Alan: Sherri invited me to her house for dinner tonight. I think she wants to have sex.
Charlie: With who?
Alan: With me.
Charlie: With you. Hang on a second. (looks at the newspaper) Nope, no snowballs reported in Hell, no sightings of flying pigs.
Charlie: So, how you getting to the restaurant?
Alan: Sherri's picking me up.
Charlie: Ah! Very convenient.
Alan: Why? Because she's been here before? Because she's been here with you? Because you've had sex with her in every room in the house?
Charlie: No, because you can't drive, but it's interesting to see how your mind works.
Alan: If I ever had a woman like that, I would cherish her, I would worship her, I would start a small country and put her face on a stamp so I could lick the back of her head.
Charlie: When making love, the way to slow yourself down is to think of something completely non-sexual.
Alan: What do you think of?
Alan: What does marriage have to do with sex?
Charlie: Alan, let me give you a piece of advice. Alcohol impairs your ability to make good decisions. We don't want you to lose that ability... we want her to.
Alan: I took a piece of whole wheat toast to the eye.
Charlie: Well, you know how women like you to go slow...
Alan: Really? My ex-wife put a premium on brevity. Her motto was "less is more and none is perfect."
The German episode title is "Der Todestoast", meaning "The Death Toast". The French title is "Fiancé de substitution", meaning "Substitute Fiancé". The Italian title is "Toast mortale ninja", meaning "Deadly Ninja Toast". The Spanish title is "Un Ruido Gutural- Bucal", meaning "A Gutteral, Oral Noise".
John Shaffner and Ann Shea were nominated for an Emmy in the Outstanding Art Direction for a Multi-Camera Series category for their work on this episode, in conjunction with "It Was Mame, Mom".
John Shaffner was nominated for an Art Directors Guild Excellence in Production Design Award in the Television - Multi-Camera Television Series category for his work on this episode.
This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #134.
Marin Hinkle (Judith), Melanie Lynskey (Rose), Holland Taylor (Evelyn), and Conchata Ferrell (Berta) didn't appear in the original airing of this episode.
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