

    Alan: OW! Me? No. I perish the thought. I'm just trying to make you and Jake happy. Right, Charlie?

    Charlie: Well, his motive is about becoming happy.

    Judith: It's okay, Herb. You take all the time you need. (looks at Alan and smiles sarcastically) I'm in no hurry to get REMARRIED.

    Herb: Thanks, honey. Thanks for the advice, Alan but I think I'm gonna do what Judith says and take it slow.

    Alan looks like he's going to cry.

    Charlie: Well, Alan, you've just proved that there is such a thing as trying too hard.

  • Hey, this one was actually pretty good

    This season hasn't been looking up so far but this episode may have brought it back. I liked Herb, I remember watching him from the second episode of Season 2.

    What Alan and Charlie did with him was quite hilarious. I found it a real comeback to the series. The whole Jake scenes were entertaining. I wont go on too much unless this were a poorly done or a fantastic episode. Once again, it's just in the middle.

    But yes, quite a good episode, and it was needed to keep this fourth season alive. The first episode from this season that I witnessed was 408: Release The Dogs, and that was pretty cool.

    So overall, well written and it is starting to move into good shape.moreless
  • another very good episode

    this show is damm good and this episode is very funny. Since it startes till it ends, a good combination alan/charlie with charlie saying the right jokmes in the right time. Just proves you dont need to see girls showing his bodie to have a good time. the all thing of buying off the kid so he likes the new dad is awesome. alan keeps being a jerk!

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

  • QUOTES (13)

    • Alan: (to Jake) You know, I am a little surprised at you. I would think you would want your mom to be happy.
      Jake: Hey, she can be happy all she wants, I just don't need some jerk pretending he's my dad.
      Alan: Oh, why not?
      Jake: Because I already have a dad.
      Charlie: And he's already a jerk.

    • Charlie: (to Herb about Judith) How's the sex?
      Herb: That's a little personal, isn't it?
      Charlie: Hey, I didn't ask which way you point her. I just wanna make sure you two kids are compatible.
      Herb: Oh, well, there's no problem in that area.
      Charlie: See, Alan? It was you.
      Alan: (gives Charlie an insulted look but turns back at Herb chuckling) That's me. The original one-pump chump. Ha.
      Herb: So I hear. (Alan looks insulted again)

    • Alan: I need to start carrying my own weight, which is actually getting easier now that I'm wasting away.

    • Alan: Herb, you haven't touched your beer.
      Herb: Oh, well I'm not too much of a drinker.
      Charlie: So let's have a drinking game: Whenever Alan gives me a strange look, we all have a drink. (Alan stares at him)
      Charlie: Whoops, let's just start it!

    • (Alan and Charlie are taking drunk Herb to Judith's house)
      Charlie: So what we sould do, ring the bell and leave running?
      Alan: Charlie, he is not a flaming poop in a paper bag.
      Charlie: Hey, check out his cell phone. (Alan checks on Herb's pocket)
      Herb: Judith?!
      (Judith opens the door)
      Judith: Hey, who is there?
      (Charlie and Alan just drop Herb and leave running)

    • Alan: Marriage is like skydiving. You have to jump out of the old plane...
      Charlie: And get sucked into the old propeller.
      Alan:...A propeller of love.

    • Charlie: Don't be mean to your mother.
      Jake: You're mean to your mother.
      Charlie: My mother can take it. She actually feeds on it.

    • Judith: Would you wait in the car, please?
      Jake: Who's in trouble, me or dad?
      Judith: Nobody's in trouble.
      Jake: (to Alan) It's you.

    • Alan: Why did you run away?
      Jake: Because I hate it there!
      Alan: Is this about the upcoming nuptials?
      Jake: It's nothing to do with puberty, dad. It's about mom getting married.

    • Alan: A bribable child is a controllable child.

    • Alan: Jake's happy being an only child.
      Charlie: If there was a new one I think he'd probably eat it by mistake.

    • Alan: Jake's a sound sleeper.
      Charlie: Yeah, nothing wakes that kid up. And I've had some real screamers at my place.

    • Charlie: Don't underestimate the value of having a prescription pad lying around the house.
      Alan: Charlie!!!
      Charlie: In case someone gets sick...or bored

  • NOTES (3)

    • The German episode title is "Ein guter Schläfer", meaning "A Good Sleeper". The French title is "Enterrement de vie de garçon", meaning (idiomatically) "Bachelor Party". The Italian title is "Forti perplessità", meaning "Considerable Doubts". The Spanish title is "Una mujer viva de fertilidad probada", an exact translation.

    • Though credited, Holland Taylor and Conchata Ferrell do not appear in this episode.

    • There is a similar episode to this in the second season ("Go Get Mommy's Bra") where Alan is happy with Judith being in a new relationship with Herb, so that he doesn't have to pay alimony.