Two and a Half Men

Season 1 Episode 17

Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Feb 23, 2004 on CBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Charlie: (holds Jake's hand as he is getting stitches in his head) It's okay, buddy, I'm right here with you. Go ahead, Doc.
      Jake: Ow! Ow! Ow!
      Charlie: (to doctor) Hey, go easy on the kid!
      Jake: No, you're squishing my hand!
      Charlie: Oh. Sorry. Did you feel the shot?
      Jake: No.
      Charlie: You're welcome.
      Doctor: Perhaps you'd prefer to wait outside.
      Charlie: I'd prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!

    • Charlie: No, you don't understand. He fell on his head. He's bleeding.
      Nurse: Okay. Follow my finger. (moves her finger to the left, right, up and down in front of Jake's face, and smiles) He's gonna be fine.
      Charlie: That's it? He's fine? That's not a medical test. That's how you hypnotize a chicken!

    • Charlie: (filling out a form for Jake at the hospital) First name. Jake. Ob?
      Jake: Mm-hmm.
      Charlie: Jacob. I knew that. What's your middle name?
      Jake: You don't know?
      Charlie: Of course I know. I'm just checking to see if you know. You fell on your head, dude!
      Jake: David.
      Charlie: David. Jacob David. Your parents sure went Old Testament on you, didn't they?

    • Charlie: (playing one-on-one basketball with Jake) Haha! Not so easy when I'm paying attention, is it?
      Jake: Not so hard, either.

    • Charlie: I'm gonna grab my keys, and we'll head to the hospital.
      Jake: I don't want to go to a hospital!
      Charlie: Did I say hospital? I meant Disneyland.

    • Alan: (to Charlie) If Mom's ever in a coma you're the one who has to decide whether to pull the plug.
      Charlie: Pull.

    • Alan: Last summer he actually fractured his ass doing a cannonball into the bath tub.

    • (filling out Jake's hospital form)
      Charlie: Is there anything you eat that makes you sick?
      Jake: I ate a worm once

    • Alan: (about Jake) I'm not giving him to anybody. He's not a five pound ham.

    • Jake: Uncle Charlie, show mom how you mop the floor with my hair.
      Charlie: It's actually more like dusting.
      Judith: What if you drop him and he cracks his head open?
      Charlie: Then I'd really have to mop.

    • (Charlie is filling out Jake's hospital forms)
      Charlie: Have you had one of the following: measles?
      Jake: I don't know.
      Charlie: Mumps?
      Jake: I don't know.
      Charlie: Chicken pox?
      Jake: Is that the one with the spots?
      Charlie: Yes!
      Jake: I don't know.

    • Charlie: (On the phone with Judith) Oh, hey, Judith. (rolls his eyes)Why do I have Alan's phone?...Why do you want custudy of that too.(Laughs)...oh come on,it's a little funny.Ya know what,I bet me and Alan switched phones by mistake.You want my number? Okay, it's 310-Lick-Me...hey it's not my fault if that's what it spells.

    • Jake: What?
      Alan and Charlie: Nothing.
      Jake: Then why did you say my name?
      Charlie: Get over yourself, nobody said your name.

    • Allen (After Charlie said he couldn't be trusted with Jake): He's a boy you can't keep him from getting hurt. Last summer he actually fractured his ass doing a cannon ball into the bath tub.

    • Charlie: Bought some hamburgers, bought the hats; Ate the hamburgers, wearing the hats.

  • Notes

    • The German episode title is "Hamburger und Mützen", meaning "Hamburger and Hats". The French title is "Un cheeseburger, s'il vous plait!". The Italian title is "Mangiato cheeseburgher .. provato cappelli", meaning "Ate the Cheeseburger, Tried on the Hats". The Spanish title is "Para comérnoslas con los gorros puestos", meaning "Eating with Hats Off".

    • This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #111.

    • Melanie Lynskey (Rose) doesn't appear in this episode.

  • Allusions

    • When Charlie and Alan talk about Kansas (and who Charlie is thinking of that lives there), Alan mentions Dorothy and Toto. These are the main characters from L. Frank Baum's The Wizard of Oz, who live on a farm in Kansas.

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