Special Guest Star
Jake says the title Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin in this episode.
Jake: She brought soup!
Charlie: Why would she bring soup?
Alan: You told her you had a bug. So she assumed it was bronchial. If you had been more specific like I suggested, you could have precluded this. Nobody just drops by when they think you have diarrhea.
Jake: And I bet they don't bring soup, either.
Fernando: Is the big one here?
Charlie: She went to get something waxed.
Alan: We were afraid to ask what.
(Alan answers the phone)
Alan: Oh, hang on. I'll see if he's here. (to Charlie) It's Chloe.
Charlie: I need more than that, Alan.
Alan: The girl you adopted at the animal shelter.
Charlie: I just thought maybe it's almost lunchtime.
Berta: Oh, yeah. (Looks towards Fernando) Quesadilla, bright eyes?
Fernando: Thank you.
Berta: Coming up.
Charlie: Actually, I'd rather have a sandwich...
Berta: I'm making quesadillas!
Charlie: Quesadillas. Fine.
Charlie: You look at an animal shelter and see homeless dogs and kitties about to be put to death. Me? I see an ass farm.
Alan: OK, I'm speechless.
Charlie: No words necessary - silent admiration is all I ask.
Charlie: (Chloe exits, Charlie sighs) Oh, when will I learn?
Alan: Soon. Very soon.
Charlie: Don't tell me, tell the cockeyed optimist in my pants.
Chloe: You are so thoughtful. Most guys aren't. Most guys are just selfish, hateful bastards that just want to use you and then throw you away.
Charlie: Damn them! Anything else you might've overlooked? Cellphone? Earrings? Any medications?
Chloe: Hang on. (Chloe looks inside her purse, finds her pills, holds it up and shakes the container) Nope, I'm all set!
Charlie: Oh, I gotta stop falling off the deck sober. (Charlie glances out the window and notices Fernando working on his deck)
Fernando: Buenos dias.
Charlie: Huevos rancheros.
Berta: See, my problem is that I'm a giver. I love too much. And it's always the wrong man.
Fernando: You have romance in your heart.
Berta: Oh, I have romance all over me. I reek of it.
Alan: (To Jake) Summer school three years in a row? They might as well make you the janitor.
Charlie: You know the difference between you and me, Alan?
Alan: I don't scream when I pee?
Alan: (Talking about Chloe) So where did you find this one?
Charlie: The animal shelter.
Alan: Are we getting a pet?
Charlie: Are you crazy? We've already got your kid.
The German episode title is "Vergiss Fernando", meaning "Forget Fernando". The French title is "La nouvelle génération", meaning "The New Generation". The Italian title is "Il falegname", meaning "The Carpenter". The Spanish title is "El oso hormiguero tiene cara de loco'", meaning "Anteaters Are Crazy-Looking".
This is the second of Rachel Cannon's two, unrelated appearances on Two and a Half Men. She can also be seen earlier this season in "Corey's Been Dead for an Hour".
Though credited, Holland Taylor does not appear in this episode.
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